If You Only Knew

Chapter Twenty



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RAYNA TOOK THE stairs at a jog. She considered going right on by her room to Ty’s, then chickened out. He’d been distant during dinner, speaking quietly when spoken to and not meeting her gaze. In fact, everyone seemed tense and on edge—except for Maria and Madison.

Maria kept up a steady conversation with the little girl and her mother, and she even got Rayna involved on some of their topics. Madison was in the second grade and apparently it was Maria who helped her with schoolwork, for it was she who knew everything about the girl’s progress. Rayna wondered again why the woman’s son wasn’t with her. How difficult that must be… but it didn’t seem to bother her tonight. Maria was happier than Rayna had seen her since they arrived.

She thrust her door open and stepped across the threshold into the darkened room. The door fell shut behind her. A sound near the bed sent fear racing down her spine. She froze. Did someone wait there in the dark, or was it her imagination?

Andre’s dead-serious threat against her life rushed into her mind. Should she run or go for the forty-five she’d left on the stand beside the door?

Never one to run from trouble, she sidled toward the stand and felt for the cold metal of her handgun. It wasn’t there. She sucked in her breath and whirled in a half crouch as the bedside lamp flicked on, shedding a dim glow in a semicircle around the bed and revealing Ty stretched leisurely in the center of it, one arm behind his head.

“Ty?” She straightened and jammed her hands on her hips, her gaze boring into his. “What the hell are you doing?”

He grinned unapologetically. “Surprising you?” Propped comfortably against her pillows and the headboard, his hand rested on her Sig, next to him on the bed.

“You know I hate surprises. I might have shot you.”

“I had that possibility covered.” He gripped the weapon and placed it on her nightstand, an I’ve-thought-of-everything grin taking shape on his face. “Come here.” He patted the bed beside him, a smoldering invitation in his eyes.

She bit back the angry retort that surfaced, drawn in by his smile and his obvious pleasure to see her. How could she be upset with him when every nerve in her body waited for his next move?

Hands still resting on her hips, she took a couple of steps toward him. “Did it occur to you I might think you were Andre or one of his thugs?”

Ty flinched, and his confident grin disappeared. “Oh hell. I’m sorry, Rayna.” He swung his legs off the side of the bed, stood, and walked toward her.


The sincerity and regret in his apology completely disarmed her. Concern wrinkled his brow and was twice as hard to resist as his come-hither glances. Her stomach did a little somersault, and if she wasn’t careful, she was going to morph into a lump of putty in his hands.

When he reached her, she stretched out her hand to hold him at arm’s length.

Ty looked down at her hand, then studied her face. “You’re right—this was a bad idea. I didn’t mean to scare you, sweetheart.”

A small smile pulled at one corner of her mouth, and she let her hand drop away from him. “Why are you sitting in my room in the dark?”

Holding her gaze, he stepped closer. “We had a date. Remember? I had a feeling you might try to back out, and I guess I was right. Does this mean you’re still mad at me?”

The tender tone of his voice tugged at her emotions, and abruptly the remainder of her annoyance dissipated. She’d never been able to stay upset with him for very long—and he knew it and used it to his full advantage. He’d been her best friend, and she wanted that back—and more.

He took one final step, drew her snug against him, and gently kissed the corner of her mouth. “It’s okay. No pressure.”

He was always so patient—so understanding. The sadness in his eyes made her heart ache. She trailed her fingers down the side of his face until he turned his head and kissed her hand.

She’d waited too long already. “Actually, I haven’t changed my mind.”

“Yeah?” He chuckled as he pulled her close again. He bathed her in the warm glow of his boyish grin as he leaned in to kiss her lips.

In the middle of the kiss, Rayna remembered her last chore of the day. She pushed against him until he pulled back and regarded her curiously. “I need to go feed Ribs.”

“Uh-uh. Ribs can wait his turn.” Ty lifted her effortlessly and carried her to the bed, laying her gently on the blankets and lowering his body on top of hers.

His eyes, hovering so close over her, shone with desire. Before she could object, his mouth descended on hers again—warm, wet, and sensuous—and she lost track of what she’d been about to say.

Rayna had braced her arm against his chest to keep some distance between them, but without conscious thought, she crooked it around his neck and pulled him closer. Her fingers wound in his hair. His gentle kisses teased her lips apart, and when his tongue pushed inside, tasting of strawberry from the strawberry shortcake Maria had made for dessert, she welcomed the smoothness and heat of him.

