There was no easy way to say it, so I made it quick…..kind of like ripping off a band-aid. “I’m not sure that I’m ready to let go of Antonio completely, but I’m sure that I’m not ready to let go of you.” I sighed, realizing how bad this sounded. “I’m asking you to give me time to figure this out…..but I can’t deal with not being with you.”
Neither of us spoke as I imagined he was trying to grasp what I was asking him to do. AJ sighed and then broke the silence. “You want to be with me, but no one else can know.” This wasn’t a question. He’d fully understood what I was asking. “Before I answer, I want you to understand something first.” I heard him take a step in my direction before gently taking both of my hands in his. “If I wasn’t absolutely sure that you’d eventually come to your senses and see that you want to be with me….only me…I would never agree to this. I don’t want you to do anything before you‘re ready. I suppose we didn’t exactly choose to hook up under the best circumstances, so I can see how this has gotten to be kind of complicated for you.” He sighed again and I held my breath while I waited for him to continue. “With that being said, I’ll do what you’re asking.” He laughed to himself. “Besides…this could be fun.”
Before I could say anything else, AJ’s lips were on mine. He lifted my hands to his shoulders and I eagerly wrapped them around his neck, breathing deeply as he pulled me closer. I didn’t stop him; it felt too right. I unclasped my hands and slid them down to the collar of his shirt, pulling him to me even more. That feeling of not being able to get close enough returned and I felt like I might try to keep him locked in that auditorium with me all day. I could feel him smiling while we still kissed.
“I think we should go before someone get’s suspicious,” AJ whispered breathlessly when he finally separated his lips from mine.
“I know,” I said in a sad tone as I tried to slow the air rushing into my lungs as I panted. The taste he left behind on my lips would have to be enough to tie me over. I licked them to savor it as I closed my eyes. It was now crystal clear just how powerful the hold he had on me was becoming. We quickly kissed again before AJ opened the auditorium door, letting the light from the hallway flood our momentary oasis. Once he was sure that we’d be able to make a clean break, he told me to run for it and he’d be a few steps behind me. On the other side of the door it was like a switch had been turned off. Neither of us looked back at the other as we went in separate directions back to our classes.
I returned to Math and explained to Mr. Kendall that I was feeling better. He didn’t question me, so I turned and went to my seat. It was hard to keep myself from smiling as I thought about my meeting with AJ, but it was useless. To keep from looking like a total idiot, I had to put my head down and I stayed like that for the remainder of the hour. When the bell rang I was reminded that I’d have to face Antonio at some point in the day and that time may be now. I walked toward the door slowly fearing that he could be waiting for me. As soon as I crossed the threshold, there he was……of course. My heart stopped beating. I’d been hoping for more time to recover after seeing AJ before having to face Antonio, but no such luck.
He didn’t hesitate to reach for me, and in an instant I was in Antonio’s arms. I had this strange fear that he would somehow be able to sense that I’d been with AJ. Did he smell his cologne on me? Were my lips still flushed red from our intense kiss earlier? When he released me from his grip I backed up a little and fidgeted while trying to inconspicuously sniff my clothing. Antonio stared at me curiously for a second before speaking. “You alright?”
“Huh…Yeah, I’m good.” I replied nervously while my eyes shifted back and forth like a criminal. “How’re you?”
“Good now that I’m with you,” he said smiling. “I checked the movie times last night and there’s one starting at 7:30 and another one at 8:15. Which one you wanna shoot for?”
I’d completely forgotten about our date tonight. “Um…7:30 is fine,” I replied.