Nearly twenty minutes had passed since AJ left. It doesn’t take anyone that long to get ice. I tried his phone a few times, but he wasn’t answering. I was just getting ready to go look for him when he walked back through the door, full bucket of ice in hand, expression tense.
“Everything ok?” I asked, watching as he set the bucket down beside the television. He didn’t respond aloud, just nodded while still deep in thought. Before I could say anything else, room service knocked at the door. I answered, got everything set up, and then sat waiting for AJ to join me, but instead he lay back on the bed with his arm across his forehead to block the light from his eyes.
“Do you have a headache or something? I have Aspirin in my purse if you need it,” I offered, still wondering where he’d been all this time. When he turned to look at me, the stress was more visible on his face than before.
“No, I’m good. Just go ahead and start without me. I’m not that hungry,” he replied. I ate in silence, alone, waiting for AJ, but he continued to lie on the bed staring up at the ceiling. He was so still that when he arose to walk toward the bathroom it startled me a little.
I’d cleared my place and sat on the edge of the bed before he returned. His expression hadn’t changed at all, but he was a little more talkative. “Sorry I’m a so preoccupied. I talked to my dad again while I was out of the room and it didn’t go so well. That’s what took so long.” He must’ve seen my expression because he quickly amended his statement. “It didn’t have anything to do with you, just some family stuff.”
“If you need to talk you know I’m here to listen,” I said sympathetically. AJ was still in a somber mood and I didn’t fully understand what his father could’ve said that upset him so much; especially seeing as how it wasn’t anything about our relationship – Mr. Hahn’s usual target for his negativity.
“I hate to bring up the past, but do you mind if I ask you something?” AJ asked sounding mildly distraught.
“What’s on your mind?”
He exhaled and leaned his head to the side thoughtfully as he spoke. “After what happened with you and your dad last year on your birthday, how did you two recover from that? I remember you were really angry with him, but now you two seem to be in a good place. How’d you get to that point?”
AJ’s question took me back to a place down memory lane that I hadn’t visited in a long time. I’d of course not forgotten about my dad hitting me, but it was no longer in the forefront of my mind. “Well, after he apologized I stepped back and looked at the situation differently. Although he’s my father, he’s also human. He makes mistakes just like I do and I can’t hold his faults over his head forever. I basically made up my mind that I wasn’t gonna let one small mistake put distance between us.”
AJ thought for a moment. “But what if your father had never apologized for hurting you, maybe didn’t even realize that he owed you that? Would you have been able to forgive him then?”
I had to weigh my response very heavily. “I would’ve forgiven him eventually, but I would’ve also put limitations on the relationship. Things would be very different than they are now.”
He didn’t respond right away. The pained look returned and I wanted to comfort him, but didn’t know how to because I still wasn’t sure what the problem was.
“I just don’t get him,” AJ said quietly. He leaned back on the bed in defeat and pulled me onto his chest.
“All I can say is, I know your father loves you and I don’t think he’d intentionally do anything to hurt you. Even when he doesn’t go about something the way you think he should, I believe that he only wants what’s best for you,” I replied.
AJ stroked my arm as he lie there thinking. “How can you say that about him when he’s treated you the way he has?” There was a hint of hostility in his tone that I was sure was aimed at his father and not me.