Hometown Star

chapter Eighteen

“I can’t believe how much he’s grown in a little over a week.” Star rocked baby Daniel in her arms. “He’s got the dark O’Brien hair. He looks just like his daddy.”

Trudy smiled. “I know.”

Trudy’s face shone with love for her son, making Star wonder how she’d feel about her own child if she were pregnant. Was she capable of that kind of love? Baby love was powerful, all consuming. How did one survive such an emotion? Star had no idea, but she did know that loving the baby wouldn’t be her problem. No, the problem came with having to raise a child.

“You look great, Trudy,” Star said, meaning it.

“Thanks.” Form–fitting black jeans cupped Trudy’s backside. A pink T–shirt hugged breasts heavy with mother’s milk. “I’m glad you’re here, Star. We’ve all missed you.”

“It’s only been a week,” Star reminded her. But it seemed like forever.

“I know. Still, it’s not the same without you. I’m selfish enough to want you here all the time. I loved having another woman close by.” She sighed. “But I understand why you won’t stay. Your life is exciting and glamorous. All these television people. It’s so fun to watch them work. And the kitchen, well, you know how excited I am about that. More so now that Cade has decided against expanding. I’ll be cooking in that brand new kitchen every day.”

“What do you mean?” Star asked. “Has Cade given up the idea of building over at Patsy’s place?”

“Didn’t he tell you?” Trudy’s eyebrows rose in question. “He hasn’t knocked down the mobile home. My theory is that he couldn’t bear to once you left. He knows the place means something to you.”

Star digested the news, not sure what to think.

“He’s fallen for you, Star,” Trudy said. “I can tell. He’s not the same. You changed him.”

“It can’t work between us,” Star said sadly. “We live in different states. We want different things.”

“Can’t you find a middle ground?”

Star shook her head. “I don’t see how. I can’t give up my career to raise a family. I don’t want to.”

“But you love the kids now. I can tell,” Trudy said. “And I even think that Brad has grown on you.” She laughed. “Well, as much as a teenager with a gigantic attitude can.”

“They’re great kids,” Star agreed, “but they’re still kids. I do love them, but they need a mother, a full–time mother.”

“Speaking of that,” Trudy said. “Cade is going to hire a nanny. I have my hands super–full with Daniel and my work at the B & B. We need help.”

Star hated the thought of a nanny, but on the flipside, Cade did need the help. Hiring a nanny was the responsible thing to do.

“Are the kids okay with that?” Star asked.

Trudy shrugged. “Who knows? It won’t be so bad. I’ll be right here to make sure things go smoothly.”

“I guess so,” Star said, feeling oddly bereft.

“Brandi and Bud are here,” Cade said as he came into the room.

Star passed Daniel back to Trudy. She’d called Brandi earlier and invited her over. After wrapping for the day, the crew had gone to their hotel. She was the only one staying at the O’Briens. Tomorrow they were going to begin demolition. At that time, Trudy and Ron were taking the kids to stay at her parents’ place in town.

They had one week to get the kitchen done. Update This! worked at a break–neck pace.

One week in Seward.

One week with Cade.

“Go ahead,” Trudy said. “I need to change Daniel.”

“Okay.”

“How are you holding up?” Cade asked, his fingers closing around hers.

“I’m doing fine,” Star said. “It’s so good to visit with Trudy, but this isn’t real, Cade, you know that, right? I’m not staying forever.”

“I know,” Cade said. “But I don’t have to like it.”

When they hit the hall, Star could hear Brandi even before she could see her, and then they were hugging, baby Will between them.

“Give me that baby,” Star said, taking Will from Brandi. Star kissed his cheek. “You are so handsome, Will.” Will opened his little mouth and tried to gum Star’s chin.

“Looks just like his daddy,” Bud joked, leaning in to kiss Star’s cheek.

“I could eat you up,” Star said to Will. She kissed him again.

“Looks like you really missed him,” Brandi said in a knowing tone. Will made a darling, cooing sound and they all laughed. “Guess he missed you, too.”

“We all missed Star,” Cade said.

Star glanced up. She could tell Cade liked seeing her with a baby in her arms.

Unsettled, Star handed Will back to Brandi. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s find a place where we can sit and talk.”

