“I’m sorry, bud.” I pick him up, hugging him tightly to my chest. “What were you saying?”
“I said,” Jacob sighs dramatically, “can we take Miss Melanie out to dinner tonight? Unca Braydon said she likes chicken wings and baseball, just like we do!” Leaning against the far wall is my brother, obviously pleased with himself for getting a four-year old to do his dirty work. “Can we go watch the game and eat chicken?”
“Let me talk to your uncle for a minute, okay?” I put Jacob on the floor and watch as he runs away. He disappears into his bedroom and I hear him happily playing with his dinosaurs. “What in the hell was that?”
Braydon shrugs unapologetically. “You need to eat, she needs to eat and you don’t cook. Figured it was a pretty safe bet that she’d be stuck cooking and I want to catch the game tonight.”
“You need to stay out of this,” I tell him. His heart might be in the right place, but we’re already in a very delicate spot, more than likely unhealthy by most standards. If Melanie feels like anyone is forcing us together, I have no doubt in my mind that she will run the other direction. “I told you last night that I’m going to talk to her, but you have to promise me you’ll butt out and not involve Jacob in your games. If Melanie and I are meant to be, it’s not going to be because you had my son help manipulate either of us.”
Braydon crosses the room so he’s standing inches away from me. I’m expecting him to get defensive or be his usual prickish self, so I’m unprepared for what comes next. His hand lands on my shoulder, holding me firmly as he stares directly into my eyes. It’s unnerving to see the determination in his gaze, but I refuse to look away.
“Look, I’m not trying to overstep, I just really think you two have something special. I know I wasn’t on board with her being back in your life, but that was before.” I try to pull away from Braydon, not caring to be reminded of how adamantly opposed he was to Melanie taking care of Alyssa. There were days I truly thought we were going to wind up in a physical altercation because, by the time Braydon saw Melanie at my house the first time, I knew how good she was for all of us. “You two aren’t the only ones Alyssa talked to before she died. She wasn’t stupid, she knew that you still loved Melanie and she wasn’t threatened by it. She wants you to be happy in life. And if that means fixing what you two managed to fuck up back then, so be it.”
After Braydon and Jacob leave, I refill my coffee mug and sit down at the dining table. I don’t dare sit on my new couch because it’s comfortable enough I know I would fall asleep. I didn’t sleep worth a damn last night after standing in the doorway watching Melanie and Jacob sleeping next to one another. All night, the images in my head flashed from my past with Melanie to Alyssa and the almost three years of our time together that she spent trying to beat cancer, to a future with Melanie and Jacob. I know I can’t lie to myself anymore and push Melanie away, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with the feeling that I’m betraying Alyssa’s memory.
Melanie doesn’t knock when she returns. She sits across the table from me, apprehensively reaching for my hands. Distance is probably a good thing right now because, if I had my way, I would pull her onto my lap and kiss her until neither of us can breathe. As we sit there in silence, I watch the steady rise and fall of her chest. The longer we stare at one another, the more her breath quickens. It’s as if we both have our hand on the doorknob and know we’re about to open a door that we’ll never be able to close. “Hey,” she finally says, her voice barely above a whisper.
Her thumbs slowly trace over the backs of my hands, soothing me. This beautiful, amazing woman is once again taking care of me, no matter what her own feelings are on what is or isn’t between us. If it wasn’t for having Jacob in my life, I would kick myself every single day for ever letting her go. “Where do we go from here, Mel?”