Ryan paused for the briefest second then shook his head. “I’m jealous for you.”
My heart skipped a beat then settled into an uneven rhythm. I begged him silently to say those words again, and he read my mind.
“I’m jealous for you, and he’s an asshole.”
“Okay,” I replied, grinning.
When I brought the boys their lunch, I made sure to serve them in my best I-love-being-a-waitress-and-working-at-a-diner impersonation. Everyone looked satisfied except for Cal, who was seething at Ryan’s defiance. I decided to fan the flame. How much did Cal really want me?
“Cal, is everything okay?” I asked. It was super sweet and disgusting all rolled into one.
Cal nodded. “What are you doing tonight?”
That caught me off guard. “Well, I . . . um . . .”
“Wanna go to the movies?” Cal asked.
Okay. Yes, I thought that Cal liked me a little. I think he saw me as one big conquest that would be harder than his others, and he liked the challenge. I didn’t fawn all over him like most girls. I think he saw it as part of my charm. It wasn’t strategy on my part. Truthfully, I just kept getting distracted. And that was mostly Ryan’s fault. I thought I should ask my dad about getting tested for ADD though I knew he didn’t believe such disorders existed. This guy was ridiculous, though. The second he feared competition, he was ready to date me.
“I have plans, actually,” I said. No, I wasn’t forfeiting a golden opportunity. I was taking one instead. I wouldn’t pass up the chance to spend an evening with Ryan. And I knew that if Cal suspected Ryan and I had plans, he would blow a gasket. Was I using Ryan? Absolutely not, but I couldn’t deny the advantage our date would give me over Cal. I thought in that deluded moment I could have both boys: Ryan, the boy I saw myself truly falling in love with, and Cal, the boy who would use me and then regret it.
“What plans?” Cal asked, glancing at Ryan.
“Just plans,” I said. “But maybe next weekend.”
Cal grunted.
Parker piped up. “Well, everything seems to be right.” His tone held a note of confusion mixed with surprise as thought he expected I’d mess up the orders. I smiled sweetly.
“And I didn’t even have to write them down,” I said, then turned my back on them and walked away.
***
“I feel shallow,” I admitted, not looking at him. I was sitting on Ryan’s bed that afternoon after work.
“Why?”
“Because I’m so drawn to you and I really don’t know anything about you. Is it just your looks?” I asked.
“Is it?”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t think so. I think there’s a lot more, but you’re not telling me.”
Ryan rubbed his jaw. “I’m a Big Brother,” he offered after a moment.
“I know that. I’ve met Kaylen.”
“No,” he laughed. “For the Boys and Girls Club.”
“Ohhh. They take people that young?” I asked.
“Well, not usually, but I was pretty insistent. That, and I had a few strings pulled.”
“Why?” I asked.
He shook his head and grinned. “Because I’m trying to be a better person, Brooke.”
So was I. I almost said it out loud, but I didn’t want him to ask me how or why I was trying to be better.
“What? You’ve got sins to atone for?” I asked lightly.
“Doesn’t everyone?”
“Most people just pray,” I said. “Doesn’t take as much effort as volunteer work.”
Ryan chuckled at my irreverence. “Praying only goes so far, I think,” and I chuckled at his.
“So tell me about your Little Brother,” I said and patted the bed, inviting him to join me.
“His name’s Chester,” Ryan replied, sitting down.
“Okay. That’s not a name,” I said.
Ryan laughed. “Well, for this kid it is.”
I nodded, wanting him to continue.
“He’d be considered your typical white trash kid. Ten years old. So-so home life. I tutor him a lot and take him for pizza. He loves pizza. He wants to join the Marines when he grows up, and I asked him why the Marines and not some other branch of the military.”
“And?”
“His father was a Marine,” Ryan said. “He died a few years back.”
“Oh.”
“He’s a pretty good kid. I got on to him, though, when I found out he got in a fight at school.”
“You sound like you really enjoy doing this,” I said.
“I do. I mean, it can get exhausting, and sometimes I don’t wanna hang out, but I’m so glad when I do because he seems genuinely happy to see me. His favorite is kicking around the soccer ball. He wants to play in middle school,” Ryan said.
“You play soccer?”
“Used to. Tore up my leg pretty badly last year, so I quit. The doctors said I was okay to play, but I didn’t want to risk damaging it more.”
“Don’t trust doctors?”
“Don’t trust anyone, really,” he said.
“Do you trust me?” I asked.
“I don’t know you,” he said.
“I know.” My face fell, and I thought it was a stupid reaction. Of course he didn’t know me. Did I expect him to trust a person he didn’t know?