Star headed for the back door, but she didn’t miss the look of compassion—or was it pity?—that passed between her sister and Cade.

A look that bruised Star’s heart.

* * *

“Come with me.”

Cade held his hand out to Star. He was finally free to enjoy her, make love to her like he wanted to.

They were alone. Brandi and Bud had taken a sleeping baby Will home. Trudy and Ron were upstairs with Daniel. Emma and Finn were in bed. Brad was out on a date.

Cade’s fingers closed around Star’s, her skin soft and warm against his. He pulled her up from the lawn chair.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“There’s a hammock out here with our name on it.”

Star smiled. “Is it big enough for two?”

“Who cares?” He grinned.

Cade swung himself into the hammock, holding it steady while Star climbed in. The hammock tipped, but Cade caught Star, pulling her close, gathering her softness to him. She snuggled against him, fit to him like she was made for him. Man, he never wanted to let her go. He’d missed her like crazy last week. How could he convince her to stay? How did he erase years of damage and heartache? His arms tightened around her.

Her hand moved across his ribcage, her touch light, exploratory.

“I’m beat,” she said.

“Me, too. Your boss is exhausting.” But he didn’t care. He’d put up with a hundred Franks to have Star near. He knew he was crazy to lure her back here, but he’d been unable to help himself. He needed her in a way he’d never needed Marissa. Star was a part of him, had been a part of him forever. First love, forever love.

“Isn’t he?” Star agreed. “I thought it was just me, but Frank wears everyone out.”

Cade shifted so they were facing each other, their bodies touching everywhere. He kissed her forehead, her nose, her mouth. Her sweet taste fueled him, made him ache for her.

Star kissed him back. They kissed, and kissed, and kissed some more until they were totally lost in each other. Cade’s hands found their way under her shirt and Star moaned.

“You’re so soft,” he said. “I love touching you.”

“I want to be naked with you, O’Brien.”

Cade smiled. “The mobile home is still there.”

“I wanted to talk to you about that.”

“Later.” He didn’t want to explain why he couldn’t demolish the place. Even he didn’t fully understand why. He only knew the trailer was part of the woman he loved, and if that scared her, well, too bad.

Star laughed as he pulled her from the hammock.

Like two lovesick teenagers, they ran down the path to Patsy’s. Once inside, they stripped each other naked. Their lovemaking was fierce, the sex so hot, Cade knew he had to find a way to convince her to stay. Being without Star was not an option. She might be a city girl, but her heart was here, with him.

They belonged together.

He’d always known that; now he just had to convince her.

* * *

They were on day four of the shoot when Vivienne pulled into Cade’s driveway, driving Evan Jenson’s pickup truck.

Needing some time away from the constant hammering and sawing, Star had just returned from a walk. The weather had cleared and blue sky stretched overhead as far as she could see. To her left, the show’s carpenters worked, building what, Star wasn’t sure.

Star paused on the front porch, waiting for the designer to join her.

“Star, bonjour!” Vivienne called as she jumped down from the driver’s seat. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t ask,” Star said. “Where have you been? With Evan? I recognize his truck.”

“Guilty.” Vivienne smiled. She placed her hand on her heart. “I’m in love.”

Star’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you two had a fight.”

“We made up.” Vivienne’s eyebrows rose suggestively. “Makeup sex is great.”

“I hope Evan was worth it,” Star said. “Frank says you’re fired.”

“Evan is worth it.” Vivienne held out her left hand. A large diamond ring circled her ring finger. “We got married.”

“What?” Star asked incredulous. “You barely know him. What’s wrong with you? You don’t get married on a whim. Trust me. My mother’s done it five times.”

“When it is right, you know,” Vivienne said in a dreamy tone.

“That’s what my mother always says and she’s trolling for husband number six.”

“You’re too cynical, Star. Believe in the fairytale. So what if your mother’s been married five times? That’s five times she’s fallen in love. Falling in love is fabulous. You should try it.”

“Are you in love?” Star asked. “Really in love?”

The smile slid from Vivienne’s face. “Of course I am.”

“You know I wish you well,” Star said, not wanting to totally crush Vivienne’s happiness. “I only wish you’d given the relationship more time. You know?”

