Such a strange intimacy.
We came to the front door. I stopped in my tracks, but he opened the door as nonchalantly as though it was an everyday occurrence. Which, for him, I suppose it was.
“Did you need shoes?”
I had forgotten my feet were bare. I shook my head no. I wanted to get outside. I needed to get outside.
“It should be fine,” he said, more to himself than to me. “It’s grassy outside.”
I walked forward past the threshold of the door, my knees trembling. My stomach was tight across my pelvis. Unwilling to believe this was possible, I kept expecting to run into an invisible wall just outside the door. But no, I was out of the house and then he was leading me forward. The wood planks of the front steps were rough under my feet, warm from the afternoon sun.
With my hand on his arm, we walked down the steps and out into the world.
It was spring, and it was a beautiful day outside. I stopped a few feet away from the house, tilting my head back. The sun was so bright that it made my eyes water, and the warmth caressed my skin.
“We’ll go this way,” Gavriel said, motioning towards the woods. “The path is nearly all grass.”
We walked across the driveway toward the pines. Under my toes, the asphalt was dark and hot, and I walked a bit faster to not burn the soles of my feet. I loved the feeling, though, I loved the prickling sensation. A breeze sent goosebumps running along my arms, but then the sun warmed them back up as soon as the wind died down.
Another sharp breeze sent the pines above us shuddering, and pollen rained down, blown sideways by the wind. The sun glittered off of the golden pinpricks, making the air seem like an ethereal galaxy of dust. If I had allergies, I’d be horrified - my old roommate had hated pollen and refused to go outside in the spring. But I was mesmerized.
We walked slowly. The path was only wide enough for one person, and Gav let me walk ahead of him. My eyes darted from one treasure to another. The amber resin glowing like gemstones in the cracks of the pine branches. The bright yellow ovals of fungus growing on logs, their edges wrinkled and neon. I let my hand trail down the rough bark of a redwood, my fingertips touching every crack and crevice. A line of ants curved around the trunk, and as I stopped and watched, I could see the whole tree’s surface moving with activity.
At my feet, something moved, and I jumped back, startled, right into Gavriel’s arms. He waited for me to find my balance, then dropped his hands away.
“It’s just a newt.”
“A what?”
Gavriel bent down to pick up the wriggling creature.
“They’re everywhere out here, especially after a rain. Be careful you don’t step on them. They usually don’t start moving until you come too close.”
“He’s a cutie. Hey, cutie.”
“Want to hold him?”
Gav held the newt out to me, daring me with his eyebrows to take it. Boldly, I reached out and he dropped the little animal into my hand.
Immediately it began to wiggle around. I held it in my hand, my thumb pressed lightly on its back to keep it from wriggling out of my grasp. Its skin was nearly translucent, and I could feel its belly rise and fall against my palm. Its little feet were wet against my skin.
“Looks like you found yourself a pet.”
“Slimy,” I said. “Not the best pet to cuddle with.”
“Better than a banana slug.”
I laughed and crouched down, letting the little newt crawl off of my hand. It flopped belly-first into the wet leaves and kept wriggling away.
“Be free, little newt!”
“So much for a pet.”
“He can still be my pet. I’ll come back and bring it some… what do newts eat, anyway?”
“Insects?” Gav shrugged.
“Yuck. Well, never mind that, then.”
We kept walking, me in front. On the sides of the path, I noticed all of the little newts I’d never noticed before. And I was careful not to step on any of them.
It was so weird. I’d spent every day for the past three years walking through the arboretum on my way to work, but I’d never noticed anything about the trees there. Here, though, it was like every new tree had something amazing about it - the curve of the branches, the way the leaves fluttered like clusters of green wings on the ends of their twigs.
I stopped in the middle of a clearing, and Gav’s footsteps stopped behind me. In front of us, a massive redwood stretched up to the sky. I tilted my head back and looked up at the tree. The bark smelled so good, damp and fragrant, and the only sound was the rustle of the pines around us.
Why had I never noticed how beautiful they were before?