“Jen.”
“Yeah, her. You didn’t even give her a chance, Sam. I know you love me, but you have to have a life outside of us. Seriously, it’ll make those months go by so much faster if you fill up your time.”
In my heart I knew that he was right, but I still didn’t like the idea of being without him. Maybe I could’ve done a better job of making friends. Deanna was of course there for me, but she’d no doubt be spending her free-time with Karl. I refused to be a third wheel.
“You’re probably right,” I admitted.
“I’m always right,” he smiled, which earned him another hit to the arm.
“So, what about you? What’re you gonna do to fill up your free-time while we’re apart?”
“I’ll just use the extra time to study.”
I looked at him curiously. “So, you want me to morph into some social butterfly while you get to be a recluse and hide out all the time? How’s that fair?” He didn’t seem to find the humor in my statement like I expected. Instead, he zoned out. “What’s the matter?” I asked.
“I just don’t want you to think I’m gonna be out screwing around or anything. I know that was a concern of yours once upon a time.”
I immediately felt guilty for ever accusing him. Granted, I could blame some of my craziness this past spring on the pregnancy, but I’d allowed myself to go off on a tangent thinking that AJ would be unfaithful while off at Westwood. I realized now that I was being stupid, but I didn’t know if I could reverse the damage that my baseless suspicions had already done to our relationship.
“If I could take all that back I would. Seriously. For what it’s worth, I do trust you. Completely trust you.” And I meant that.
He shrugged casually, giving me the impression that he’d already thought this through and was content with the decision. “It’s just not worth making you uncomfortable so that I can hang out and stuff like that. It’s not really all that important.”
He didn’t seem totally convinced of my change of heart. “I’m serious. If you want me to hang out, you’ll have to do the same. Deal?”
AJ stared at me and then finally gave in. “Deal.” I made him shake on it and everything.
He turned to rest on my arm, only inches from my face. I still hadn’t become immune to that scent of his; it brought to mind intimate encounters that I was trying so desperately to forget. It wasn’t easy. AJ still had so much power over me that if he’d said the word right then and there I wouldn’t have put up a fight, but to my surprise, he didn’t make a move at all. His eyes began to close and it wasn’t long until his breathing deepened and I watched him doze off. I didn’t mind the quiet; it wasn’t like I didn’t have enough to think about. Besides, I just wanted to be close to him anyway.
He was out for about an hour before my arm fell asleep and I had to slide it from underneath him. He turned over and continued to rest while I unpacked and checked in with my mom. She and Daddy hadn’t called when they got home the night before and I wanted to make sure that they made it safely. I quickly put my clothes away in the drawers and went into the bathroom before dialing.
“Hello?” She answered.
I made sure to speak softly so that I didn’t wake AJ. “Hey. Why didn’t I hear from you when you got in last night?” I asked, sounding like a parent myself.
“Your father wanted to, but I told him to give you some space. I figured you’d be out mingling with the other kids.”
I didn’t want to tell her that I stayed behind to talk to AJ. She would’ve probably had the same reaction he did about me not being friendly enough, so I just ignored her statement.
“Well, I just wanted to check on you guys. I’ll talk to you later.”