“Do you think that will help? If he wasn’t trying to drive?” Rabbit asked, her voice close enough to my ear for her breath to tickle my earlobe.
“He did okay last time, when someone else took the responsibility of removing him from the property. Maybe it’s just a matter of baby steps and this is too much all at once. Maybe if he sat in the back with you and I drive, it would work. You want to try that, Joshua?”
I forced my eyes open and looked over at Adam. His eyes regarded me with nothing but kindness and concern. I looked in the rear view mirror and was met with Rabbit’s love-filled but worried eyes. Her arms tightened around me and I nodded. Adam was right. The most important thing was getting her to the hospital. As long as I was by her side, it didn’t matter how we arrived. I unclipped my seatbelt and slid out of the driver’s seat and into the back with Rabbit. Adam slid his seat forward, and came over to the driver’s side and climbed in. Wordlessly, I moved to the other side to give him enough room to move the seat back. As he got comfortable, I pulled Rabbit into my shaking arms, burying my face in her neck. “I’m sorry,” I breathed into her soft skin. She shook her head.
“No,” she whispered fiercely, running her fingers through my hair. “I feel better in your arms anyway.”
The truck lurched forward and I wrapped myself around Rabbit even tighter, shutting my eyes as I had done in the chopper the day we went to find her. This time, I had her sweet voice in my ear, telling me how much she loved me, how proud she was of me, to concentrate on. Her words and touch were comforting and I relaxed a little into the seat, keeping her close. I heard the sound of the gate opening in front of us and I began to tense, my breathing picking up again.
Without warning, Rabbit’s words stopped and her mouth crashed onto mine. Startled, I gasped and instantly her tongue was inside my mouth softly stroking as her hands wound into my hair, holding me tight. Groaning, I gave myself up to the taste and heat of her, kissing her back with everything I had, lost in the kaleidoscope of feelings she brought out in me. Finally breaking apart, both of us gasping for air, I lifted my head. My property, my safe haven, was far behind me. And, I was surprisingly okay. In fact, I was way better than I had been a few minutes ago when I was thinking of leaving the property. Looking down, I smiled warmly into Rabbit’s sweet face, my thumb tracing her swollen lips. “Nice diversion tactic, Rabbit.”
Up front, Adam laughed. “I think your sidekick status just got a permanent check mark, Lizzy.” Then his voice became serious. “I know this is a big thing, Joshua. I think the key may be having the actual leaving taken care of by someone else for a while. Give yourself time to adjust and work up to it. One step at a time.”
I nodded, once again dropping my face into Rabbit’s neck. Her arms tightened around me again and I was content to remain like that for the drive. I still had to face walking into the hospital and being in an unfamiliar environment.
“Joshua?” Rabbit’s voice was a pleasant hum in my ear.
“Hmm?”
“Did you have some exercises, maybe … like some positive thoughts or something you used to do with Maggie when she was helping you to be able to leave the house the first few times?”
I nodded.
“Maybe you could try and use them again. I can help you, if you want.”
I looked up at her in wonder. “You are so clever, Rabbit,” I whispered. “Having you in my arms already helps more than I can tell you.” Leaning back, I took her with me, pushing her head gently onto my chest. I concentrated on my breathing and reached into my memory, finding the phrases and key words I used to practice with Maggie as I took the steps to leave my front door. I began to recite them in my head, and their familiarity helped to ease the panic I was feeling. Keeping Rabbit close, I opened my eyes and watched the vista fly past; my heartbeat slowly returning to normal.
I had to do this. I could do this.
For Rabbit.
Daniel met us at the door of the hospital. Seeing him in his doctor’s garb and feeling the sudden tremor that went through Rabbit reminded me of exactly why we were here. For her. Holding onto the thought of her needs, I was able to pull her off my knee and get out of the truck fairly easily. I held out my hand and helped her down, then wrapped my arm around her, keeping her close, as we followed Daniel through the maze of hallways, Adam right behind us.
Daniel led us to a small office and examination room, while Adam remained outside in the waiting area. He sat down behind the desk and indicated we should sit as well. Rabbit looked around confused.
“What is it, Lizzy?” Daniel asked kindly.