“Sam, no….no, no, no, this isn’t what it looks like,” AJ insisted, tugging on a pair of jeans beneath his towel while I backed out of his room.
“Do you ever stop lying!?!?” I screamed. “I was actually on your side! I came over here thinking you were hurt or something, but…” I gestured toward the girl and shook my head. I couldn’t even finish my sentence. The thought entered my head that I’d been sharing him with her, and God knows who else, for God knows how long. All that time I thought that what we had was different. How stupid could I have been?
“Sam, please –“
“I’m done, AJ…DONE!!” I screamed. He grabbed my arm and I whirled around to shove him away. Completely ignoring my attempt to distance myself, he followed me out into the hallway.
“If you’ve never believed me on anything before, believe me on this; I don’t know what she’s doing here!” He said desperately.
“Get your hands off me,” I hissed when he tried to grab my arm again as I stormed down the first flight of stairs.
Every dark emotion you can think of emerged from the shadows of my mind – anger, fear ,hatred, disgust, disappointment, betrayal, sadness, and pain, just to name a few. My face was soaked with tears as my mind rewound our entire year together, and I realized that it’d all been for nothing. All of it. The sacrifices. The loss. All of it. I couldn’t make sense of anything. Why would he go through the trouble of following me here, buying me this ring, the tattoo? Maybe he just thought he could have his cake and eat it too. Listen to me trying to rationalize it…
“Sam, wait!”
I ignored his plea. “Don’t ever call me again. Don’t come to my room. Just leave me alone!” I couldn’t focus on any of the faces I passed. Pushing past the gathering crowd, I stormed out of AJ’s building.
He’d been sleeping with that girl behind my back – holding her, touching her, kissing her…. The idea of it sickened me and I wanted to erase my memory of him completely. Does he lie and tell her that he loves her, too? When we make love is he thinking about her? I’d never hated anyone as much as I hated him at that very moment. My entire world came crashing down that night and AJ was at fault.
Without having to turn around, I knew that the footsteps behind me were AJ’s. Finally catching up to me, he wrapped his bare arms around my body from behind, preventing me from running away. My breath crystallized in the cold winter air as I fought against him as hard as I could. He wouldn’t budge. People were watching us curiously as we struggled with one another; me trying to get away and him trying with all his might to keep me there.
“Just let me go,” I yelled in between sobs. “I can’t believe he was right about you!”
“Who? Sam, I haven’t done anything!”
I ignored his plea, now thoroughly convinced that every word that ever left his mouth was a lie.
“I know that looked bad, but I had no idea she was in my room! You found out before I did! I got in the shower and the next thing I know, the two of you are in my room,” he explained. “Sam, I swear…”
I shook my head wildly, still not believing what I’d seen. AJ turned me around and made me face him again only to lower his head at the sight of my tears.
“AJ, just…stop,” I begged. “There’s nothing you can say to change my mind. I know what I saw, and now I know why you didn’t tell me about her and her family staying at your house over break. That is the same girl, right?”
He didn’t answer, which was a ‘yes’ as far as I was concerned.
“You kept that a secret for a reason. If someone hadn’t seen you out with her, you never would’ve even told me that much!” He couldn’t look me in my eye and I took that as a sign that he realized that his half-truths and secrets had finally caught up to him. “I’m done,” I said firmly, and I meant it.