“You’ve had a problem with me since I accidentally ran into you in the hallway at school. I’m soooo sorry I ran into you. It was a freaking accident. But you know what wasn’t an accident? You tripping me on the bleachers.” I looked at Cal. “That’s right. Your little buddy here tripped me. That’s why I fell into you.”
“Get a grip,” Parker said. “Nobody tripped you. And I don’t have a problem with you.”
I snorted. “Okay. Whatever.”
Cal looked at Gretchen, who shrugged her shoulders. A waitress walked by, and Cal asked for a pitcher of beer.
“I’ll need to see your ID and all of theirs,” she said.
“Oh, they’re not drinking. It’s for me,” he said, and handed the woman a fake ID. She studied it and then studied Cal. She looked unsure about whether she believed him, but then made up her mind to not care.
“Bud Light?” she asked. “It’s on special tonight.”
“Sounds perfect.”
I turned back to face the pins. What a jerk. Did he think about the fact that he needed to drive me home later? This night was shaping up to be the worst date in history. Thank God I brought cab fare.
I rolled the ball down a fraction of the lane before it settled into the gutter. I cursed profusely in my head, wondering if I wouldn’t just abscond the pitcher of beer and make a run for it. I could drink it while I walked home.
My second try was slightly better. I managed to knock over one pin. It teetered for awhile and was painful to watch.
I heard Gretchen behind me saying, “You can do it, pin! I know you can!” and Cal telling her that she wasn’t supposed to be cheering for the opponent.
I walked back to the group and plopped down beside my teammate.
“Well, let’s see if you can beat that,” I said. Parker actually chuckled.
Gretchen bowled next, and Cal cheered for her as loudly as possible. I admit my feelings were kind of hurt. My partner didn’t cheer for me. Cal was supposed to be my partner. This was our date. Why was he partners with Gretchen? I felt like he was punishing me, and it made me unreasonably sensitive.
Parker’s first bowl was a strike. Big deal. His second bowl was a strike, too. Slightly bigger deal. He sauntered back over to me and lifted his hand in the air. Did he expect me to high-five him? Get real.
“Come on, grouch,” Parker said. “I promise to stop being mean to you if you’ll high-five me.”
I stared at him perplexed. “Just like that? Yeah right. You know, I don’t know what your problem was with me in the first place.”
“Look, I was having a bad day, okay?” he said.
“Are you serious? So you were having a bad day when I ran into you at school? And another one when I took Gretchen away from you at the party? And another when you freaking tripped me on the bleachers? You know, I could have broken a tooth or something!”
“Take it easy,” Parker said.
“You take it easy,” I snapped. “Oh yeah. I almost forgot the diner! Were you having a bad day then when you insulted me?”
Parker rubbed his forehead.
“Yeah, rub your forehead. It’s sooo exasperating being called out for acting like a complete asshole.”
“Anyone care to watch me bowl?” Cal asked, grabbing his ball from the ball return.
“Sure!” Gretchen said. She smiled at me. It was a smile that said, “I don’t have a clue what’s going on right now, and so help me God, you’re gonna tell me everything when this horrible group date is over.”
I returned my own smile. It said, “How many years would I get for bashing Parker’s head in with my bowling ball?”
Cal bowled, and Gretchen and I acted impressed because we figured that’s what he wanted. I knew in my heart I annihilated any chance of setting him up for rape charges. It was the most ludicrous feeling: disappointment for ruining my chances of getting pseudo-sexually assaulted. I thought up until now I was simply teetering on the edge of insanity. Now I knew I had toppled over, and I wasn’t sure where to go from there. I didn’t know what Beth would have me do, and as I sat beside one nemesis while watching the other bowl a spare, I wanted to cry for my failure.
Fourteen
It was time to get to work. I woke up Monday morning with a new resolution. Well, several resolutions. Number One: Make Beth a priority. Remember my purpose. Number Two: Discover the rest of the boys in the Fantasy Slut League responsible for raping girls. Number Three: Warn the girls scheduled to play in the next game about the boys’ intentions. (I wasn’t sure how to go about this yet, but it was one of my resolutions.) Number Four: Make Ryan fall in love with me.