I pulled into Kim’s driveway and put the car in park. Oliver scowled at me.
“Don’t open your mouth when she gets in this car,” he demanded. “You’re being a little bitch because you’re mad that whoever gave you a pregnancy scare dumped you. I’m sorry he did that, but don’t put your bullshit on me. I’m excited about this date, and I’m not gonna let you ruin it.”
He exited the car without another word, and I sat speechless, staring ahead at the garage doors. And then the guilt swept over me like a hot wind. Uncomfortable. Stinging. Burning. My eyes welled. I’d turned into a bitch. And I’m not a bitch. I’m a nice girl. What was happening to me? And why was I allowing someone so much control over the way I felt about myself and how I treated other people?
I watched as Oliver escorted Kim to the car, opening the door for her like a perfect gentleman. I know I wasn’t supposed to talk, but I decided to anyway because everything I was about to say was going to be kind.
“Hi, Kim,” I said, turning around and smiling. Oliver narrowed his eyes at me.
“Hey, Cadence,” Kim replied. “Thanks for driving us.”
“Oh, it’s no big deal. I’ve got nothing better to do,” I said.
Oliver cleared his throat. I turned on the car and backed onto the street.
“So Kim, you play lacrosse, right?”
“Uh huh.”
“That’s, like, hardcore,” I said.
“Yeah, I know. Everyone thinks lacrosse players are dykes, but we totally aren’t.”
“Oh, I never thought you were a dyke. I just meant hardcore like, you go girl! Kickass, you know?”
“So anyway,” Oliver interjected. “I hope you like this restaurant, Kim.”
“I’ve never been,” she replied. “And I’m really excited.”
I could hear the giddiness in her voice and relaxed. She was genuinely happy to be on this date with my brother. I decided to shut up and give them their time, so I turned on the radio and listened as Jonn Hart sang about booty—particularly “who booty.” I don’t know if he ever discovered whose booty it was, but I hoped for his sake he did. I’d never heard someone so desperate for ass, and I thought he’d lose his mind if he didn’t find that booty.
I thought I was losing my mind.
Somehow, I suppose by the grace of God, I managed to pull up my calculus grade to a low “B.” So I stopped going to tutoring. I would have stopped going to tutoring regardless, but at least my current average showed that I was starting to grasp the concepts better. Plus, there was always Jacob to help me if I fell behind again. He offered every other day. Funny how he approached me at my locker at the exact moment I thought about him.
“Hey, Cadence,” he said, shifting his book bag from one shoulder to the other.
“Hey,” I replied, squatting on the floor and packing my own bag.
“My mom wanted me to tell you that she really liked that flower arrangement you made,” he said. “She’s sending you a ‘thank you’ card, but she insisted I tell you in person.”
I smiled. “I’m glad she liked it.”
“You’re really good at that, you know,” Jacob said. “Ever thought about a career in plants?”
I chuckled.
“That sounded so stupid,” he muttered.
“I like botany, actually,” I said. “And yes, I have thought about a career in plants. Specifically what it would be like to own my own flower shop.” I stood up. “Did you get taller?”
He chuckled. “You noticed. And yes. Two inches since the start of this year.”
“Oh my God! That’s crazy!”
“And weird. I didn’t grow at all last year,” he replied.
I stood on my tiptoes and leveled my hand over my head, guiding it to Jacob. It hit right below his shoulder. “Good grief. You’re gonna have to get yourself a tall woman to keep up with all that.”
Jacob shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know if I like tall girls.”
“Why not? Tall girls are the models,” I replied.
“Eh.” He shrugged his shoulders, and I laughed. “You working today?”
“Nope. Just heading home.”
“You think your parents would let you get coffee with me? I mean, if you want to,” he said.
I considered him. “No drugs in your pockets?”
“Not one.”
“No tranquilizer gun in your book bag?”
“Left it at home.”
“Then I think they’d be okay with it. I have to call first,” I said.
He nodded and waited for me by my locker. I walked a little way down the hall to make the call. I flinched when I saw Mr. Connelly round the corner. It had been three weeks, but I still felt raw. And ridiculous. I mostly felt ridiculous.
He paused in front of me. “Good job on your quiz today, Cadence.”
“Thanks, Mr. Connelly,” I said, then turned my back on him and called Dad.
The conversation was easy, short and sweet. Dad didn’t seem to have a problem with anything I did now. Or anyone I hung out with. My short, two-week depression scared him so badly that he was just happy to see me functioning again. I thought he’d even let me hang out with Dean because he was so desperate to see me smile.
“Meet you there,” I said to Jacob.
“Where?” he asked.
“The Starbucks right down the street,” I clarified.
“Okay.”
I’d never spent any significant time with Jacob and didn’t realize how funny he was. He had me laughing so hard I spilled coffee all down the front of my shirt.
“Oh shit! I’m sorry!” he said, handing me a stack of napkins.
“It’s okay,” I chuckled, wiping my shirt.
“Well, anyway. Those were my Pokémon days,” he said, taking another sip of his coffee. “Don’t tell anyone.”
I shook my head. “I won’t.”
“I don’t ever remember you being that dorky,” he said, eyeing me thoughtfully.
“Oh, believe me. I was. Still am, actually.”
“Don’t believe it. You’re one of the cool chicks now,” he said.
“And where are you getting that from? I’m a social outcast,” I said.
“Well, that’s what makes you cool,” he said. “I mean, who wants to be in with the losers at our school?”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I said. “The popular kids aren’t losers. We’re the losers,” I clarified.