His one free hand stroked her side, then pushed under her shirt and settled over her breast, alternately stroking and circling her nipple until it peaked and throbbed and she teetered on the edge with the sensations he unleashed within her. Then he moved to the other side and used his mouth to drive her wild with desire. She arched her hips into him, answering an overwhelming need to be closer.

Concentrating only on his touch and his kiss, it shocked her when he suddenly yanked her tank top over her head. Her bra was undone and off before she knew what had happened. Experience. That was the difference between them. She had none. Uncertainty made her hesitate. What if she disappointed him?

She tore her hand from his and pushed against him with both arms. “Wait—this is too fast. I need to tell you something.” When he raised his upper body slightly, she scooted out from under him, sitting straight up when she reached the headboard and couldn’t retreat any farther.

An eyebrow shot up and he crawled after her, curiosity stealing into his eyes. After tossing the pillows aside, he swung around to sit beside her, his back pressed against the headboard, and lifted her until she sat between his legs.

Rayna’s breathing came hard, and she was pretty sure it was panic, even though she realized how ridiculous that was. She wanted to tell him she knew how immature and childish she was being… that she was scared and didn’t know why… that she wanted to be with him. The words wouldn’t come, so she focused on slowing her wildly beating heart, a task made more difficult by the fact that she was naked from the waist up and his arms still wound around her. His eyes never left hers as she leaned self-consciously against one of his legs. His other leg curled around her, effectively trapping her in a circle of limbs.

Concern darkened his green eyes and echoed in his voice. His thumbs caressed her bare stomach. “Are you all right? Let’s just talk. Do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?”

Crap! Did he always have to be so kind… so perfect? She was a friggin’ basket case compared to him. Her cheeks caught fire as she searched for the right words. “It’s just… I… I should have told you. I’ve never…” Oh, good Lord. How did she tell him something so personal and old-fashioned? He’d think she was prehistoric. She tried to pull away from him, blood pounding in her ears.

He held her firmly. “You’ve never… what? We’re going to finish this conversation. There are only a couple of ways you could end that sentence that would make any difference to me, if that’s what you’re worried about. If you said you’ve never had any feelings for me, I guess that would be one. Or if you said you never want to see me again, I wouldn’t like it, but I’d understand. Short of that, though, I’m not letting you go this time. So, why don’t you tell me what you were going to say.”

“At least let me put my shirt back on.” Rayna felt far too vulnerable encased in his arms, surrounded by his muscular thighs. Her nakedness was the final straw.

He sat forward and snagged her shirt from the foot of the bed, pulled it over her head, and held it so she could get her arms in. Leaning toward her, he whispered kisses down her neck, “Tell me what you were going to say.”

Well, she’d have to tell him sooner or later. She definitely could have picked a better time—like months ago—but at least she had his full attention. Might as well put the big girl panties on and get it over with. She dropped her forehead against his chest, afraid for a moment she’d break out in a maniacal giggle. That would be all he’d need to convince him she was from another planet.

She took a deep breath. “I’ve never… been with a man before.”

A heartbeat of stillness told her he’d heard. Then he hugged her tighter and rained kisses on her ear. “You never cease to amaze me. That’s a precious gift. One that shouldn’t be given lightly. Are you sure about this?”

She peeked at him with one eye. No snarky laughter at her expense… no disgust changed the desire that shone clearly on his face. When she opened both eyes, he grinned, that boyish grin she loved. She wiggled and shoved to get her arms out of the tangle of his limbs, but he must have thought she’d run again because he tightened his grip.

She huffed an impatient breath. “Just… let… me… go for a minute.”

He backed off a little, and she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. When she pulled back and looked in his eyes, understanding and protectiveness wrapped around her, and something else—something she wanted very much to believe was more than lust.

“I’m afraid…” She choked before she got the rest of the words out.

“Not of me, I hope.” He tilted her chin and kissed her tenderly.

“That I’ll disappoint you.”

“That’s just plain crazy. Sometimes you turn me on just by walking in the room. Trust me, there’s no way you could ever disappoint me.” He swept her hair back off her cheeks and tightened his arms around her, drawing her closer.


She relaxed against his chest, wanting to believe him. A warm kiss landed on her forehead before he buried his face in the crook of her neck. The silence stretched and neither moved except for the rhythmic stroking of his fingers on her sides. He was letting her decide, not exerting any pressure. The simple courtesy put her at ease and reminded her of when they first met. She’d lost count of the number of times he simply held her while she had a meltdown over one trauma or another.

