“It’s like I said about my father; they make mistakes because they’re imperfect just like us. It’s not like the things he says about me are true anyway. I wish that things could be different, but I just have to accept that I may not get my way on this one.”
AJ was quiet again and I knew he was hurting more on the inside than he’d ever let on. “There’s so much I wanna tell you,” he exhaled, sounding sad and frustrated all at the same time. I had no idea what was going on, but whatever the issue, it was definitely taking a toll on him.
Chapter3
Sam
When I awoke the next morning, AJ was already in the shower…..again. I stretched, dragged myself from the bed, and settled in beside the window to take in the scenery. It felt like I’d just lain down and now the sun was up again. Clearly too preoccupied to sleep, AJ tossed and turned most of the night, which in turn kept me up, and also reminded me of him passing out almost as soon as we got to the hotel the day before. His excuse for being so tired then, too, was that he hadn’t slept well the night before.
This being AJ’s 19th birthday, I was almost certain that he’d come out of that bathroom fronting and acting like everything was okay. He’d put on a big, fake smile and try to sell me on his good mood. Too bad for him, I knew better. Regardless of how impervious he pretends to be, his big heart makes him vulnerable in a lot of ways – whether he’d ever actually admit that or not. Whatever the deal was with his dad, sure AJ was hurt, but behind all of that he was hurting pretty bad, too.
The sound of the bathroom door opening startled me a little. I turned to see AJ walking toward me, jeans hanging low on his waist with the band of his boxers showing just above them, hair still wet from the shower. Sure enough, he was smiling at me as if nothing was wrong.
I’d play along for now. “Happy birthday,” I breathed against his neck as we embraced.
“I’m betting it will be since we managed to squeeze a few more days out of this summer to spend together.”
I smiled and kissed him once on the corner of his mouth.
“Excited about today?” he asked.
There it was again – that pain on his face that was nearly impossible for me not to feel. I had to say something, offer him an easy out if he wasn’t in the mood to go anywhere. “AJ, today’s supposed to be about you, actually – not me. I’m cool with just staying in again. Seriously. And I know you don’t wanna talk about this stuff going on between you and your dad, but…..”
He pulled away enough to look into my eyes, melting my heart when he did. The downtrodden expression on his face left me longing to make it all better, but I couldn’t if I didn’t even have a clue why his mood had been so dismal lately. I suppose I’d misread his somber frame of mind leading up to our heading off to college – passed it off as nothing more than sadness brought on by the realization that we would pretty much be sleeping in different time zones for the next half a year.
“If I could, I’d tell you everything,” he said, breaking my train of thought. “There’re just some things……” during the pause AJ searched for the right way to phrase his statement. “Some things are just so messed up that they’re hard to even put into words.” The pain behind his gaze became more weighted when he finished speaking. Again, I racked my mind trying to think of something I could do to help.
“We’re going,” he asserted with another forced smile. “So, why don’t you call Angel and ask if she wants to meet us for breakfast?” He deliberately walked away from our conversation before I was able to respond, pacing toward the other side of the room as he checked his phone.
Don’t push, Sam. He’ll open up when he’s ready. To distract myself from the thoughts flying through my head, I dialed Angel and waited.
“It’s about time you decided to call me. You’ve been here for an entire day already and I’m just now hearing from you?” She answered.
“Yeah, we just decided to stay in yesterday, but you should meet us for breakfast. You busy?” I asked “Nope. Where’re you guys thinking about eating?”