If You Only Knew

Chapter Eighteen



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WALKER INTERCEPTED RAYNA at the door after the meeting adjourned and walked out back with her. “I’ve got the things you wanted in the Jeep. Remind me never to volunteer to shop for the fairer sex again.”

She laughed at his frown that slowly faded to a teasing smile. “This is good for you. Anyway, Darcy would approve.” A moment of homesickness slammed into her at the memory of the petite redhead Walker met on his last assignment and brought back to Montana. The three of them—Darcy, Cara, and Rayna—had become instant friends, and she missed their shopping trips and late-night talks. Soon, though, she’d be back home with them. She couldn’t wait.

Walker handed her two bags of clothes and a smaller bag filled with shampoo, lotion, and other toiletries she’d had on her list. Then he pulled a small bottle from his jacket pocket and handed it to her. “Antibiotics for the dog. I thought I was going to have to steal them. The vet wasn’t excited about giving them out without examining the patient.”

“I thought you said he’d be all right?” Feeding and checking on Ribs was next on her list, but now her gaze flew to the deck.

“He’ll be sore for a few days, but he’ll be fine. The meds are a little added guarantee that the scratches won’t get infected. In addition to keeping the scratches clean, you’ll give him these pills twice a day until they’re gone.” Walker’s upper body disappeared inside the Jeep and came out with a large bag over one shoulder and a dog bowl in his hand. “Where do you want your dog food?”

Rayna impulsively planted a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks, Walker. Could you put it in the pantry, please? Nate won’t mind, will he?”

“Won’t mind what?” Nate walked up to them, a shovel balanced on one shoulder.

“Is it all right if I put the dog food in the pantry?”

“Sure. Damn dog’s practically moved in anyway,” Nate growled.

“Then you won’t mind if he sleeps in my room tonight? I’ll give him a bath first.” Rayna smiled hopefully, then turned to Walker. “It won’t hurt to bathe him, will it?”

Walker shook his head. “Cool water—no soap.”

“Shit. I’ve already lost this battle, haven’t I?” Nate looked to Walker for confirmation.

He just grinned. “Where are you headed with the shovel?” Walker turned toward the back door with the dog food bag propped casually on his shoulder.

“Got a couple of dead cats to bury before they attract more trouble.” He winked at Rayna.

“Hang on a minute. I’ll grab a shovel and tag along.” Walker strode toward the house with his burden.

Nate put the end of his shovel down and wrapped his hands around the handle. “Good to see you and Ty getting along.”

Rayna glanced toward the front of the house where Ty had disappeared with Bree. “You and I should talk sometime, Nate. I have a feeling I could learn a lot from you.”

“That you could, but I’m sworn to secrecy. It’s a guy thing.” Nate chuckled as he sauntered off toward the shed.

With a surprisingly light heart, Rayna rearranged the bags in her arms and followed Walker into the house. She liked Nate. He was clearly loyal to Ty—as he should be. In their line of work, they never knew when they’d need a friend willing to go through hell and back. That had been the hardest thing for her to learn when she joined Joe’s team. She’d been a loner, out for only one thing—revenge—and if Ty hadn’t taken it upon himself to train her, she would never have made the cut.

Supplied with clean clothes and familiar lotion, deodorant, and a new hairbrush, she couldn’t wait to take a nice long shower, but first, she had to feed Ribs and give him his medicine. The dog food bag was open, propped against the wall in the pantry, the bowl sitting nearby. She heaped it full, left her bags in the kitchen, and returned to the deck. Ribs lay in the same spot, curled up on the blanket Ty had given him. His simple act of kindness to the dog made her remember what had attracted her to Ty in the first place.

Her heart swelled with longing as all the ways he’d made her feel special over the last year came flooding back. Putting his jacket around her shoulders when she got chilled on a late night walk around the lake. Holding her until she fell asleep, tears for her brother still wet on her cheeks. If she needed something, he often knew what it was before she did. Her stomach tingled with excitement at the prospect of seeing him later.

The dog’s skin was crisscrossed with angry red scratches. A couple of them were deeper than the rest and still seeped a little blood, but he looked amazingly well, considering his close call. Goose bumps rippled over her skin.


Apparently, the dog’s nose hadn’t suffered any lasting trauma. He scrambled to his feet and walked stiffly toward her, snuffling with interest at the huge bowl full of food she held in her hands. Rayna set it on the patio table, took one of the antibiotic tablets from the bottle Walker had given her, and dropped it into Ribs’s dish. Hopefully, he wouldn’t discriminate against the chalky, white pill.

