Hometown Star

chapter Nineteen

Cramps woke Star. The kind of cramps that could only mean one thing—she had her period. Yet, she didn’t move, not right away.

Beside her, Cade slept and having him in bed with her made a reality of every fantasy she’d ever had. The morning light played over his features, and she resisted the urge to touch the delicate skin above his upper lip, trace his cheek, kiss his mouth.

Last night had been magical. Cade’s tenderness with her tugged on her heartstrings, making her wish things were different for them.

Star rolled over and looked her fill of him. Boy, was she going to miss him when she left, but leaving was the right thing to do. She truly believed that. She’d worked long and hard for this promotion. No person in her right mind would give up an opportunity like this. Cade stirred, rolling over, away from her. Star sat up. When Cade didn’t move, she got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. She shut the door behind her, but didn’t push it all the way closed, not wanting to risk waking Cade. She sat on the toilet and checked for signs of her period, but she didn’t see anything. Not yet, but maybe later today.

“Star?”

“Just a minute. I’m using the bathroom.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Star finished up. She flushed the toilet, then washed up at the sink.

When she exited the bathroom, Cade was sitting on the edge of the bed. He rose, then went into the bathroom and shut the door.

Star got back into bed, wondering if they had time for a little morning sex before the crew arrived. She smiled. Waking up with Cade was fun. The toilet flushed. Water ran, for a long time. How long did it take for Cade to wash his hands? She glanced at the clock. They were wasting precious time.

The door opened, and Cade made his way to the bed. He sat down on the edge and said, “We need to talk.”

Serious worry lines creased his forehead. Star rolled to her back, not wanting to have another conversation about her career or a possible pregnancy right now. She felt too good, too relieved, too sated.

Cade looked at her. “I’d feel better if you took a pregnancy test. Enough time has passed, right? I’ve done the calculations. The possible pregnancy is like an elephant between us. I want to know, don’t you?”

She nodded, resigning herself to the conversation. “I have cramps. I’m sure my period is about to start.”

“But if it doesn’t start today? Come on, Star, I have a stake in this, too.” Cade’s jaw tightened. “I’d like to know for sure before you leave.”

“Okay,” she said, seeing no way around his request. “If I don’t have my period by the end of today, I’ll get a test. Will that work for you?”

He nodded.

Outside, car doors slammed. The crew was beginning to arrive. Darn. No morning sex.

“Time for work,” Star said with regret.

“Yeah,” Cade agreed, moving aside so she could get up.

* * *

Star set the pregnancy test kit on the coffee table.

Day five of the renovation was over. The crew was gone for the day. The kids, Ron, Trudy, and Daniel were staying in town again tonight.

And Cade was nowhere in sight.

Star took a seat on the couch. So far, no period, and worse, her cramps had stopped. She hated to admit it, but she was starting to freak out. No way did she want a baby, not even with Cade. She refused to let her mind wander down the path to parenthood. She simply couldn’t go there.

Where the heck was Cade? She wanted to take the test with him, wanted to include him.

The sound of an approaching vehicle pulled Star from the couch. She went to the front door and opened it.

Cade slammed the truck door and walked toward her. He waved when he saw her. As usual, her heart sped up at the sight of him. Her hand went to her stomach. Did she carry his baby? If she did, she had some hard decisions to make.

“Hi,” she said when he was close enough to hear her.

He came up the steps. “Did you get your period?”

She frowned. “It’s nice to see you, too,” she said sarcastically. She didn’t even know if she was pregnant, and she already felt like the baby was coming between them.

“Sorry,” he offered. “I’m wound up, you know?”

“I know.” She went inside. He followed. Star pointed to the coffee table, to the test kit. “Come with me while I take it.”

Cade took her hand, giving her fingers a light squeeze of encouragement. “Let’s go.”

Star retrieved the test and hand in hand they went upstairs. In the bathroom, she sat on the toilet and took the stick from the box. Cade sat down on the rim of the tub.

She couldn’t pee.

“Could you turn around or something?” she asked. “Shy bladder.”

“Fine.”

Cade stood and gave her his back.

Star peed on the stick. She carefully set the stick on the counter before fastening her pants.

Cade had already turned around. “How long does it take?”

“It’s supposed to be pretty fast.”

Cade looked at his watch.

Star was afraid to look at the test.

For a full minute they stood there, three feet apart, not moving, the tension between them as thick as spring mud.

“I can’t stand it.” Cade peered at the stick. “There’s a line.”

Star leaned in. “A line means not pregnant.”

Cade straightened. “That should make you a very happy woman.”

Star smiled, sweet relief filling her. “If it’s true. Let’s give it ten minutes.”

“Okay.”

For ten minutes they barely spoke. When Cade said, “Time,” Star picked up the stick. Not pregnant. She held the stick out to Cade.

“Whew, that’s a relief,” Cade said.

“You seem more relieved than I do,” Star said, melancholy settling inside her. She should be rejoicing. They should be celebrating. After all, it was their last night together.