She tilted her head and met his gaze as she trailed her fingers over his five-o’clock shadow. “Are you for real, Ty Whitlock?”

A grin appeared. “Yes, ma’am. My momma raised a gentleman, and when you meet her, believe me, she’ll ask.” He caught her hand and raised it to his lips, kissing her palm.

Rayna leaned away from him and started to undo the buttons on his shirt.

He caught her hand again. “Be sure, Rayna.”

Her gaze darted to his eyes, still nervous… still expecting him to change his mind. “I am… if you are.”

“Hell, yes.” Ty pushed her away while he made short work of the rest of the buttons, ripped the shirt off, and tossed it on the floor. Then he laid her back on the bed while he held her gaze and gently undid the button and unzipped her jeans. “Lift up.”

She did her best while trying to keep from laughing at the comical expression on his face. He leaned back on his knees, grabbed the legs of her jeans, and removed them with one tug, revealing her new purple bikini underwear.

“Aw, hell. These are nice, but I was hoping for the thong.” He crawled up the bed beside her, slid his hand over her stomach and down to the narrow strip of fabric.

Rayna giggled. “Sorry. Walker picked these up for me this morning.”

“Am I the only one who doesn’t get to buy you underwear?” His voice was gruff, but his lips quirked with humor.

“Well, we could probably work something out.” She ran her fingers down his rib cage, stopping when he sucked in his breath.

Ty captured her hands and guided them around his neck, then stared intently into her eyes as, with deliberate slowness, he claimed her mouth again. His hand pushed beneath her shirt and teased the rigid peaks of her breasts. Over and over again, she moaned with the delicious sensations his touch evoked.

“Pull your shirt off.” Ty lifted off her just enough to allow her to whip the tank top over her head again. Then he settled down on her and took first one nipple and then the other into his mouth, sucking and licking, until the area between her legs was wet and aching.

She pulled his head up and kissed him. “I need you so much, Ty.”

He smiled. “That’s good to know, sweetheart.” He whispered the words against her mouth and then claimed her lips.

His hand slid slowly down her body until he met the fabric of her purple panties. He stroked her overtop of the panties a couple of times before he tugged the barrier down, slowly working them to her knees.

With her feet, Rayna took them the rest of the way off until she lay completely naked before him.

“Damn… woman… you are beautiful.” Ty’s smile made her heart skip a beat.

He parted her legs slightly and stroked the soft wetness between her legs. She arched into his hand when his fingers slid inside her. His mouth over hers silenced her gasp as wild sensations rolled over her. Subsequent moans suffered the same fate as he monopolized her lips and tongue. Oh yeah. The man could kiss, but what he did with his hands was a work of art.

When he moved from her mouth to her nipples, Rayna clamped down on her bottom lip to forestall the cries she felt escaping, and fisted her hands in the comforter until it was twisted as tightly as her stomach.

Ty’s eyes opened, hooded with desire, and he kissed her again, softly this time. Rolling off of her, he stood and removed the rest of his clothing. Digging his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans, he searched and found a foil-wrapped packet, opened it, and guided the condom on.

Rayna shoved onto her side and watched him curiously. Her gaze traveled the length of his well-muscled and well-endowed body until she reached his eyes, smoldering with heat that sent a shiver of anticipation through her.

Leaning over the bed, he kissed her knees and thighs, working his way to her stomach. Then he crawled on hands and knees up the bed, easing her thighs apart as he went.

“Next time we’ll go slower. I promise. It’s just… I’ve wanted you for a very long time.” He settled between her legs, the hard length of him pressed against her most private parts. His fingers worked into her hair and held her head while he dropped kisses on her eyes, lips, and nose. Then he rolled his hips back and rocked forward, pushing partway in. Patiently and gently, he thrust twice more until he was seated deeply within her.

She gasped at the slight pain, but the impression of fullness overrode any other feeling. When he stilled and remained tense, she wrapped her legs around him, opening herself up to him more, in an effort to get even closer.

He groaned as he settled deeper inside her. A wicked smile curved his lips as he studied her eyes. Slowly, he began to move his hips, pulling almost all the way out, then filling her completely again. Each thrust brought an explosion of sensation.

