“Oh, this is my friend AJ from school. You know, we’re doing that government project together,” I explained.
AJ stood to his feet and reached out to shake my mother’s hand, “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Kelley.”
She looked at him for another second before responding. “It’s nice to meet you too, AJ.” Her gaze was on me again as she spoke. “Well, I guess I’ll go and leave you two to talk.” She lingered momentarily, still obviously a bit confused, and then turned to leave the room.
I sighed with relief, both at the realization that I wasn’t going to get in trouble and that I was no longer a prisoner to the lies I’d hidden behind lately. AJ smiled at me and sat back down on the couch. I looked into his eyes and actually felt a brief moment of relief from my anguish, but what must he have thought of my admission earlier.
We sat there on the couch and talked about everything except for what took place that night. I was in no hurry to relive it and AJ respected that. There were obviously questions on both of our minds, but they would have to wait. Somehow, he’d helped me put the disaster that had become my love life out of my mind. We shared embarrassing moments, some of our secrets and he made me laugh more than I would’ve ever thought possible under the circumstances. As it got later, I was overwhelmed by the realization that he’d soon be leaving and I’d be left alone with my thoughts that were sure to consume me.
*****
Sunday came and I couldn’t pull myself out of bed. I kept my phone off and I lay there sulking. I didn’t want to hear anything from Leslie, who I was sure had heard some version of the story already and figured out that I’d lied to her. I knew that Antonio wouldn’t call, but I didn’t have to face that fact if there was no way for him to reach me. At about 3:15 I heard my parents come in from church. They didn’t bother waking me to get ready that morning, assuming that I’d had a traumatic night. I heard them come up the stairs and then there was a soft knock at the door.
“Come in,” I called out groggily.
The door opened and my mom walked in with a look of concern on her face as she approached my bed and sat down beside me. “I know you’re upset right now, but it’s not the end of the world, honey. It was just a fight and you and Antonio will be back to normal in no time,” she said in a low voice.
“Mom, everything is not always an easy fix. Sometimes you can mess up so bad that you have to just accept that it’s over.”
“What could you have done that would make him want to call it quits all of a sudden? You two were just hanging out and going to the movies two days ago.”
“It’s complicated and I don’t know if I’m really ready to talk about it yet.”
She leaned her head to the side and watched me toil in mental agony. “Well let’s go to dinner later, just you and me. And if you want to talk then, that’s fine. And if you don’t, that’s fine too. But I think you need to get up and out this bed. It’ll do you some good.”
I thought it over for a moment before replying, “Sure.”
“Ok, we’ll leave out around five; that should give you plenty of time to get yourself together.”
When she was gone I dragged my weary body from my bed and got showered and dressed. I went down to the living room and took a seat on the couch while I waited for her. Could I really talk to her about everything that had gone on? Would she understand? Would she think that I was a horrible person for hurting Antonio? She’d proven to be understanding in the past when I’d talked to her about my problems, but this time was different.
As my thoughts wandered, I heard her making her way down the stairs and then into the living room. “You ready?”
“Yeah.” I answered.