“What are you doing?” she asked as they approached the door.
“I need to hold you in my arms, and I think that you need to be held. That damn sofa is too narrow for both of us. Please.” He led her to the bed and positioned himself on his back with open arms, inviting her to wrap herself around him.
She hesitated. “What about Rebecca?”
“She won’t disturb us.”
Julia was unwilling to return to his bed simply because he invited her, and so she looked around for something, anything, to distract him.
“What are these?” She pointed at what looked like two groupings of large picture frames that were leaning against one of the walls and covered by a sheet.
“Look at them.”
Julia crouched down on the hardwood floor and removed the sheet. There were about ten large photographs, stacked in two groups of five, all black and white. All featured Julia. Some included Gabriel.
She hadn’t seen most of them before as they had been framed after their separation. There were photographs from Belize, from Italy, and posed photographs that had served as part of her Christmas present to Gabriel. All were startlingly beautiful and amative.
“It was difficult for me to look at them when I thought I’d lost you. But as you can see, I kept them.”
Gabriel watched as Julia looked through the photographs once more before studying his favorite, a picture of her lying on her stomach on a bed in Belize.
“What happened to the old ones? The ones you had before you met me?”
“Long gone. I didn’t need or want them anymore.”
She placed the sheet over the pictures before walking to the bed. She looked conflicted.
Gabriel reached out his hand. “Relax. I just want to hold you.”
She allowed herself to be pulled into his arms so she could nestle against his chest.
“That’s better,” he murmured, kissing her forehead. “I want to earn your trust and your respect. I want to be your husband.”
Julia was quiet for a moment, holding her breath, as his words sunk into her consciousness. “I want us to take things slowly. No more talk of marriage.”
“Fortunately, I can wait.” He kissed her once again.
This time, the kiss escalated. Hands roamed to find purchase on muscles and curves, mouths connected determinedly, punctuated by sighs and almost breathless moans, hearts began to beat faster. It was a kiss to mark a reunion, to pledge the continuation of fidelity and love. Gabriel kissed her to show her that he loved her, that he was sorry.
Julia kissed him back to tell him that she could never give her heart to anyone else. That she was hopeful their shared imperfections, once acknowledged and explored, could be ameliorated in order to provide both of them with a healthy, happy life.
She pulled away first. She could hear his quickened breathing, and it cheered her that they still had this spark between them.
“I don’t expect our relationship to be perfect. But there are some things we need to work out and whether that takes a therapist or not, I know it’s going to take time.”
He met her gaze. “I agree. I want to be able to court you as I was unable to back in Toronto. I want to hold your hand as we walk down the street. I’d like to take you to the symphony and kiss you on your front steps.”
Julia laughed. “We were lovers, Gabriel. You have photographs of the two of us in bed together, just over there. Would you really be satisfied with simply courting me?”
He wove their fingers together. “I want the chance to make things up to you—to treat you the way I should have treated you all along.”
“You were always very generous in bed,” she deflected.
“But selfish in other ways. Which is why I won’t make love to you until I regain your trust.”
Chapter 47
“Come again?”
At least, that’s what Julia wanted to say, but given the context she held her tongue. Somehow, her remark didn’t quite seem consonant with his declaration.
“I’m worried that if we have sex, it will short circuit the kind of changes we need to make.”
“So you want to wait?”
He gave her a scorching look. “No, Julianne, I don’t want to wait. I want to make love to you now and for the rest of the week. I know we should wait.”
Her eyes widened as she realized that he was serious.
He kissed her tenderly. “If we’re going to be partners, there has to be trust. If you don’t trust me with your mind, how can you trust me with your body?”
“I think you said that once before.”