Her fingernails raked across his shoulders, and he flinched, smiling down into her face as he captured her hands again and twined his fingers with hers on the pillow beside her head. As the unrelenting rhythm continued, she lost all track of everything that didn’t center around the man joined with her. When the volcano erupted in her head, shattering her into a million pieces, she would have screamed for the entire world to hear, but he covered her mouth with his. As the spasms finally stopped, he released her hands and she folded them around his neck, intent on bringing him the same release she’d experienced. He thrust into her, faster and harder, urgency on his strained face. When his orgasm broke over him, he sank deep within her, linking her to him with the intensity of it.

She clung to him with arms and legs, sated and happier than she’d allowed herself to be for a long time, and slightly drunk on her newfound power. The moment he lifted his head, brushed the hair away from her cheeks, and kissed her, she had to know. “Was it okay?”

He pressed his forehead against hers and grinned lazily. “God, woman, you’re incredible.”

She smiled, relief and joy filling her. “That was absolutely amazing! Let’s do it again.”

Ty laughed and rolled off of her, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her back against him. “No question, but you’re going to have to give me a few minutes to recover.”

She glanced over her shoulder and he kissed her cheek before tightening his arms around her.

“I’ve wanted to fall asleep holding you, naked, in my arms, for the longest time.” His words moved the hair near her ear and tickled.

Suddenly she remembered Ribs. “Well, you’ll have to sleep by yourself for a few minutes. I have to go feed Ribs and let him in.”

“Aw, hell. I’ll go with you.”

“No, you stay here… and rest up.” She giggled as she rolled out of the bed and leaned over to place a kiss on his lips. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Ty didn’t look happy about it, but he lay back down. Rayna found her underwear on the floor and went into the bathroom to get cleaned up. When she came out, she hunted around for her jeans but gave up looking for her shirt and put Ty’s on instead, buttoning it partway. Something heavy flopped against her breast, and she patted the small, hard object in his shirt pocket. His cell phone—or rather, Mikhail’s phone.


He grinned at her when she turned toward him. “You look a hell of a lot better in that than I do.”

She laughed. “Just keep thinking those thoughts. I’ll be back in a jiff.” Sliding her feet into her sandals, she started from the room, then stopped and went back for her gun. She shoved it into the back waistband of her jeans before quietly closing the door behind her. She glanced at her watch, realizing she had no idea what time it was. Twelve thirty. The rest of the house looked dark. Hopefully, Ribs hadn’t wandered off to wherever it was he went when no one was around.

Rayna hurried downstairs to the kitchen. All the lights were out, but there must be someone about. The back door was open. She pushed through and called for Ribs, going for the bowl that held his last feeding of the day.

She stopped suddenly, unease settling over her. The dog lay on his blanket, but something was wrong. Why hadn’t he moved when she came outside? Walker had assured her his scratches were superficial. Was he injured internally and no one noticed? Anxiety enveloped her as she fumbled with the bowl, trying to set it down.

She took two steps toward Ribs before someone grabbed her from behind. Strong arms held hers down against her sides. She tried to scream, but a gloved hand pressed over her mouth. Her attacker seemed to know her next move before she got there, blocking each of her attempts to break free.

“Get over here, you imbecile.” The man who held her spoke low and swore under his breath.

Rayna recognized his voice. Sean Phillips, and apparently he wasn’t alone. Someone else moved behind her.

“Take the plastic ties out of my jacket and tie her hands.”

Rayna tried to shake her head, but the man tightened his grip so hard she thought he might break her neck.

Uncertain steps preceded the zip of plastic against nylon as the second person took the ties. Rayna’s heart sank when Maria stepped in front of her. The woman wouldn’t meet her eyes as she yanked Rayna’s hands together and tightened the plastic strip around them, then retreated out of her line of sight. Hands tied in front, there was no way to reach her gun stuck in the waistband of her jeans.

“You will let Marco go now?” The fear in Maria’s voice angered Rayna. Obviously, Sean had threatened her son to gain her cooperation. Where was Bree in all of this? Was this what she meant when she said she’d find another way to keep Madison safe?

“You’ll get Marco when I don’t need him anymore. Just keep your mouth shut. Now, soak that rag and get it over here.”

Rayna kicked backward and was rewarded with a pained grunt from Sean. It was a waste of time to try biting him—his gloves were too thick. Abruptly, her mouth was covered with a sickly sweet-smelling rag. If she lost consciousness, there’d be no more chances for her. Desperate to break free, she held her breath and squirmed with all her strength. It was useless. Nausea engulfed her. Her arms and legs were lead weights, and she couldn’t hold her head up. When she finally gulped the breath she needed, the dark of night faded slowly to a much more sinister black.