“You will never change.” Vivienne’s jaw set in a stubborn line. “On a scale of one to ten how mad is Frank?”

“He’s a fifteen.”

Vivienne gave Star a tight smile. “Ouch. Where is the old grouch?”

“Inside, telling everyone what to do.”

“So exactly where do you fit in here?” Vivienne asked. “Cade’s house is a stand–in for Evan’s place, yes?”

“Yes. Cade would only consent to the remodel if I came along.”

“Is that so?” Vivienne smiled. “Maybe you’re not as immune to love as you pretend to be. Well, wish me luck.”

“Good luck,” Star said, knowing Vivienne would need more than luck on her side. Frank could be tough. He wouldn’t cave easily. If Vivienne wanted her job back, she was going to have to grovel, and even then there was no guarantee Frank would give in.

Cade appeared in the doorway. “Hey.”

“Hi.” She smiled. Just looking at him lightened her spirit. There was no mistaking the chemistry between them. When Cade came into the room, Star’s world got brighter.

“Do you have time for coffee?” he asked.

“My stomach’s bothering me today,” she said, “but I will take a cup of tea. I think Frank is giving me an ulcer.”

She followed Cade inside to the family room, where a makeshift kitchen had been set up. Star filled a mug with hot water from the food service cart and added a tea bag.

“Your stomach?” Cade asked, taking a sip of his coffee. “You’d tell me if your period was late, right?”

Star looked at him as if he were crazy. “My period is not going to be late. I know my body. The premenstrual signs are there, the bloating, the exhaustion. I’m crabby.”

“Still,” Cade said, “you’d tell me, right?”

“Of course.”

“I know the thought of being a parent terrifies you, but it doesn’t scare me. As much as I want you in my life, I’ll take the baby without you.”

“Are you saying you’d want me to carry the baby to term, then just walk away?” Star asked, incredulous.

“That would be your choice,” Cade said. “It’s not what I want. If you are pregnant, I want us to raise the baby together.”

Star remembered the feel of Will’s kick when he’d been inside Brandi. To feel the baby inside her, to nurture it, to bring it into the world, she couldn’t walk away and leave the baby with Cade, could she?

“I don’t want a baby,” she said, the words low, for his ears only. “You know that. I’m not pregnant.”

“I don’t want a baby either,” Cade said, “but if you are pregnant, we have to deal with it.”

Star set her tea down on the table. “Stop it. We’re talking about something that hasn’t happened yet.”

“Okay,” Cade said, his tone gentler now. “Okay. But I want you to know I’m here for you.”

Star nodded. She didn’t reply, she couldn’t. Her insides were in a knot. Her period was a day late. A day. Not out of the norm for her. She could count on being a day or two early or late most months. Yet, she didn’t confide in Cade. She refused to freak out.

She was in line for a promotion. Her life was on track, perfect. There was no room for a baby, no room for Cade, or his kids. She didn’t want a baby. Not now, not ever.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Star found Frank in the living room where he was watching Bret Parker, the host of Update This! do an on–air interview with Cade.

Her boss stood out of camera range, his arms folded across his chest. His brows were drawn together, and Star could see the tension on his face. He hadn’t calmed down yet. His fight with Vivienne still bothered him. Vivienne was still fired, but Star thought Frank would hire her back eventually. She was too good, too much of a ratings favorite.

Star watched Cade. He sat on the couch, a camera in his face. She stayed in the doorway, out of the shot. Frank noticed her and put his hand up, palm out, the gesture telling her to stay put.

“It’s the end of day four,” Bret said to Cade. “How do you think it’s going?”

“Fine.” Cade’s forehead creased. “It’s not easy to watch the place being torn apart, but everyone seems to know what they’re doing.”

“You don’t sound like you have a lot of faith in the team,” Bret said, goading Cade, no doubt hoping for a negative reaction.

“Time will tell,” Cade replied, keeping his cool.

“I guess it will,” Bret agreed. “What do you think of the colors, now that the walls are painted?”

“I’m not sure about all the red,” Cade said. “The color is strong.”

“It is,” Bret agreed. “Do you have anything to say to Carrie? It’s her design after all.”

“I trust her,” Cade said, looking directly at Star.

She gave him a small smile.

