“Then tell me what you want. Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”
She shook her head. “I want us to figure things out together. And that will take time.”
*
Soon it was too warm to sit outside, so Gabriel and Julia returned to the house and settled themselves in the living room. He reclined on the leather sofa, while Julia made herself comfortable in one of the red velvet chairs.
“Should we address the elephant in the room?” she asked.
He nodded, suddenly tense.
“Um, I’ll start. I want to get to know you again. I want to be your partner.”
“I want you to be a good deal more than that,” whispered Gabriel.
Julia shook her head vehemently. “It’s too soon. You took away my choices, Gabriel. You have to stop doing that or we aren’t going to get very far.”
His face fell.
“What is it?” she asked, dreading his answer.
“I don’t regret trying to save your career. I wish we could have come to a consensus about it. But when I saw you in danger, I reacted. And what’s more, so would you if I were in danger.”
Julia felt her anger rise. “So this whole conversation, your apologies, mean nothing?”
“Of course not! I should have talked to you before I did anything. But if you expect me to be the sort of man who watches the woman he loves lose her dreams, then I can’t meet your expectations. I’m sorry.”
Julia flushed a brilliant red. “So we’re right back where we started?”
“I didn’t hold it against you when you went out of your way to protect me from Christa, or from the committee. I didn’t hold your harassment email against you, even though we both agree it was a mistake. Can’t you give me the same consideration? Can’t you give me grace, Julianne? Your grace?”
Despite his pleading tone, Julia wasn’t listening. At that moment, all she heard was Gabriel discounting her objections. Again.
She shook her head and walked to the door.
Here was the fork in the road, where the paths diverged. She could walk through the door, and everything with Gabriel would be over. There would be no third chance. Or she could stay, knowing that he refused to see his damned heroics in front of the committee as anything problematic.
She hesitated.
“Let me love you, Julianne. The way that you should be loved.”
He stood behind her, his lips vibrating against her ear. She could feel the warmth of his body radiating through her clothes and against her back.
“I am your faithful one, Beatrice. Of course I want to protect you. Nothing will change that.”
“I would rather have had you than Harvard.”
“Now you can have both.”
She turned around. “At what cost? Don’t tell me that our situation didn’t damage us, possibly irreparably.”
He brushed her hair over one shoulder and pressed his lips to the bare side of her neck. “Forgive me. I promise I won’t rob you of your dignity or our partnership. But I won’t stand by and watch you get hurt when I can prevent it. Don’t make me to revert to being a selfish bastard.”
In stubborn annoyance, Julia took a step toward the door, but Gabriel caught her arm.
“In a perfect world, there would always be communication and consultation between partners. But we don’t live in that world. There are emergencies and dangerous, vindictive people. Is my desire to keep you from harm so great a sin that you would leave me over it?”
When she remained silent, he continued. “I will do my utmost to make decisions with you and not for you. But I make no apologies for wanting you to be safe and happy. I won’t be beholden to the rule that I have to consult you before I act in cases of emergency.
“You want me to treat you like an equal. I want the same treatment. That means that you need to trust me to make the best decision I can, given the information I have, without being omniscient. Or perfect.”
“I’d rather have you alive and carrying your shield than have you dead and covered by it.” She sounded obstinate.
Gabriel laughed. “I think the battle of Thermopylae is behind us, darling. But I share your sentiment and would ask the same of you. My little warrior.”
He kissed her neck again. “Take my ring.” He quickly slipped the wedding ring from his left hand and held it over her right shoulder. “I wore this to signify the fact that my heart, my life was yours.”
She hesitantly took the ring from his hand and slipped it on one of her thumbs.
“I’ll sell this damn house. I only bought it to be close to you. But I can find an apartment until we choose a home together.”
“You just moved in. And I know you love the garden.” Julia sighed.
“Then tell me what you want. We can take our time without making promises about the future. But please forgive me. Teach me, and I promise I will be your most willing student.”
When she was silent and unmoving for several minutes, Gabriel took her hand, leading her from the living room upstairs to his bedroom.