Lunch seemed to drag on slowly. When the bell rang I jumped to my feet, wanting to escape the uncomfortable atmosphere surrounding me. I halted when I heard Antonio speak. “Wait up. I’m walking you to your class.” The way he said it let me know that this wasn’t just a kind gesture. Antonio was making a point; he wanted A.J to see that I was with him. There was nothing I could do and no point in responding.
When we reached the door to Ms. Jamison’s classroom, I hesitated for a moment before peering inside. A.J was already there, leaned back with his legs stretched out on either sides of his desk, and his arms folded across his chest. He was staring at the door with an intense look on his face that almost made me feel like he’d expected this. Antonio met his gaze and didn’t break it even when he spoke to me. “I’ll see you in a little while.” He stood there with his eyes still on AJ who also did not waver. Another second passed and Antonio finally turned and walked away. On the way to my seat, I breathed a sigh of relief.
Things were beginning to get out of hand very quickly. It became obvious that Antonio was suspicious of AJ’s intentions although he seemed to still be unaware of my role in the situation. I was yanked from my train of thought by AJ mumbling to himself under his breath. What he said was unclear, but his expression was angry now. Was he upset with me for putting him through this? Was he angered by Antonio’s antagonistic behavior? There were so many possibilities that I gave up. He still hadn’t looked at me since I’d taken my seat. Eventually Ms. Jamison began her lesson and it went in one ear and out the other as I played out different scenarios in my head. All of a sudden, I was aware of AJ’s eyes on me. It took a second, but then his expression softened up a bit as I met his gaze. There was just a hint of a smile on his face, but he didn’t stare long before turning his attention back to Ms. Jamison.
When class ended Leslie came over to AJ and I to inform him about Saturday. We agreed on 3:00 as a good time to meet, and then she left the room. A.J and I approached the door at the same time on our way out and he stepped aside to let me through first. As I passed, he gripped my hand for a fraction of a second, acknowledging the secret that we shared. Neither of us looked at the other as we exited and went our separate ways.
After school, Antonio was already waiting at my locker. I approached him slowly, still uneasy about the incident earlier. He was leaning against the lockers and staring off thoughtfully in the distance, so engrossed that I don’t even think he noticed me until I began to fidget with my lock.
“Hey,” I said in a low voice.
“Hey,” he replied, still staring off in the distance.
I grabbed the two books that I needed to do my homework for the weekend and then closed my locker. Antonio headed toward the door without another word and I followed behind him silently. He walked me to my car and held the door open for me. No hug…..nothing. I got in after staring at him for another second, searching for some sort of hint to tell me what he was thinking.
“Are you still coming to pick me up later?” I asked sheepishly.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” He asked with a hint of irritation in his voice.
“I don’t know, it just seems like there’s something bothering you. I thought maybe you’d changed your mind.”
“I’ll be there,” he replied flatly.
“Ok, I’ll see you later then.”
“Yep,” he stated with zero emotion. That was all Antonio said before slamming my door shut and walking away, never looking at me once. I lowered my head in shame as I thought about what I’d done. Although he didn’t know exactly what was going on, he was beginning to feel insecure and that was my fault.