Hometown Star

chapter Fifteen

“This house is begging for Update This!” Vivienne said as she scanned the O’Brien kitchen.

“I know,” Star agreed as she put away the last of the silverware. Dinner had taken forever. She’d been unable to eat after her encounter with Cade, her stomach too tight in anticipation of the evening yet to come.

Star and Vivienne stood together in Cade’s kitchen, and Star looked at the room with a designer’s eyes. The linoleum was worn, the counter tops dated, the sink stained and well used. “Too bad we don’t have time for one more room.” She smiled. “Not that Cade would let us do it. He likes the place the way it is. He’s not big into change.”

“Maybe he could be persuaded, yes?” Vivienne asked with a cat–like smile. “I saw the way he was looking at you at dinner. Ooh la la.”

Star shook her head. “Why are you here so early anyway?” She folded the dishtowel and hung it on the bar near the sink.

“I promised Evan I would fly in for a final sit down before we begin taping. He had some concerns I want to address in person.”

“He didn’t mention any concerns to me,” Star said. “He seemed to love everything you’ve suggested, even that wicked saw blade above the bed.”

“Oh, that. Nothing like a little danger in the bedroom.” She laughed. “Seriously, we’ve been talking via email and telephone. Anyway, I’m here now. He’s expecting me in the morning.”

“I’ll take you over.”

Vivienne waved her hand. “No, no. He’s picking me up at nine a.m. sharp.”

Star’s eyes narrowed on the designer. “What’s really going on?”

“Nothing,” Vivienne said too quickly. “I told you. He has concerns. Frank wants me to hold his hand.”

“That’s my job,” Star said. “And I’ve done it. Give it up.”

“Oh, all right.” Vivienne sighed. “Evan invited me up early. We’ve developed a long distance relationship. You’ve seen him, Star. He is magnificent. He invited me to see the sights.”

“And Frank’s okay with this?” Star asked, still skeptical.

“I didn’t exactly tell him,” Vivienne said. “We wrapped up the shoot in Fairbanks and I took a detour here.”

“I see.”

“Don’t be mad.” Vivienne pursed her full lips. “I know what I’m doing, Star.”

Star shrugged. “Okay.”

Cade and the Texans came into the kitchen, halting their conversation.

“We’re going to call it a night,” Hank said. “Five a.m. comes early.”

Jack tipped his head. “Thanks for everything, Cade. Good night, ladies.”

“Good night,” Star said.

“Bonne nuit! Hank, Jack.” Vivienne blew them a kiss.

“Bonne nuit!” the men echoed, their Texas twangs totally obliterating the beautiful French words for good night. The men headed upstairs.

“I’m going to bed, too.” Vivienne yawned. “Thank you for a wonderful meal.” She kissed Star’s cheek. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“I hope so,” Star said.

“Good night, Vivienne,” Cade said.

Vivienne waved. “See you in the morning, you two. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Alone at last,” Cade said when the designer was gone. He reached for Star.

Star stepped into his arms as if it were the most natural thing in the world, her hands sliding up his toned back. “You feel good, O’Brien.”

He grinned. “Baby, you haven’t felt anything yet.”

Star laughed. Cade’s lips brushed against hers. Her heart sped up. She wanted this, wanted him.

The phone rang, the bell cutting the sexual tension between them.

“It might be Ron.” Cade reached around Star, and picked up the call. “Hello?” He smiled. “Congratulations, Ron. A boy. That’s great news. Is Trudy okay?” Cade listened, a smile on his face. “Well, get some rest. Yes, Finn’s fine, everyone’s fine. The guests just went up for the night.” A pause. “No, don’t worry about tomorrow, I’ve got it covered. Star’s offered to stay here with the kids.” Cade’s eyes caressed her. “Yeah, she’s great and the kids love her.”

Again with the kids. Star really did hope he wasn’t getting the wrong idea.

“Okay. Good night.” Cade hung up the phone.

“A boy,” Star said.

“Six pounds, six ounces.”

“Wow.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with helping out tomorrow?” Cade asked. “The kids can really be a handful.”

“I’m a great babysitter,” Star said. “Believe me; I’ve had years of experience.”

“You only have four nights left here,” Cade said, as if she weren’t fully aware.

“I know.”

His arms circled her again. “Spend them with me, Star.”

She wanted to. Big time. “How? The kids are here.”

“I know.” He touched his forehead to hers. “At least stay with me, keep me company. I’ll figure out a way for us to be alone.”

Star lifted her mouth to his, kissing him. Cade deepened the kiss. About to lose herself completely to him, to the hard feel of his body against hers, to the erotic warmth of his mouth, she broke the kiss, fighting to get her bearings.

“Where’s Brad?” she asked.

“He left after dinner. Went to town to see a movie with Tyler and his parents.”

“What happened to the grounding?”

Cade smiled. “I was hoping to get lucky. Sue me. I’m a bad parent.” He kissed her again.

“And the twins?” she asked.

