“Hmm. Well, look at pop culture. The ‘80s aren’t much different from now if you think about it,” Avery replied.
“Not much different? Have you seen answering machines from the ‘80s?”
“Pop culture, Cadence. I didn’t say anything about technology.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, ‘80s fashion is back. Hollywood is remaking all the ‘80s classics. Even music is starting to sound like stuff from the ‘80s,” she explained.
I thought for a moment. “You’re so right.”
“Everything old is new again,” Avery said, and hiccupped.
“Are you my friend?” I asked out of nowhere.
“Are you mine?” she replied.
Brief pause.
“Oh Avery!” I said, and flung my arms around her. “I knew you wanted to be my friend from the moment you talked to me in the cafeteria! And you were just trying to act all big and bad in case I didn’t want to be your friend. But I do want to be your friend, Avery! I do!”
“Oh my God. You’re such a sap,” Avery replied, but she hugged me back. “And yes, I wanted to be your friend.”
I drew back and studied her face. “So now we’re truly friends!”
“Yes, Cadence.”
“Not just pretend friends,” I clarified.
“No, Cadence. Not just pretend friends.”
I squealed. “It feels so good to have a friend!”
“Yes, Cadence. Now will you focus?” Avery asked.
I nodded enthusiastically.
“Okay, so we’ve got Fast Times, Can’t Buy Me Love, Lucas, Say Anything . . .”
“Wait, is that the one where he holds up the boom box while she’s lying in bed?” I asked.
“Uh huh. Freaking awesome,” Avery replied.
“Let’s do it,” I said, and skipped to the kitchen to get our pitcher of alcohol.
We settled onto the couch with our refills and started the movie. Just then I heard the jangling of keys in the door lock, and the apartment door opened.
“Hey! What are you doing here?” Avery demanded as we watched Gavin and one of his friends walk in. “You’re supposed to be far away. This is girls’ night.”
“Sorry, babe,” Gavin replied. “I forgot some video games.”
“Video games?” Avery asked suspiciously. “Like your retard friend over here doesn’t have a library full of video games?”
“Nice to see you too, Avery,” Gavin’s friend said.
I looked him over. Blatantly. I had no choice because I was drunk, and when you’re drunk, it’s hard to be covert about anything. The man was all muscles, buzzed head, forearms tatted up like he owned a parlor. He looked the exact opposite of my ex-boyfriend, and I liked him immediately.
Avery huffed. “Cadence, this is Nick.”
“Hi, Cadence,” Nick said.
“Hi, Nick,” I replied, and then giggled.
“What’s so funny, Cadence?” he asked, walking over to sit next to me on the couch.
“My martini,” I replied playfully.
“You girls look like you’re up to no good,” Nick said, sitting so close to me that our legs touched.
“We’re being perfectly good,” I replied. “We’re just watching a movie.”
“And why aren’t you spending the night with your boyfriend, Cadence?” Nick asked. “It’s Valentine’s Day.”
My face fell, and he saw.
“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to hit a nerve.”
I shook my head. “I’m flattered you assumed I had a boyfriend.”
“Well, a pretty thing like you? How could you not?” Nick asked.
“I’m gonna barf,” I heard Avery mumble, but I ignored her.
“I did have a boyfriend. Two days ago,” I explained. “He broke up with me.”
Nick looked me over. “Then he’s a moron.”
I hadn’t noticed Gavin settle onto the couch beside Avery, but somehow in the span of fifteen minutes, our girls’ night turned into a couples’ night. Halfway through the movie, Avery and Gavin disappeared to his bedroom, and I was left alone in the living room with Nick. We continued watching the movie for awhile, and maybe I should have felt a little uncomfortable hanging with a guy I didn’t know, but the warmth and relaxation that accompanied my martinis made me anything but. I let Nick put his arm around me as I rested my head on his shoulder.
“You’re such a pretty little thing,” He said into my hair.
I didn’t like that he used the adjective “little.” It reminded me of Mr. Connelly and how he liked to call me “my little Cadence.” I tried to block those words. I wanted to forget about him altogether.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Are you sad, Cadence?” Nick asked. I think he wanted me to be, and I wouldn’t lie to him.
“Yes.”
He lifted my face to his, brushing my hair aside and tucking it behind my ear.
“Would you like me to help you not feel so sad?”
I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
It was a fuzzy blur. The kiss. Tongues twisting. Straddling his thighs. Feeling his mouth on my neck, his teeth sink softly into my skin. He carried me somewhere dark and secretive. I never protested when he strip me naked, laying me carefully on the bed. I never protested when he kissed all over me, spreading my legs and tasting me. I never protested when he slid inside of me and stroked me gently. It felt like making love, though there was no love. I never protested once, but I cried quietly, and he never heard.
In the morning, I lay in Gavin’s guest bed alone, feeling the weight of sin on my shoulders. Not because I had sex outside of marriage, but because I had sex with a man I didn’t love.
***
“Are we gonna talk about this?” Avery asked during lunch the following week.
“No.”
“I feel totally responsible, Cadence,” she said. “I shouldn’t have left you alone with him.”
“It was my decision. It’s not like he forced me.”
“I know, but still. You’re not the kind of girl who has sex with random guys.”
I bristled. “I don’t have sex with random guys. I had sex with one random guy.”
“Well, you’re not the kind of girl who has sex with one random guy.”
“Why do you care?” I barked.
“Because you’re my friend, okay?”
I said nothing.
“I mean, I get why you did it. But the whole point was to have a girls’ night and forget about guys.”