“I’m sorry if I upset you,” I said in a low voice so no one could hear but us.
She tried to force a smile, but the effort was in vain. Another tear slipped down her cheek. “No, no…it’s fine. You didn’t do anything. This whole topic is just kind of heavy for me.” She looked up and chuckled out of nervousness. “Leaving Charleston the way I did is my biggest regret in life, AJ.”
Those words were like a dagger in my heart. Her eyes reddened and fresh tears fell. She stared for a moment longer and then looked away shaking her head. I honestly didn’t know what to say to that.
“You have no idea what it’s like knowing that I singlehandedly picked my future apart, one thread at a time.” She shook her head again and exhaled sharply.
I’d kept my distance as long as I could, but it simply wasn’t in me to stand by while she cried. No longer fighting what I’d wanted to do since the first tear fell, I eased my hands free from my pockets and pulled Sam into my arms slowly. She took a few steps closer and then braced herself against my chest, her face fitting right into the crook of my neck like she used to do. The dam finally broke and she let her emotions and tears flow freely now that I had her. Her hands slipped around my waist, making our embrace mutual.
I wasn’t sure which one of us needed this more, me or her. I ran my hands up her back and reveled in the feel of her being so close, offset by a pang of guilt that stole something from the moment. It came rushing down on me in an instant, the reminder that she wasn’t mine, and I couldn’t be hers either. For that reason, I loosened my grip and let her go.
“I’m so sorry for breaking down like that. I feel like such an idiot,” she said, taking a step back.
My hands were in my pockets again, and when Sam started back down the sidewalk I did too.
“Don’t feel bad,” I replied.
She nodded and sniffed back the last of her tears. Neither of us spoke as we circled the block and my car came into view. The headlights flashed when I started the engine and unlocked the doors with the remote. Sam’s eyes were still full of worry and sadness when she slipped past me and climbed into her seat as I held the door. Once behind the wheel, the silence persisted all the way back to her building.
We walked to the door of her apartment and I stood there lost in thought while Sam unlocked it.
“Well…aside from my embarrassing breakdown, I had a nice time,” she said with a weak smile, red eyes and all.
“So did I.” Standing there staring down on her, I found it hard to make myself walk away although I knew I should. Yeah, it was past one in the morning, and I’d be tired as hell when my alarm went off, but…
“Goodnight,” she said softly.
We lingered there in awkward silence. Rather, I lingered there in awkward silence. Sam stared at me, thinking I had something to say.
With a sigh, I finally replied. “Goodnight.”
She smiled a little bigger this time before turning to go inside.
“Wait….” The sound of my voice came across way more desperate than I meant for it to. “Can I see you again tomorrow?”
Her cheeks turned red like they had so many other times tonight. “Sure. I don’t have any plans.”
Excitement washed over me when she accepted my invitation. I had no clue where we’d go – mostly because I decided to ask her out at the last minute – but all that mattered was that I’d get to see her again. With a smile that I couldn’t hide, I nodded and turned to walk back toward the steps. When her door closed behind me, I looked back at the empty hallway and felt like my heart was beating inside my chest for the first time in years. That excited and scared me all at the same time. It was okay to have those feelings…just…not for Sam.
Chapter Thirteen
Sam