“Are asleep.” He kissed her forehead, her cheek, her neck. Her thoughts scattered. Desire beat a wild rhythm through

her veins. She didn’t want to stop him. She drowned in sensation, her limbs turning to mush.

They kissed their way to the family room, to the couch. Together, they sank into the softness. Cade’s hands roamed freely under her T–shirt, as if he were trying to memorize every inch of her. Her bra unhooked. His hands closed over her breasts. Star’s nipples hardened as they pressed into his palms. His fingers found the button on her shorts.

“Cade,” she rasped. “We shouldn’t. Not here.”

“I just want to touch you. I’ll keep your clothes on.”

It were as if they were teenagers, sneaking around, afraid to be caught. “The kids,” Star reminded him.

“Are asleep.”

“The guests,” she said faintly.

Cade left her and closed the door on the family room, twisting the lock. “Okay?”

“Okay,” she said, making room for him on the couch.

His hand slipped under the waistband of her shorts, inside the lace of her panties. He cupped her, and Star couldn’t help it, a soft moan left her lips. Before she could feel embarrassed, his fingers moved lower, touching her, stroking her, the sensation unlike anything she’d ever felt before.

His mouth drifted to her neck, kissed the hollow at the base of her throat. Star let her leg fall to the side, giving him greater access, and he took it. He played her like an expert, and then it happened...something inside of Star shifted. She went weightless, a spiral of lust vibrated through her, took her away, left her gasping.

Stunned by the sensation, she couldn’t speak or move. Her entire body came alive in a way she couldn’t put to words.

Cade shifted, moving so he was full on top of her. She could feel his erection through her shorts as he pressed against her sensitive area.

“Cade, did I—” She broke off, embarrassed.

“Yes,” he whispered against her mouth. “Now I want my turn.”

“But,” she protested weakly.

“Quit worrying.”

He pulled her clothes off, and Star let him. She was way past the stopping point. She didn’t care anymore, didn’t care if Brad walked in or the kids woke, she just wanted him inside her.

Quickly, Cade rolled on a condom.

And it was different this time. She arched, ready for him.

“Show me what to do,” she said, wanting to please him.

“Meet me.” He demonstrated, using his hands to guide her.

Star caught on quickly. Her fingers dug into his back and she held on. She focused on a myriad of sensations. This time, she knew what to expect and she let the friction lure her back into an orgasm, and when it happened, Cade came with her, moaning deep in his throat.

She became every cliché she’d ever read about. She floated on air. The earth moved. Her skin tingled. Clichés, all, but she experienced every one of them.

“Uh, oh,” Cade said.

“What?” Star asked, not wanting to talk or move. She just wanted to be.

“The condom,” he said. “It broke.”

“What?” Star stared at him, sure she’d heard him wrong. “What do you mean it broke?”

Cade shifted, showing her the torn condom. “Don’t worry. You said you didn’t think you could get pregnant this time of the month, right?”

They separated. Star glanced around, looking for her clothes. “Right. No. I don’t know. What should I do? I can’t get pregnant.”

“Shower?” Cade suggested.

“I need to go.” Star began to dress. Her stomach churned. This was her fault. She should have used double birth control, triple. What was she thinking?

“Hey,” Cade said, touching her arm. “It’s okay. No matter what, it’ll be okay.”

Star looked at him as if he were crazy. “It’s not okay,” she said on her way to the door. “You don’t understand. I can’t be pregnant.”

“Don’t go.”

“I have to.” Star ran from the room.

“Star,” Cade called.

Star didn’t stop, she just kept running.

* * *

Cade yanked his clothes on, all the while unable to believe his bad luck. A broken condom. Man. And there’d been no mistaking the panic on Star’s face. She really did not want kids. Period.

Dressed, Cade took off after Star, finding her on the porch.

When she saw him, she said, “Go away. Please.” Her eyes had a glassy look, as if she’d been crying.

Cade ignored her and sat down beside her. “You’re overreacting. I’m sure everything’s fine. It was a small tear.”

“I can’t be pregnant.” She shook her head, then looked at him. “I don’t want children, Cade. Ever.”

He took her words like a kick to the gut.

“I had a terrible childhood,” she said sadly. “My mother’s been married five times. I’ve lived with four stepfathers, including one who thought he’d take a try at me.”

“What?” Cade said, struggling to grasp all she told him. “Star.”

“Don’t worry,” she said quickly. “Obviously, he didn’t get anywhere. My mother happened to come home. She divorced him, pronto.”

Relief filled Cade. “Thank God.”

“I raised my sisters,” Star said. “When we lived with my mom, I was the mother. I know how it feels when a child gets hurt or sick. I know that responsibility.” She put her hand over her heart. “You got a look firsthand look at my mother today. She’s a train wreck. She left all the time when we were small. Then we’d wind up with Patsy.”

“Okay,” Cade said. “But you were a child yourself. You’re a woman now. You’re better equipped to deal with a child.”

