Oh, shit.
My mind focused in an instant. Yesterday, the only thing stopping him from killing that man had been the trade. But today—
No, he wouldn’t.
Of course he would. He was a killer.
“GAV!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, and my dry throat ached with the strain of the shouting. I didn’t care. “GAV!”
I had to get out. Sure, I had to get to the bathroom, but more than that, I had to stop him from killing another person. If he was gone, he would be driving over to wherever he’d said he’d found the next victim. As I thought about it, I realized that I wasn’t scared for his next victim. I was scared for him.
Where had he gone? I racked my brain even as I twisted my body up, trying to get my feet to reach the knot. He’d said a hundred miles away. That means I had time, if he had left not too long ago. But how could I know?
My toes touched the rope, and I curled them around the top of the knot, trying to get a grip. My neck was bent at a weird angle, and I had to pee, oh god, I had to pee so bad.
I had to get out. My toes slipped off of the rope, and a shooting pain crossed my abs. I nearly cried out loud. Trying to keep myself from peeing was too much in this position.
But I couldn’t let him do it. I couldn’t let him kill.
“GAV!” I screamed. My chest began to tighten.
No. Not a panic attack. Not now.
“No,” I said to myself, as I gasped for breath. “No, no, no, no!”
Anxiety gripped my throat so hard that I thought my windpipe had collapsed. I didn’t have my pills. If I had my pills, I would be fine. But no pills. No way to move, to sit up. My arms were stretched out to the sides, and I couldn’t relax.
“GAAAAAAAV!”
God, I had to pee. Oh god, I had to pee. It was going to come out if he didn’t show up… now. I clenched my thighs together and tried to hold it. The tenseness in my chest grew. Was I having a heart attack? Jesus, what would happen to me if I had a heart attack?
It wasn’t a heart attack. It wasn’t a heart attack.
“Breathe, Kat,” I repeated, my belly full and tight and needing release. “Deep breaths. In, out.”
I couldn’t breathe deeply, not with my bladder so full. It was no use. I had to try to get out of this bed, no matter what.
I twisted my legs up above my head again, and again my toes slipped. This time my leg fell down, and I couldn’t stop myself. My body was too tense, and I had to let go.
Warmth spread as I pissed myself. I moaned, trying to shift my body over to the side of the bed, but it was no use. I soaked through my underwear, my dress, the sheets. The pungent odor of urine rose from below, stinging my nose.
Tears filled my eyes as I gasped for air. The humiliation was enough to make me cry, but apart from that I was no closer to escaping, to preventing Gav from bringing another man back here to kill him.
He would stick him with a needle, just like the other man.
Breathe, Kat. I sucked in air, but it wasn’t enough. The whole room seemed to close in on me, fuzzy and dark. I twisted my leg up again, but I couldn’t even see the ties around my wrists.
He would tie the man down on the table, tighten the straps.
No, Kat. No.
I shook my head and clenched my eyes shut, breathing through my teeth. My teeth were hurting from my jaw being clenched so tight. The wetness on my lower half turned cold in the air as I twisted up, trying to find the knot with my toes. If only I had a knife…
He had a knife. He would cut the man open.
“NO!” I shouted, gasping for breath. My chest clenched and I felt a muscle spasm rip through my neck, cramping my throat.
He would stab him through the heart.
No!
I gasped for air. My vision was blotted with gray spots and I grew dizzy. The ropes around my wrists were tight, so tight. There was no blood. I couldn’t escape. I would die here in a bed of my own piss.
“Help!” I called, my voice rasping between shallow breaths. There was no air in the room. I was choking, choking. There was no air at all, no matter how much I gasped. The room spun around me.
He would kill him. Kill him. Kill.
“Gav…” I cried weakly, and then everything went black.
Gav
I did something stupid.
Before, I’d said that I was not a stupid person - I always made my moves carefully, cautiously, rationally. If I slipped up, I might get caught, and I knew what the consequences were if anyone discovered me.
But I was curious. Like my kitten.
And so I did a stupid, careless thing. I went back to the library where I had seen the girl. I told myself I was going to pick up some more books for her to read, to keep her company. But that was only another lie that I told myself.
The truth of it was, I wanted to know more about her.