“You’re not going to feed him all of that, are you?”

She swung around at Ty’s voice. He was sitting in one of the patio chairs behind her.

“Why not? He doesn’t have to worry about his waistline.”

“Cute.”

Her gaze flickered over him. His long legs stretched out in front of him and arms crossed over his chest emphasized the well-defined muscles beneath his shirt. Blond locks of hair lay within reach of his collar and a two-day stubble peppered his face. A warm breath of air seemed to heat her skin as she fought the temptation to run her hands through his hair.

Ty stood, jerking her from her trance as he walked toward her and took the bowl from her hand. “How long do you suppose it’s been since he had a meal that big? He’s been on a diet of field mice and whatever scraps he could steal from Nate. You’ll make him sick if you give him too much all at once.” He held the bowl out and led Ribs back to his bed, then poured out about a third of its contents onto the blanket, making sure the little white pill was front and center. The dog wolfed everything down in a matter of seconds and stared eagerly at Ty for more.

Rayna laughed. “I see what you mean, but now what? He looks like he might just eat your arm if you don’t give him more.”

“You could be right.” Ty’s eyes sparkled with amusement as he set the bowl on the patio table, then pushed it toward the center as though he thought that would keep Ribs from reaching it.

Another laugh burst from Rayna, which she unsuccessfully tried to stifle when he turned slowly to face her, a grin lighting his eyes. He captured her waist and pulled her against him. Her breath caught as one hand pushed under her shirt and stroked her stomach. When his lips met hers, a moan escaped, and it was everything she could do not to melt at his feet. Like she was seeing the man for the first time, a tingle shot through her.

His touch had never been this intoxicating before. Was he somehow different? She pressed herself against him, her arms firmly locked around his neck. Her gaze held his as he tenderly kissed both cheeks, her nose, and her lips. He was the same as he always had been. It was she who was different—finally able to acknowledge her feelings for Ty.

“I heard a rumor the dog is spending the night in the house.” Ty leaned back and cocked an eyebrow.

“True.” She watched him curiously. “Do you have a problem with that?”

He leaned close to her ear. “Well, if he’s staying in my room, he’s getting a bath first.”

She scrunched her nose and made a face. “Who said he was staying in your room?”

Ty cinched his arms tighter around her waist. “I just assumed you’d want him with you… and since you’ll be in my room…” He nuzzled her neck.

A shiver broke over Rayna, and she snuggled into his arms. “I think I’ll get busy and bathe this dog.” Her words were only a whisper.

He let his breath out slowly. “Oh, thank God. For a minute there I thought I was going to lose out to that mangy critter.”

Rayna sighed in exasperation. “He’s not mangy.”

He kissed her lingeringly.

“Okay, he might be a little mangy.” She looked at Ty and smiled.

He raised an eyebrow as though doubting her sanity. “That dog smells like he’s been rolling in dead fish—but luckily, I’m here to give you a hand… if you want me, that is.”

“Oh, I want you.” She rose on her tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss as desire flared in his eyes. Grinning, she pushed away from him.

Ty found a hose and hooked it to the water supply in the utility room so they’d have cool water with which to bathe the dog. An hour later, all three of them were soaking wet, and Rayna’s cheeks ached from laughing. Ribs smelled like a wet dog, which was only a small improvement over his former condition, but she had hopes air-drying in the sun would provide a favorable outcome. There was no help for her, though. She needed that shower worse than ever now.

Ty unhooked the hose and coiled it next to the deck as she gathered up the wet towels they’d used on Ribs. When she turned to face Ty, he studied her, humor reflected in his eyes.

“What?” She felt strangely nervous under his perusal.

“You’re gorgeous.” His soft words tugged at her heart and sent a burst of heat through her body.

“That’s sweet, but have you looked at me?” She gestured toward her clothes.

His gaze wandered slowly down her body. “Yes, ma’am, I have, and I like what I see.”

Oh… how cute was he? And romantic, and sexy… and if she didn’t get out of here now, she was going to do something she’d regret. “Um… I need a very hot shower.”

“Want some company?” The slight tremble in his voice told her he wasn’t immune to the moment and whatever was happening between them, either.

She held his gaze for as long as she could before she turned her head away. “I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

He pulled her chin around and searched her eyes. “No pressure. You know that—right?”

She traced a hand down his stubbled cheek. “I know you’ve always given me exactly what I need. It’s time I give back a little.”

His crooked grin and flashing green eyes gently caressed her as he placed a hand on each side of her face. He kissed her softly, again and again, then cleared his throat and grabbed the dog bowl from the table. Stepping to Ribs’s blanket, he poured out half of what food remained.