“I’m not,” she said sadly. “I’m emotionally stunted. Used up. I don’t want a child. I don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s children, even yours.”

“You’re selling yourself short,” Cade said. “You did a great job with your sisters.”

She laughed, the sound manic. “I did not. Ruby Sue got pregnant when she was fifteen, remember? And Tawney is a dancer in a topless show. Where’s her self–esteem? It’s in the toilet.”

“Come on,” Cade said. “You did the best you could. The real blame needs to go to your mother.”

“Maybe.”

“So when you were here, in Seward, what was that like for you?” Cade asked, wanting to understand her.

She smiled softly. “Wonderful. Patsy took care of all of us, including me. I didn’t have to be the mother.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I loved her so much. I used to wish she was my mother.”

Cade’s stomach flipped as the full weight of his actions toward Star hit him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t get it, any of it. I must have been your worst nightmare when you were a kid.” He’d bullied a little girl who’d already taken so many hard knocks. It was like he’d kicked a puppy, or worse.

She looked at him. “So you understand why I’m so freaked out? I don’t want to be a mother. It’s just not in the cards for me.”

“And if you are pregnant?” Cade asked, afraid to hear the answer.

“I can’t think about that.” Star rose. “It’s late. I’m going home.”

“Star.”

“Go inside to your kids, O’Brien.”

She walked away, leaving him to stare after her, an ache in his heart.

* * *

Star’s alarm jolted her awake. Four–thirty a.m. The events of last night came flooding back. She’d made love with Cade. Wonderful, mind–blowing sex. The condom had broken. The soul–baring conversation on the porch.

Star groaned.

She turned over on Patsy’s couch, noting the soreness between her thighs. What had started out as a perfect night had turned into a nightmare. She prayed for the millionth time the condom had protected her.

Star hugged the pillow to her chest. She knew she needed to get up and get over to Cade’s. She’d promised to be there right before five a.m. to stay with kids while he fished, but the thought of facing him kept her where she was.

Star glanced at the clock. She had to get up, now. She rolled out of bed and into the shower. The hot water helped wake her up. She dressed quickly in a jean skirt and white sleeveless blouse, sliding her feet into the blue flip flops.

The sky was pink as she drove to Cade’s. Star pulled into the driveway and cut the engine. How would Cade greet her this morning? For a second, nerves tightened her stomach. Stop it, Star, she told herself. You have nothing to be nervous about. You’re both adults.

More confident, she strode to the house and let herself in. The scents of bacon and coffee filled the air. She could hear the men talking in the kitchen.

Yet, she couldn’t stop the blush that heated her cheeks when she entered the kitchen. “Hey, everyone.”

“Mornin’, Star,” Hank and Jack said at the same time. Both men worked to eat the food on their plates.

Her attention moved onto Cade.

“Good morning,” he said warmly, looking her straight in the eye. He smiled. “You okay this morning?”

“Sure,” she lied.

“Breakfast?” he asked, but she didn’t miss the worry crease on his brow.

“Looks good, but I think I’ll start with coffee. It’s a little early for food.”

“Help yourself.” He gave a head nod toward the pot.

“Thanks.” Star snagged a coffee cup.

Brad wandered into the kitchen, looking rumpled and exhausted.

Cade set a plate of food in front of him. “Eat, we take off in fifteen minutes.”

“I’m not hungry,” Brad grumbled.

“You will be once we’re on the boat,” Cade said as he took his place at the table.

Hank and Jack filled the conversation with their excitement over the upcoming trip. Cade chimed in, and even Brad had something to say about netting a halibut.

To her surprise, Star enjoyed the men’s banter. She sipped her coffee, glad for the safe subjects. She didn’t want to think about a possible pregnancy.

More than ever, she wanted to go home. Alaska was a dead end. No career. Nothing but fish. And one hot man.

No, Cade wasn’t a fair trade off for a life filled with fish, kids, and second–rate furnishings.

“Star’s a lifesaver,” Cade said, to the men, “giving up her free time to be here to help.”

His eyes said all the things he couldn’t—he liked having her here. Ignoring the bittersweet ache in her chest, Star said, “My pleasure. I’ve enjoyed being here, meeting the kids, seeing the place with adult eyes.”

They finished eating, and Brad took the men out to the van.

“Thanks again, Star,” Cade said on his way out. “The twins will be up soon.”

“We’ll be fine,” Star assured him.

He touched her chin, lifting it slightly. “I’ll see you later.” His lips brushed against hers. “I can tell you’re worried. Relax. We’ll talk when I get home.”

“Okay,” she whispered against his lips. “Don’t worry about things here. As soon as Vivienne leaves I’m going to take the kids to see their new cousin.”

“They’ll love that,” Cade said.

“Come on, Dad,” Brad called from the foyer.

Cade kissed her quick. “Bye.”

Star was left to stare after him. The broken condom aside, she was going to miss Cade when she left.

She was going to miss him a lot.