“Maybe I am,” Cade said. “I wasn’t looking forward to raising a baby on my own.”

“Oh,” Star said, oddly bereft. “That makes sense.”

“Are you okay?” Cade touched her face, rubbing his thumb against her cheek. “This is what you wanted, right?”

“Right,” she said a bit too quickly.

“You can leave here free and clear,” Cade reminded her. “Unless of course, you want to change your mind. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to have you in my life.”

Star’s heart melted. She didn’t deserve him. “I wish I could be the woman you want,” she said, his kindness torturing her. “But I can’t.”

“I love you,” Cade said, the words hanging in the air between them.

“Love isn’t enough,” Star replied sadly. “Not for me.”

“So this is it? We’re going to end things now?” Cade asked, a hitch in his voice. “Is that what you really want, Star?”

Star turned away from him. She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear to see the pain in his eyes. “I think it’s best.”

He didn’t reply. When she gathered the courage to turn and face him, he was gone. A few seconds later, his truck roared to life.

An unbearable ache formed in Star’s chest. She had nothing to apologize for or feel guilty about. Nothing. She’d always been honest with Cade.

So why did it hurt to breathe, to think?

She knew the answer. She’d never be the same because Cade had managed to touch her heart in a way she’d never thought possible.

The problem was she was too scared to love him back.

* * *

The following afternoon, Cade found himself in the kitchen, a kitchen that would forever remind him of Star. His gut ached when he thought of the way he’d left things between them, but their breakup was for the best. They’d never see eye to eye when it came to family. Star was too messed up inside.

Yet, she’d left her stamp both in his kitchen and on his heart. The crew was gone. There were no cameras. No chatty talk show host to deal with. Most importantly, Star was gone, and as much as he hated to admit it, she’d left a hole in his life. Damn. He regretted walking away last night. If he’d gone back to her, could he have persuaded her to stay, to give their relationship another try? Probably not. The only one who could make things work between them was Star. She had to accept him for what he was, both a lover and a father. He was scared of making the wrong choices, too, but he knew with certainty that Star was worth the risk. Until Star was willing to take a risk of her own, they had no future.

Trudy and Ron came into the room. His sister–in–law’s face lit up as she looked around.

“I love it, I love it, I love it,” Trudy gushed. She twirled in a circle. “I can’t get enough of this room. It smells new. And look at the granite.” Trudy ran her hand over the smooth black counter top.

Trudy was right. The new kitchen gleamed. The black and white floor was so clean you could eat off of it. The white walls made the room seem twice as bright, and Cade had to admit the red accent wall really did pull the whole room together.

“It really is beautiful,” Ron said, exchanging grins with his wife. “What do you think, Cade?”

“I’m glad it’s over.”

Trudy’s face fell. “Do you want to talk about Star?”

“No.” Cade made his way to the back door and let himself out.

“Cade, wait,” Trudy called.

The screen door banged shut behind him. He didn’t want to talk about Star with anybody. He couldn’t. He loved her too much.

Cade sank down on the steps, his head in his hands. He loved her.

He wanted all of her. He didn’t want a part–time wife, or a part–time mother for his kids. He didn’t want a woman who freaked out at the thought of having his child. He didn’t want that kind of woman at all, but that was the woman he’d fallen in love with. What the heck was he supposed to do about that?

Nothing. Nada. Zip. He’d done it. He’d let her go.

There was no future for them. All he had left was the bright, shiny kitchen, a glaring reminder of their time together.

And a red wall that symbolized his broken heart.

* * *

Star let herself into her condo. She was home. Home. She paused, inhaling deeply, disappointed that the new smells didn’t smell quite so new anymore.

She set her bag down and went to her phone. The message light blinked. One missed call. Her heart sped up. Hoping against hope the call was from Cade, she pressed the button.

“Star, it’s me,” Destiny’s voice sang out. “Guess who got married?” Her mother laughed. “That’s right, it’s me. John and I got married yesterday, just a small ceremony in his backyard. I wanted to invite you girls, but, well, we were just impulsive, no time to plan. I got my man, honey. Just as soon as I’m settled, I want you and your sisters to come up and help us celebrate. Be a love and call your sisters for me and give them the news. Bye, sweetie.”

The line went dead.

Disgusted, her stomach churning, Star picked up the phone to call Brandi but immediately changed her mind. She wasn’t going to be her mother’s messenger. She didn’t want to field all the questions, didn’t want to analyze Destiny and her warped sense of romance.

Right now, she wanted to lick her own wounds.

Star curled up on her bed, missing Cade. She’d botched things up with him. He probably hated her now, and it was her own fault. She finally fell asleep around midnight, her dreams wild and terrifying. Babies floated through her nightmares, crying, reaching for her.

Star woke with a start, her body drenched in sweat.

She got up and went to the bathroom.

She sat on the toilet, and that’s when she noticed.

She had her period.

No baby. She pressed a hand to her womb, her empty womb. Everything was okay. She was okay. Her life was perfect, right?

Calmer now, she went back to bed, but she didn’t sleep, not for a long, long time.