“Give him the rest before you let him in tonight.” He handed her the bowl and stroked her cheek tenderly, then crossed the deck and disappeared into the house.

Ribs cleaned up every morsel and sniffed around for more before he curled up on the blanket again.

The warmth of Ty’s touch still tingled on her skin as Rayna made her way upstairs. Anticipation swirled in her stomach, making her practically giddy. Her heart raced at the prospect of staying with him tonight. Nerves jumbled as the words to tell him she was a virgin whirled and spun in her head. Would it be better not to tell him? Maybe he wouldn’t notice. Yeah, right! If Charlie were here, she’d give him a good kick for convincing her to save herself for the right man. Maybe someday she’d thank him, but it wouldn’t be today.

She needed Ty… so much it scared her. What if he meant what he said about leaving Joe’s? She shoved that thought aside. He’d stay—she had to believe that.

She laid out a pair of black pants and a white tank top from the things Walker had bought for her. Her smile came unbidden at the thought of him picking out bikini underwear in several different colors with bras to match. He didn’t have bad taste for a guy. At least he didn’t buy her thongs. Poor Nate. He’d never live that down.

She undressed as the shower ran and steamed up the bathroom. Then she stepped under the water and drew a long, slow breath, relaxing for the first time since before Andre had showed up at her door.

Was it really only mid-afternoon? So much had happened since this morning. She shuddered with the memory of Ribs locked in combat with the cougar, the sound of Ty’s voice, and his strong arms holding her when the cougar lay dead at their feet. Everything had happened so fast, she hadn’t thought it through. Shooting the cats was the easy part. It was the emotional toll of the terrifying encounter, of Ribs attacking and being shaken off like a rag doll, and of the large cougar springing through the air toward her that made her weak in the knees and grateful that Ty had come looking for her. Thankfully, she’d never find out what would have happened if Ty and Ribs hadn’t been there.


Leisurely, she soaped a washcloth and scoured every inch of her skin, then used a razor she found in the medicine cabinet on her legs, sure Nate would cuss her out for it later. After the soap rinsed away, she let the water pour over her head, then lathered up with shampoo and scrubbed until she finally felt clean again.

A feeling of decadence settled over her when she realized how long she’d spent primping, as Charlie used to say. A distant ache reverberated through her when she grasped the fact she hadn’t given her brother more than a passing thought since the walk back from the barn. The loss and emptiness returned full-force. She’d never forget him, but for the first time since he died, she allowed herself to hope for her own happiness. With Ty.

Living without him was merely an existence. Why had it taken her so long to figure it out? She’d done her best to push him away—had almost succeeded. If not for Andre, Ty would have disappeared from her life and she would never have seen him again. Oh no. No way was that creep getting the credit for her happiness.

Rayna towel-dried, dressed, and blow-dried her hair into a mass of curls. Then she stepped into a new pair of two-inch sandals and headed for the door. As her hand touched the knob, a knock sounded from the other side.

Did Ty get tired of waiting? She swung the door open eagerly, a smile forming until her gaze took in the serious expression on Bree’s drawn face.

The woman glanced nervously up and down the hallway. “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure.” Rayna stepped back and held the door open.

Bree hurried into the room and turned to face her. “I need your help.”

“What’s wrong?”

Pacing anxiously, Bree’s gaze darted from Rayna to the door and back again. “They don’t understand. Ty and the others—they think there’s some way out of this without ending Andre’s life. I’m telling you there isn’t. He’s after Madison, and I won’t take a chance with her life. The only thing that will stop him is a bullet. I will stop him this time, but I need your help.”

In spite of a lingering distrust of the woman, Rayna’s heart went out to her. She couldn’t imagine what it was like to have her seven-year-old daughter’s life threatened and be virtually powerless to protect her. No wonder Bree was on the verge of losing it.

Rayna gestured to the one chair in the room and waited for Bree to sit. “You can trust Ty. He and the others know what they’re doing. If anyone can help you keep Madison safe, it’s them.”

Bree laughed coarsely. “Safe? She won’t be safe until Andre is dead. I should know. I put him away seven years ago, and he killed my husband just to prove he could. Do you have any idea what that felt like…” Her voice broke.

Rayna released her breath slowly. “Actually, I lost my brother recently. He was murdered.”

Bree’s gaze settled on her. “I’m sorry. So, tell me—if there’d been anything you could have done to save him… maybe something a bit outside the law… where would you draw the line?”

