Rabbit’s hand reached up and cupped my cheek and I looked down at her. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispered lovingly, her fingers stroking my skin. Capturing her hand with mine, I kissed her palm, smiling. Always so encouraging, and always finding the right words to lift my spirits. That was my Rabbit. She smiled at my gesture, pushing my plate toward me. “Eat your pie, Joshua.”
“That’s great, Joshua. It’s a fucking tough thing to do. Don’t sell yourself short.” Adam clapped me on the shoulder. “And you, Lizzy?” Adam’s voice was gentle as he spoke to her. “Are you finding things better being able to talk to someone?”
She nodded. “Yes. Anna is great. She comes out with Trina a few times a week and we sit here and talk. She helps me get things out and deal with them.”
Adam smiled. “That’s great. You both need to be able to put the past behind you and concentrate on the future. You look so much better, Lizzy. I’m pleased to see it.”
Rabbit laughed. “If by better you mean well-rested and fed, then you’re correct. Joshua hardly lets me do anything unless it involves baking something, and every time I turn around, there is a smoothie or a snack waiting for me to eat. I’m gonna be as big as a house by the time the baby is born.”
Both Adam and I laughed. I doubt she had gained more than five pounds, but she was healthier looking and more relaxed. She was right, though, I didn’t want her doing anything strenuous and I had been a little overboard on the resting thing. She was starting to push back and that was a good sign of her strength coming back.
I leaned forward, kissing her softly, my hand finding its way to her stomach, caressing it tenderly.
“BG likes the smoothies,” I reminded her.
Her smile was soft.
“Yes, Joshua, we both do. Both of us love how you look after us.”
I grinned.
“Good to know, Rabbit.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Joshua
The day was winding down. Adam had left, promising to be in touch as soon as he had more news of the divorce proceedings. The remainder of his favourite pie went with him, despite my sulking, but Rabbit had whispered she had saved me a piece so I let him go unscathed.
Trina had come and we had a good, although exhausting, session and now Rabbit and I were sitting and soaking in the hot tub. I had lowered the temperature to make it like a warm bath, knowing how much she enjoyed the relaxing bubbles. Other times, I simply turned it up and used the heat to soothe my leg, but in truth, I preferred the warmth of Rabbit beside me. Her hands were busy kneading my leg; today, Trina had decided I needed to walk off the property rather than drive and we ended up walking further than either of us had expected.
I looked over at Rabbit, watching her concentration as she stroked and kneaded the muscles. She had been quiet since our meeting with Adam and I wanted to know why. Something had upset her.
I reached my hand down and stilled hers. She looked up, startled. “Joshua?”
I moved and pulled her over onto my lap and then reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear that had come loose. The whole time, her eyes watched me warily as they had done most of the day. I didn’t like that. “Talk to me, Rabbit.”
Immediately, her eyes darted away, focusing elsewhere. “About what?” she whispered.
I cupped her face. “No. Look at me. Something happened this morning. You’ve been skittish ever since. And don’t tell me it was because of discussing the divorce. I know it was something else; I just don’t know what.”
Her eyes looked at me, and I couldn’t understand the confusion and worry I saw in them. “Rabbit, please. You’re killing me here. Tell me.”
“You don’t … you don’t have to marry me because I’m pregnant, Joshua. I would never take your child away from you,” she whispered brokenly. “Whatever papers you had Adam draw up, I’ll sign.”
I stiffened in shock.
That was what she thought?
That I only wanted to marry her because she was pregnant? That I wanted to make sure she didn’t take the baby away?
I felt anger trickling down my spine as I regarded her slouched shoulders. But it wasn’t directed at her. The blame for this lay strictly at that bastard, James’ feet. He had made her feel she wasn’t enough for so long, she actually still believed it. She found it difficult to believe she could be loved just for being herself; for the amazing woman she was.
Suddenly, I saw how my statement must have sounded to her. We had never even discussed marriage. It was my own assumption she would want to be married before the baby was born, if possible. That she even wanted to get married again. I had just assumed she would want to marry me. I had never really asked her. I only knew I desperately wanted to marry her. I had just never told her before opening my mouth and saying it in front of Adam.
I groaned at my carelessness and pulled her close. “Rabbit, I’m so sorry. God, I’m such an asshole at times. I have no idea how you put up with me.” I sat back and lifted her chin. “I didn’t think before talking this morning.”