My eyes had been trained on the ceiling for the past twenty minutes. I still hadn’t wound down from spending the evening out with Nina and Andrea. They insisted on dragging me along for their evening of club hopping, which concluded with a late night run to some taco place that’s open 24-hours. I glanced over at the clock – 5 a.m. I was tired enough that I should’ve dozed by this point, but just couldn’t seem to relax. I turned over on my side and gazed out the window only to have my eyes settle on AJ’s building. A heavy sigh left my lungs and Deanna shifted in her bed.
Being this close to him with everything that’d happened had me seriously thinking about letting this be my last year at Charleston. If he didn’t transfer this summer, I would. Avoiding him was becoming next to impossible, making it difficult to heal. God…why can’t I just be over him already. Two months had passed and the wounds still felt just as fresh as they did day one. The few times I’d seen him without him seeing me, I spiraled back into depression, missing him and wishing that I could turn back the hands of time – going back to a happier time…or back to a time before I knew that he even existed.
Two very persistent guys attempted to ask me out, but I wasn’t even interested. Unfortunately, I still have it in the back of my mind that I have to be faithful to AJ. It felt absurd admitting that to myself, but it was the truth. Whether I liked it or not, AJ still had my heart in a vice. My mission, however, was to make myself as scarce as possible so he’d get the impression that I was over him. The sooner he accepted that, the sooner the phone calls, text messages, emails, and notes underneath my door would stop. As painful as it was for me to reject his advances time and time again, it had to be that way. I couldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him thanks to the truckload of lies he’d heaped on top of our relationship.
In an effort to stay off campus, I found myself hanging with Antonio on occasion. Maybe we clicked because both of our hearts had been broken inadvertently by the same person, or maybe it was simply that we actually had the capacity to be good friends despite our past. I liked to think it was the latter. At least once a week, we went to dinner or a movie or just hung out at his apartment. In a way, he was my safe haven while I waited for the storm between AJ and I to blow over. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. AJ and Terrell had gotten close and I could only expect Deanna to be my shoulder to lean on to a point; she had her own life to live. It just seemed to work out for everyone that Antonio and I managed to find some sort of neutral ground where we could exist as friends without the awkwardness that seemed to consume us before. Having him around was actually…nice.
When I finally drifted and awoke at around noon the next day, I’d missed a call from Antonio. Still groggy, I dialed his number.
“Hey,” he said sounding like he’d been up and out for hours already.
“Hay,” I groaned.
After a short laugh, he asked, “Long night?”
I flipped over on my back and stared at the ceiling. “You could say that. What you up to?”
“Nothing really. I wanna check out that new, Nicolas Cage movie, though. That’s why I’m calling. You got plans tonight?”
I thought over my schedule…my empty schedule. “Nope. I’m free. What time?”
“There’s one starting at eight.”
I yawned before replying. “Sounds good. I’ll meet you at the theater.”
The long pause on the other end of the phone made me open my closed eyes again.
“We should get dinner first. I could pick you up,” he offered.
Despite how I felt about AJ at the moment, I wasn’t comfortable with the possibility of him, or anyone else, seeing Antonio show up at my door. For that reason, I declined his offer. “Antonio…listen…I just think that’d be a bit much. I’m cool with dinner of course, but I think I should drive myself. Coming here to pick me up just…it isn’t a good idea.”
I imagined Terrell trying to assert himself as my big brother if he caught me leaving with Antonio. It wouldn’t be a good situation for anyone.
There was the slightest hint of disappointment in his tone when he answered. “Oh, no…yeah…I understand. You can just meet me here, then. That’s cool.”
“So if we do dinner first, is six good?” I tried to sound as enthusiastic as I could, thinking I’d hurt his feelings.
“Yeah, that’s perfect.”