“I said you’re not ready.”
I huffed. “I’m not a virgin, you know. I mean, I’m no expert in that area, but I’ve done it before.”
Ryan smiled wearily. “I didn’t say it had anything to do with being an expert.”
“Okay, so what’s the problem?”
“There’s no problem. You’re just not ready yet.”
Before I could argue, he rolled me over again, pinning me to the bed.
“Now, there are some things you’re ready for,” he said, sliding his hand up my stomach and to my breast. He rolled his thumb over my nipple eliciting breathy cries. “Like this.” He watched me squirm, arching my back, pushing my breast into his hand.
He moved his hand down the front of my body, slipping it underneath my yoga pants until his fingers were between my legs. I drew in my breath sharply. “And this.”
He rubbed me gently, watching my face as his fingers explored my sensitive flesh. I twisted my body, pumping my hips, asking him silently to slide his finger inside me. He seemed to know it, and refrained, playing a game with me I wasn’t sure I liked. I turned my face to the side, determined not to beg him.
“Look at me, Brooklyn,” Ryan said. His fingers continued to tease me mercilessly. I ached and wanted to scream for it.
“No.”
“Why not?”
I squirmed, fighting for or against his hand. I wasn’t sure, but the sexual frustration was starting to turn me bitchy. I needed him to stop toying with me and get on with the program!
“Please?” Ryan asked softly.
“No.”
He chuckled at my petulance, slipping his finger inside of me as I moaned relief for finally getting what I wanted. I turned my face to him once more, and he kissed me deeply, muffling my cries, swirling his tongue with mine while his finger did something quite similar down below. I bucked.
“Lie still,” he ordered.
He was asking the impossible from me. I shook my head.
“I can’t,” I argued.
“I want you to lie still, Brooklyn,” he said, staying his hand until I obeyed. “And when I make you come, I want you to keep still.”
“I can’t!”
“Try,” he said, and kissed my lips once more, touching me, rubbing me tenderly until I felt the inevitable build, a pregnant ball of electricity, one in each of my ankles, shooting sporadic sparks up my legs.
“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” I cried, trying desperately to hold still as the sparks kept coming. More of them and faster.
“You can,” Ryan said, watching me intently as he continued his incessant touching.
I was ripped in two. Paralyzed. I couldn’t move if I tried. I opened my mouth to make a sound, but even my vocal chords were paralyzed. At least for the first explosion. The second had me screaming until my throat went raw. The third had me begging him to stop. The explosions soon petered out until I was left lying numb in a state of semi-consciousness, dazed and stupid.
“What was that?” I asked. My throat hurt, and the words came out scratchy like sandpaper.
“That was you having an orgasm,” Ryan replied. It was so matter-of-fact that it made me laugh.
“How did you do that to me? What? Are you some kind of expert or something?” I asked. I needed water.
“Hardly.”
“Hardly” my ass. I think the whole neighborhood heard me.
“I think it’s just you,” he said, and leaned down to kiss my cheek. “Is that cheesy?”
No. Not cheesy. Too hot for words.
I smiled and shook my head.
“Do you need some water or something?” Ryan asked. “You were screaming like a banshee.”
I smacked his arm. And then I nodded.
Ryan moved to stand up, but I caught his arm.
“Ryan, why are you doing all these incredible things to me, but you won’t let me do things to you? And don’t say I’m not ready yet.”
Ryan thought for a moment.
“Do you think the things I do to you are solely for your pleasure?” he asked.
I was dumbfounded.
“I’m not looking for things to be even between us, Brooke,” Ryan said after a moment. “I’m looking for them to be right.”
I didn’t think I understood the definition of selflessness until that moment. It was too heavenly. No one was that good. And for the first time, I wondered about Ryan’s secret sins.
***