“Have you given any thought to how you’ll respond when the mail from the female viewers comes pouring in? A widower like you, three adorable kids, the ladies are going to eat you up.”

“Not really,” Cade said, and Star knew he’d agreed to play along with the single guy looking for a wife premise the show was based on, but he had no intention of following through, and Frank let him get away with no dates, in exchange for using the house.

“You’re a good looking guy,” Bret said. “You’re going to get more offers than you can imagine.”

“I guess I’ll think about that when the time comes.”

“A good diplomatic answer,” Bret said, giving the camera the dimpled grin that had earned him a female following of his own.

Cade nodded.

“Well, you heard him, folks,” Bret said directly to the camera. “Cade’s willing to trust our team. Let’s just hope they don’t let him down.”

Bret made a cutting motion with his hand.

“We’re out,” Frank said before turning to Cade. “Good job, Cade. Just the right amount of doubt and mystery. Viewers love that.”

Cade stood. “Glad I could help.” He started for Star.

She met him halfway. “You’re a natural on camera.”

Cade grimaced. “I doubt that. I was uncomfortable.”

“It didn’t show. Besides, viewers expect you to be uncomfortable. They know you’re not an actor.”

Frank joined them. “You’ve done a great job, Star.”

“Thanks, Frank.” Star glanced away from Cade to her clipboard. “We’re right on schedule. The demolition is complete. The painting is done. The plumber is nearly finished, and the floor guys are about to go in and put in the new sub–floor.”

“No, I mean it,” Frank said with a bob of his head. “You rose to the challenge on this one. I’ve been watching you for a while now, wondering if you were producer material. You have to be tough, a leader. I think you have what it takes, kid. You’ve proven that by being my anytime, anywhere, anything gal.”

Star snapped to attention, her stomach tightening in anticipation. Was this finally it? Was he promoting her?

“I can do the job,” she said. “You know I can. I’m dedicated. I work hard. Work comes first for me. It always has and always will.”

She didn’t glance at Cade, didn’t want to see his reaction to their conversation.

“I know that, Star,” Frank said, “that’s why I’ve decided to promote you to associate producer.”

Star grinned. “Really, Frank?” A giddiness overtook her, a high better than champagne.

“The job is yours. Of course, you’ll be spending more time in the field. Your hours will be longer. Your responsibilities greater. Can you handle all that?”

“You know I can.”

Frank nodded. “Good enough. You can start with the tree house project. It’ll be your baby. As soon as we wrap here, you can take off for Canada.”

“Thank you!” Star said, her excitement bubbling over.

Frank smiled. “You earned it, kid.” He walked away, then yelled, “Bret, quit making eyes at Carrie and get your butt in the kitchen.”

Still smiling, Star turned to Cade.

“Congratulations.” Cade smiled, but to Star the smile looked forced.

“Thanks. This is my dream job, Cade,” she said, wanting him to understand how important this promotion was to her. “I’m finally getting everything I ever wanted.”

“Are you, Star?” Cade asked softly.

She stiffened. “Yes.”

He glanced away from her, and she knew he was upset. “And if you’re pregnant?”

“I’ve never misrepresented myself to you,” she said gently.

He frowned. “I know that. I’m just sorry.”

“For what?”

“For everything.”

Her fingers tightened on the clipboard. “What do you mean?”

“Star,” Frank yelled from the other room. “I need you.”

“You better go,” Cade said with a sad shake of his head. “After all, you’re on the clock.”

Before Star could reply, Cade left her standing there alone. Damn him. He’d managed to steal the joy from her promotion. Star lifted her chin. He could only steal her joy if she let him. Her shoulders squared, Star wheeled around and headed for Frank, and the job that made her so happy.

* * *

Cade felt guilty, and he didn’t like the feeling.

But damn it, something had happened between him and Star, something he didn’t want to lose. He didn’t understand how a career could come first, not when it came to two people being together, especially not when there was a possibility Star could be pregnant. If he could do his job in Seattle, would he consider moving for her? He didn’t know. He’d have to uproot the kids. His leaving would affect Ron and Trudy. So many people depended on him. Even so, he was willing to compromise, to find a way they could be together. There had to be a middle ground and if he didn’t want to lose her, he needed to figure out where it was.

