Going Under

“I’m just kidding, Wright! Jesus, calm down,” he said.

“Do you want me to pay you?” I asked. I hadn’t thought about it until now. I didn’t know if Terry did jobs for other people, but I’m sure if he did, he got paid for them.

“You’re a waitress, Wright,” Terry said. “So no.”

I rolled my eyes.

“And anyway, it wouldn’t feel right taking money from you,” he said. “Not over this.”

I nodded. “Hey, did you bring the Game 1 printout for me?”

Terry reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. “What are you planning to do with this?”

“I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

That night I sat on my bed cross-referencing names of girls with their pictures in last year’s yearbook. I found two girls I immediately wanted to talk to. They both scored points for going all the way, and they were labeled “Good Girls.” I basically wanted to find out if the sex was consensual. It wouldn’t eliminate Hunter and Tim completely as possible rape suspects, but I thought it was a start. I’d have to get Terry to dig around and find older games to be sure.

Melissa and Tara. They were both juniors this year. It would be difficult to find a reason to talk to them, and even then, I couldn’t come right out and ask if they’d had consensual sex with Hunter and Tim. I had to find a way to extract the information gingerly, and I wasn’t the best at being ginger. I thought I failed miserably with Lucy and simply got lucky that she offered information, however vague, about cheerleading and Cal.

God must have been smiling on me the following day at school because I spotted Melissa walking down the hallway towards me. I had no plan. I tried to devise one the previous night but could think of nothing. The closer she came, the more I freaked out until I made a split-second decision and started running, slamming into her in a head-on collision. It didn’t help that she was wearing heels, and she toppled backwards, landing on the floor with a loud thunk before I could grab her. Her head hit the hard tiles and she moaned. God, I actually hurt her. Badly. I scrambled to help her up.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” And it wasn’t a fake apology. I meant it. “Let me help you.”

“I’m dizzy,” she mumbled, reaching vainly for her book bag a few feet away.

“I’ll totally get your stuff. Just let me help you up. I think I need to take you to the nurse,” I said.

She nodded dumbly and allowed me to pull her into a sitting position. She rubbed the back of her head and looked at me strangely.

“I’m dizzy,” she repeated, as though she were saying it for the first time.

Oh my God. If I gave this girl a concussion, I’d never forgive myself. I pulled her to her feet and let her lean on me as we made our way to the nurse.

The nurse forced me to wait outside for Melissa, which really pissed me off. I actually wanted to sit with her and hold her hand because I felt so horrible.

I had no idea how long I sat in the hallway before Melissa emerged looking better, if noticeably bruised. I couldn’t see the actual bruise on her head but it was in her mannerisms. She still wasn’t quite right. She seemed sedated, slightly out of focus, and when I apologized to her again, she looked at me as if wondering, Who are you?

“Melissa, I owe you big time. Lemme do something for you to make it up to you. I feel horrible for running into you,” I said.

“How do you know my name?” she asked, walking with me down the hallway.

“Uh . . . doesn’t everyone?” I asked. “I mean, aren’t you a cheerleader?”

“No.”

Shit. That must have been Tara.

“Well, I heard it somewhere,” I said.

She didn’t seem to like that.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“I’m Brooke,” I said. “Listen, I was just so spaced out. My mind has been going crazy lately, and I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“It’s okay,” Melissa said.

“Well, I feel awful,” I went on. “I’m just in this weird place right now, you know? I’ve got this guy I really like, but he’s putting pressure on me to do it, you know? I mean, not like you care or anything, but I’ve got no girlfriends to talk to about it. I’m new here, by the way, which would account for the no girlfriends thing.”

I heard myself talking, like I had stepped outside my body and was watching the scene as an interested third party.

“You don’t want any advice from me right now,” Melissa said. “I don’t think I’m all there yet.”

I grunted. “Again, sorry. I don’t know why I’m running my mouth to you. You’re a complete stranger. I guess I’m just dying for some female advice. I mean, I’m really freaking out.”

It was lame, but I was praying it’d work.

“Well, you shouldn’t have sex until you’re ready. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it,” Melissa said, rubbing the back of her head.

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