Gabriel rolled her so she was wholly in his arms and on top of his chest, their upper bodies pressed together.
He kissed her gently at first, soft skin gliding over softer skin before he pulled her lower lip between his, drawing on it slightly. Then as his embrace became more heated, his hand clasped around her neck, stroking up and down until he felt her relax.
The barest tip of his tongue moved forward to tease her upper lip, the act of a gentleman who was unsure how he would be received. He needn’t have worried. Julia welcomed him, and he began to explore her mouth with purpose, catching her almost unawares before pulling back without warning.
“Does that seem cold to you?” His warm breath blew across her cheek, a hungry look in his eyes. “Does that feel as if I don’t want you?”
She would have shaken her head if she could have found it.
Gabriel moved his lips against her jaw, her chin, and painstakingly slowly down the left side of her neck until he was kissing the hollow at the base of her throat.
“And this? Does this seem cold to you?” His mouth moved against the surface of her skin.
“N-No.” She shivered.
He traced his nose up to her ear where he began to nibble, in between whispered adorations.
“How about this?” His right hand slowly descended her side, tracing each rib as if it were precious or perhaps as if he were searching for the primordial one Adam had lost. He shifted her slightly so her thigh slid over his hip, coming into contact with the undeniable evidence of his ardor.
“Can you deny this?”
“No.”
Gabriel gazed at her heatedly. “Now that we’re clear on that point, I’m interested to hear your response.”
Julia found it difficult to reason clasped to his body the way she was. She began to squirm, and he squeezed her more tightly.
“There was no one else. My arms were full even when I was alone. But if you were to tell me you’d fallen in love with someone else and that you were happy, I’d let you go. Even though it would break me.” He grimaced and dropped his voice to a whisper. “I’ll love you forever, Julianne, whether you love me or not. That’s my Heaven. And my Hell.”
The room echoed with silence for several minutes, and Julia placed a shaking hand over her mouth. Slow, steady tears poured down her face.
“What is it?” He tugged at her a couple of times before he was able to coax her to cry against his chest. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His voice was desperate, as he quickly rubbed his hand up and down her arm.
It took a few minutes for Julia to be able to compose herself enough to speak. “You love me.”
Gabriel’s face immediately contorted in confusion. “Is that a question?”
When she didn’t respond him, he began to panic. “You didn’t believe that I loved you? But I told you that I loved you over and over again. I tried to show you with my actions, with my words, with my body. Did you not believe me?”
She shook her head from side to side, as if indicating that he didn’t understand.
“Did you ever believe me? When we were in Italy? When we were in Belize?” He tugged painfully at his hair. “My God, Julia, did you make me your first thinking that I merely liked you?”
“No.”
“Then why do you only believe that I love you now?”
“You’d let me go so I could be happy, even if it was with someone else.”
Two tears streamed down her cheek, and he caught them with his fingers. “That’s what happens when you love someone. You want them to be happy.”
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and Gabriel watched a teardrop slide over the wedding ring she was wearing on her thumb.
“When I found the illustration of St. Francis and Guido de Montefeltro, I didn’t understand why you put it there. But it’s clear to me now. You were worried the university was going to ruin my life. Rather than let it happen, you took my place. You loved me enough to let me go, even though it would break your heart.”
“Julia, I…” Gabriel’s protestation was cut short by the warmth of her lips melting against his. It was chaste and sorrowful, erotic and joyous.
She had never felt herself worthy of agape before. It wasn’t a goal she aspired to or a grail that she sought. When Gabriel first told her that he loved her, she believed him. But the magnitude and depth of his love was not readily apparent. It had only become clear to her at this moment, and with that revelation came a tremendous sense of awe.
Perhaps Gabriel’s love had always been sacrificial. Perhaps it had grown over time, just like the old apple tree that fed them on that night so long ago, and she just hadn’t noticed how much it had grown.