She shook her head, but the tears in her eyes were fresh. “What is it, Rabbit?”
I looked down and saw she was clutching something in her hands. Reaching down, I tugged on the small piece of paper, but she refused to relinquish it. I couldn’t tell what it was but I knew it had something to do with why she was upset. I looked in her eyes and was confused at her expression. She wasn’t upset as much as almost hopeful and yet nervous looking. “Rabbit?”
Her voice was shaking. “Joshua … I’m pregnant.”
My entire body locked down. The room faded away as I struggled to remain calm.
Rabbit was pregnant.
Visions and thoughts flew through my head.
So thin. She had been so thin when I found her. She couldn’t have been pregnant then. Could she?
That meant she was very newly pregnant.
My eyes shut as I realized what it meant.
Brian James had forced himself on her while she was there.
When I had sent her back to him. He had done this to her. Because of me.
I felt the bile rise in my throat and felt my hands clench at my sides. My breath was coming out in small angry gasps. I felt Rabbit’s free hand cup my face and her voice pleading with me. “Joshua, please.”
Instantly, I was ashamed. She needed me. I needed to be strong for her.
I opened my eyes and looked into her now frightened gaze. Everything else faded away except for one thing. Rabbit needed me. I loved her. I made a decision.
“Do you want to keep this baby?” I asked quietly.
She looked shocked. “Of course I do, Joshua! You don’t understand! I need to tell you …” her voice trailed off as I placed my fingers on her lips silencing her.
“Then I will love this child like it’s my own,” I vowed.
Her eyes widened and more tears fell down her cheeks. She pushed my hand away.
“Joshua, it is yours.” As she spoke she shoved the paper in my hand.
I looked down, confused. I had no idea what I was looking at. I looked up at her, hating to dash the hope I saw in her eyes, knowing she didn’t want to tell me what had transpired. I shook my head. “I can’t have children, Rabbit.”
She shook her head right back at me. “Then it’s the second coming, Joshua. I know what you’re thinking. But Brian didn’t touch me while I was there. I swear he didn’t. He hasn’t touched me since the first couple weeks of our marriage. The only person I have been with is you.”
I stared at her, unable to process what she was saying. He didn’t touch her?
Her hands came up, cradling my face. “I love you so much knowing you would stand by me and love someone else’s baby, Joshua. But the baby is yours.”
“How?”
My thoughts were chaotic and I lifted my hands to her arms, grasping them. I didn’t understand. The baby was mine? How? Was it possible?
God, I wanted it to be possible.
Rabbit’s hands stayed on my cheeks, her thumbs constantly stroking in small circles of comfort. She smiled, keeping her tear-filled eyes on mine.
“Rabbit, I can't ... they told me I can't ...”
Her eyes were shining and her smile widened as another single tear slipped over her cheek.
“Yes, Joshua, you can.”
She took my hand and I watched as she placed it over her belly, holding it there. “You did, Joshua.”
I felt like all the breath had been knocked from my body, like I'd been hit with a wrecking ball. I couldn't form words or thoughts; all I could do was stare at my shaking fingers as they spread wide over her tiny form, rumpling the thin cotton of the hospital gown.
“How?”
I lifted my bewildered eyes to her again. Keeping my gaze, she called out calmly for Daniel. A moment later, I felt his comforting hand on my shoulder.
“Sit down before you fall down, Joshua. We’ve had enough surprises today.”
Reluctantly, I moved my hand from Rabbit’s belly and lowered myself shakily onto the examination table beside her. I looked at Daniel.
“I don’t understand. They said there was too much damage after the attack. That I would probably never father a child,” I recited what I had been told like it was gospel.
Daniel smiled. “The key word there is probably, Joshua. It was never conclusive. And, you never pursued it did you? Did you have any other tests done?”
I shook my head. I had been too overwhelmed with everything else that was happening at the time to pursue anything.
“When we got the blood test results, I had the OB-GYN come and do the transvaginal ultrasound immediately. Lizzy is roughly five weeks pregnant. Doing the math, I would say she was with you at that time.”
I stared at him, trying to comprehend what he was saying.
Rabbit was pregnant.
With my child.
Our child.
I was going to be a father.