When I stepped out of the shower, I picked up my phone from where I’d thrown it the night before and lay across the bed in my towel. After powering it back up, I contemplated calling Antonio to apologize, but decided against it. I turned on the radio half hoping to hear a song that was so profound that it would solve my problems with one verse. No such luck. There were only a few ill-fated love songs that unfortunately applied to my exact situation. I turned over and sighed. When would this be over? Would I ever be able to come to a decision that I could live with?
Seconds later I decided to call Leslie and she answered on the first ring. “Hello?”
“Hey girl, what’s up?” I replied.
“Nothing really. What you up to?”
“Just laying here….thinking,” I said.
“You feeling alright? You’ve been a little high strung lately,“ Leslie inquired “Yeah, I’m good. I just….I don’t know.”
“What is it?”
“Have you ever just been stuck in a situation where you had to make a decision but both choices seemed like the right one? I mean, like a decision where you didn’t know if you could live with either outcome…..couldn’t deal with having one without the other?”
“Well, I think everyone’s been there at least once.” She paused for a minute and then continued. “I guess the only advice I could offer you is not to make a move until you’re absolutely sure. There’s usually a moment when you know what your choice should be. It’s clear cut…..there in front of you in black and white.”
I thought about her words for a long while before I responded. “Thanks, Les. I needed that.”
“No problem. That’s what I’m here for.” She hesitated for a second. “Does this have anything to do with you and Antonio?”
As badly as I wanted to tell her everything that was going on, I knew that it was too risky. There was the possibility that she’d say something to Terrence and then it would get back to Antonio. “No, it’s nothing like that,” I lied convincingly.
“I didn’t really think so, but I just wanted to make sure,” she replied caringly.
“You need me to come get you today?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.
“Yeah, I’ll be ready about two, so just call me before you come.”
“Alright, see you later.”
When I hung up the phone, I continued to think about what Leslie said. She made me more content to wait for that exact moment that I knew. I would try to make no snap decisions now.
2:25……I’d already called Leslie to let her know I was on my way. As I headed to the car, I remembered that I hadn’t warned AJ that Antonio would be observing us today, so I sent him a message, “FYI…Antonio’s coming 2,”but he never responded.
When I pulled into Leslie’s driveway she was again already waiting outside. She hopped in and shut the door, but it looked like there was something that she wanted to say. “What’s up?” I asked.
Leslie hesitated and then finally asked, “What happened last night? Terrence called right after you and I talked earlier and said Antonio called him yelling all loud. He barely understood what he was saying. He heard AJ’s name though.” Leslie leaned her head to the side. “And all I could think about was the question you asked. Is something going on that I don’t know about?”
I wanted to tell her just to have someone to share my miserable thoughts with, but it was out of the question. “No, Leslie. There’s nothing going on. Antonio is just overreacting. “
“All I know is that Terrence said Antonio was talking like he might do something crazy. He’d never heard him like that.”
“Well, he’ll be here today too, so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” I sighed.
Shock crossed her face. “Is that a good idea if he’s upset with AJ?”
“Believe me, if I could stop him I would. He’s trippin’ because he thinks there’s something going on between AJ and me, so he’s coming to observe,” I said in a sarcastic tone.
“Well….there isn’t…..is there?” She searched my face for some sort of answer.