He’d done everything he could think of to make her happy, even consenting to this kitchen makeover. What did she want? Could he ever make her happy, or had her ugly childhood damaged her beyond repair? What would it take for Star to realize where her heart really belonged?

Cade let himself out the back door. He pulled up a deck chair and sat. The evening air buzzed with nature’s sounds, and yet an odd quiet crowded the space. He missed Finn, Emma, and Brad. He needed his kids like he needed air. He couldn’t imagine his life without them. Or without Star.

Upstairs, she was taking a bath, a bath he’d wanted to join her in, but he wasn’t sure he’d be welcome. He’d tried to be happy for her when Frank gave her the promotion, but he’d failed. She’d seen right through his words. He’d been so disappointed.

The back door creaked. Ron came down the stairs, pulling up a chair beside him.

“Hey,” Ron said. “Things are looking good.”

“I didn’t know you were here.”

“In and out,” Ron said, leaning back in the chair. “Trudy sent me for Emma’s pink blanket. I’m heading right back.”

“Kiss the kids for me.”

“I will.” Ron smiled. “Trudy is tickled with the remodel.”

“I’m glad she likes it,” Cade said. “It’s too red for my taste.”

Ron shrugged. “I don’t care what color it is. If Trudy’s happy, I’m happy.”

When Cade didn’t comment, Ron said. “What’s up? You look like you just lost your best friend.”

“Star got promoted.” Cade frowned. “She leaves for Canada as soon as this show is in the can.”

“It’s what she wants, right?” Ron asked.

Cade nodded.

“You’ve really fallen for her, haven’t you?”

Cade sighed. “Yeah.”

Ron smiled. “It’s always been her, hasn’t it?”

“Yep.”

“You need to fight for Star,” Ron said. “Find a way to make it work.”

“How?” Cade held up his hands. “My work is here, hers is there. Then there’s the issue of kids. Star doesn’t want any. I have three. The woman I’m with needs to want my kids. They’ve already had a mother they couldn’t count on. I won’t do that to them again.”

“Star’s family phobic,” Ron said. “Trudy told me. Star’s afraid to care too much. She’s taken a beating when it comes to responsibility. She’s tired of being the glue that holds everything together. You’ve got to be her glue, Cade. Get it?”

“Her glue?” Cade asked, thinking his brother was becoming more like Trudy every day.

“Show her what teamwork’s all about. She wouldn’t have to raise the kids alone. You’re there for her, man. We all are.”

Cade stood. “You didn’t really come here for the blanket, did you?”

Ron shrugged. “You have the place to yourself tonight and tomorrow night, after that she’ll be gone. Figure things out, bro.” Ron patted Cade’s shoulder before rising. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Cade waited until he heard the sound of Ron’s truck starting before he went inside. He wanted to be with Star, wanted to show her he could be her glue.

When he reached Star’s room, he let himself in. The bed was empty, the room quiet. Light came from the adjoining bathroom.

Cade walked to the bathroom. In the doorway, he stopped. Star was in the tub, up to her neck in bubbles. She had all her hair pinned up on her head. Her eyes were closed.

She looked like an angel.

She sensed him, her eyes opening.

“I knocked,” he said.

She reached up, and with a bubbled covered hand she pulled the ear buds from her ears. “What?”

“I said, I knocked, but obviously you didn’t hear me.”

She tossed the ear buds on a nearby chair, where they landed near her iPod. “Is everyone gone?”

Cade nodded. They needed to talk, but seeing her in the tub made him switch gears. More than anything, he wanted to crawl into that big claw footed tub with her. They could talk later.

Cade pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it on the chair.

Star’s eyes widened.

He unbuckled his belt, and unbuttoned his jeans.

Star smiled.

Cade sat on the edge of the chair and pulled his boots off, then his socks. He stood, facing her, and pushed his jeans down, stepping out of them.

“I guess you’re happy to see me.” Star laughed softly.

Cade already had his boxers off. “I guess I am.”

She sat up, making room for him as he got in the tub with her, sliding in behind her.

Cade leaned back in the tub, his head on the rim. Star settled back against him, her head on his chest, her back against his stomach. Cade’s arms went around her, his hands finding her breasts.

The water was cold and all over the floor when Cade finished loving Star.

It was a bath neither of them would ever forget.