“Cadence, relax,” Mark said. “It’s natural.”
“Natural? For who? I don’t wanna be smacked around, Mark.”
“No one’s gonna smack you around,” he replied. I swear I felt him swell inside me. My eyes grew wide.
“You wanna smack me around, don’t you?” I cried.
“No, Cadence. But I’ll make love to you hard if you want me to,” he said.
I nodded.
And then he moved in me once more, but this time he never took his eyes off my face. He stared at me the whole time he thrust into me until he exploded with a strained cry.
I was proud of myself. I made him do that. I made him feel that good.
He collapsed on my body, making sure to put most of his weight on his forearms.
“Oh man,” he said, chuckling. “Once we cleared all that up, I didn’t take long, did I?”
“Is it usually longer?” I asked.
He laughed again. “Well, women usually like it to last as long as possible . . . unless the sex is really bad, I guess.”
I giggled.
“Was the sex bad?” he asked.
“It was my first time, so what do I know?”
Mark pulled out gently. “Bad answer, Cadence. Makes me feel like it really was terrible.”
“It wasn’t terrible, I swear. I liked at least 25 percent of it.”
Mark burst out laughing. “Giving it to me in math terms, huh? You trying to be cute?”
“A little,” I replied.
“Mind if I get rid of this?” he asked, looking down at the condom still wrapped around his penis.
“Can I look at it first?”
“No.”
“But I wanna see.”
“Cadence, no.”
“But I’ve never seen semen in a condom.”
“You really are a curious little thing. And no.”
“You’re funny,” I observed, watching Mark walk to the bathroom. I liked his ass. I won’t lie.
“How so?” he called. I heard the flush of the toilet.
“I think you want to shield me from certain things,” I said.
He leaned against the doorway considering me.
“You’re right. And what’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing, I guess.” I rolled over and noticed a blood stain on the sheet. “Oh, shit!”
“What?”
“I bled on your sheet!” I said, tucking my legs underneath me.
“Cadence, it’s okay. No big deal. I knew it would happen. Didn’t you?”
“Yes, but I forgot. We should have put something down.”
“Why?”
“Because bloodstains don’t wash out!”
“Okay.”
“I ruined your sheets!”
“Far from it.”
He walked over to me and sat down. I watched him smooth his hand over the blood stain, slowly and thoughtfully. He moved it back and forth, then traced the outline with his forefinger.
“You didn’t ruin my sheets at all.”
I hung my head, embarrassed. What was he doing? Thinking? Why did he like my blood on his sheets? Is that normal?
“Cadence?”
“Hmm?”
“I have another surprise for your birthday, but you might think it’s cheesy.”
I went warm all over. Another surprise? He already surprised me with a trip to Savannah this summer. I’d never been, and I’d lived in Georgia my entire life. He called it my birthday/graduation/taking-the-next-step trip. I wasn’t sure what he meant by taking the next step, but I guess I’d find out when we got there.
“I won’t think it’s cheesy,” I replied.
“Okay. Well, I thought maybe you’d like to take a bath after we did it. Maybe it would help with soreness or something. I don’t know because I’ve no idea how a woman’s body feels afterwards.”
“I’m a little sore.”
“Okay. So I bought some bubble bath things, and I thought I’d draw you a bath.” Mark blushed. “Don’t worry. I had the girl at Bath and Body Works help me out. She gave me bath salts. What the hell are those? And some other stuff.”
I giggled.
“And I could sit with you, or I can leave you alone if you want alone time. It’s whatever you want.” He paused for a moment. “What do you think? Am I completely cheesy?”
“I think you’re the sweetest boyfriend in the whole world.” I lunged at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him hard. It didn’t occur to me that I was still bleeding. It was smeared on my legs and now on him. “I want you. Again.”
“Oh, Cadence. Maybe we should wait.”
“No.”
“Well, I don’t know if I can . . .” He looked down and realized he could.
He made love to me again, just as gentle yet demanding as before, and then he put me in a bath, poured me wine, and gave me “alone time.” And I counted myself as one of the most fortunate girls in the world, that my first time was so special and sweet and meaningful.
Ours was a dream world for the next four weeks.
Nobody can live in a dream world forever. Reality takes care of that. And I realized I was starting to get sloppy with my deceit. I nearly had a heart attack when I came home late from Mark’s on Friday evening.
“Where were you?” Dad asked.
“What do you mean? I was with Avery.”
“I called.”
I froze. There was a jolt, a squeeze on the heart, and I knew my world had ended.
“I called Avery’s mother. She said you left the event early,” Dad said. “Where were you?”
I had no choice. I had to lie again. A lie on top of a lie. It was becoming increasingly hard to breathe.
“I lied,” I began.
“I know that, Cadence. So now tell me where you were.”
“I went to the mall.”
“The mall?”
“I figured you wouldn’t let me go, so I left early. I just . . . it’s been a long time since I went shopping. I miss it, Dad. I figured you’d say no. I’m sorry.”
I wanted to kill Avery. I had texted her and she responded with a winking emoticon. Fucking Avery. She was the most careful person I know. What the hell happened that she couldn’t remember that I was supposed to be with her?
“Where are your purchases?”
I thought quickly. “I didn’t make any because I didn’t tell you I went. Why would I walk in here with bags of clothes?”
“Why would you lie to me about the mall, Cadence? It’s not even a big deal. You’ve shown you’re trustworthy. I wouldn’t have said no.”