When Charlie died, Rayna had gone into a crazed, vengeful state of mind. She’d even attacked Cara, simply because Cara’s brother was the man who’d tortured and murdered Charlie. Deep in her heart, she realized the truth of what Bree was saying. There wasn’t anything Rayna would have refused to do, and heaven help anyone who might have gotten in her way.

She stared silently at Bree, afraid that by admitting her own bloodlust she’d be drawn into Bree’s plan of revenge.

Bree nodded, obviously reading the answer in Rayna’s eyes. “It’s too late for your brother, but not for Madison. Help us.” Her gaze locked on Rayna, eyes pleading.

Rayna’s heart broke for the despair painted on Bree’s face. The woman was hurting and scared. If only there was something Rayna could do to help her… but she truly believed their best bet was to let Ty and Joe handle things.

“Ty thinks the world of Madison. He’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she’s safe. You need to level with him.” Rayna sat on the edge of the bed across from Bree.

For a moment, it looked as though she’d lose her battle against the tears that threatened, but then Bree smiled. “He’s always loved Madison. I think he packed her around more than I did during the time we spent together. I’m sure that’s the real reason he asked me to marry him after he quit the force.”

Ty asked Bree to marry him? The revelation slammed into Rayna, sending all the air from her lungs in a whoosh. He’d told her his relationship with Bree wasn’t like that. What the hell was it like, then? Resentment stirred. He’d looked her in the face and lied.

“Uh-oh. I guess he didn’t tell you. You have nothing to worry about, Rayna. He wasn’t in love with me. It would have been strictly a marriage of convenience on his part. He just wanted to keep Madison and me safe and saw that as the best way to make it happen. I said no. Who knows? We might have actually made it work, but I wasn’t willing to settle. That came much later. I should have said no then too.”

Rayna’s heart ached with the sudden emptiness created by Ty’s dishonesty. As much as she wanted Bree’s revelation to roll off her back, leaving her unaffected, it devastated her. Except for a one-word refusal, Ty would be married to this woman now, raising a little girl and possibly other children. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, determined not to lose it in front of Bree.

What reason would he have for lying unless Bree still meant something to him?

She’d always trusted Ty, and he’d never given her cause to be suspicious of him. On the other hand, Bree was a stranger with an obvious agenda of her own. Rayna owed it to Ty to give him the benefit of the doubt. She drew herself up straight and forced a cheerful smile. “That’s Ty. Always looking for a way to help people. I’m sure he cared about you, but now you have Sean. It must be a relief to have someone to lean on.”

Anger sparked for a fraction of a second in Bree’s expression before the shutter closed. A smile appeared but didn’t extend to her eyes. “Sean is very protective of us, but he’s never been a father to Madison. She needs a father. Anyway, he’s not here now.” Bree waved her hand as though dismissing the idea. “I just need to convince Ty there’s only one way to deal with Andre. Will you help me?”

“I’ll do what I can, but Ty, Joe, and Walker are my family. I’m not going to push them to commit murder if there’s another way to stop the man.”

“That’s just it. If you’d been through what I have, you’d know there’s no other way.” Bree popped to her feet and stepped to the door, her jaw set determinedly as she reached for the doorknob. “I found out what I needed to know. I’ll think of another way to keep my daughter alive.” Bree glared at Rayna, and her scowl was intimidating… almost threatening. “I thought you might understand, but then, you don’t have children, do you?” The next instant she flagged her hand in dismissal and a shallow smile replaced the scowl. “I’m sure everything will work out just fine. Sorry to bother you.” She opened the door and stepped from the room.

Rayna closed the door, relieved to have the Jekyll-and-Hyde personality out of her room. She was left with tightness in her diaphragm that hurt when she breathed. Gone was her joyful anticipation, replaced by suspicion and questions she wasn’t sure she wanted the answers to. If she confronted Ty, could she trust his answers this time?


She wouldn’t hide in her room. That wasn’t her style. Nate was probably preparing dinner. If she got him alone, maybe she’d find a way to work some of her questions into the conversation.

A moment’s guilt made her pause. Was it fair to bypass Ty and go to Nate? Did she really care about being fair right now? Hurt and disappointed, she still reeled from the bomb Bree had dropped. If she went straight to Ty, she’d likely end up saying something she couldn’t take back. Anyway, all she wanted Nate to do was confirm what Bree told her. She wouldn’t ask him to rat out his friend. He’d been there when Ty and Bree met six years ago. It was obvious he didn’t like or trust Bree. Rayna thought it had to do with Ty leaving the force, but maybe there was more to it than that.

She flung open her door and went in search of Ty’s partner.