I look down at my shoes, unable to even force a smile.
“She’s going on a date tomorrow, you know? She’s moving on. It’s about time. It’s been a month since you two separated.”
I freeze, my eyes finding Sarah’s. I feel sick, the feelings coursing through me are ones I can’t even describe. Violent anger, intense fear… and regret. Intense fucking regret.
Sarah pats my arm. “It’s for the best,” she says. “Elena has had a tough life so far. She deserves to be loved, to be spoiled. She deserves to be swept off her feet. And you… you can’t give her what she needs, can you?”
She smiles as she walks away, and I stare after her. Elena… on a date. My mind spirals out of control, showing me images of her with someone that isn’t me. If she goes on that date, will she kiss him the way she kissed me? Will she smile at him? Will she ask him about three good things that might have happened to him that day? All those things that she used to reserve for me, will she give it all to someone else?
Chapter 62
E lena
I wake up to the sound of my window rattling and sit up in alarm, fear gripping me. I glance at the window and freeze, my eyes widening in shock when I realize it’s being pushed open by someone. I rise to my feet, ready to scream for help, when I recognize him. I’d recognize him anywhere.
“Alexander?”
He closes the window behind him, his movements uncertain as he walks up to me, and I meet him halfway.
“What are you doing here?”
He cups my cheek, tenderly, and I place my own hand over his, concerned.
“Alec, your hand is freezing. What’s going on?”
He shakes his head and wraps me into his embrace, holding me tightly. “Elena,” he whispers, my name a plea on his lips.
I pull away from him, worried. I’ve never seen him look so vulnerable before, so hurt.
“Alec, why are you here? Did you… did you seriously just climb through my window?”
I haven’t seen him since that time in his bedroom. I’d just about given up hope. I was certain that walking away was the right choice, yet here he is, standing in front of me in the middle of the night.
“I-yes. I did. You have so much security, this was the easiest way to get to you.”
I stare at him in disbelief as he grabs a strand of my hair and pushes it behind my ear. “I promised myself I wouldn’t approach you. I was going to let you go, Elena. I wanted you to have everything I knew I could never give you.”
He drops to his knees, trembling. Alec wraps his arms around me, his head pressed against my hip.
“Alec, you’re worrying me.”
I sink down to my knees the way he has, and he grabs my shoulders.
“Elena,” he says. “I can’t do it. I know you deserve better, but I can’t stay away. I can’t.”
My heart starts to race as I look into his eyes. Alec wraps his hand around the back of my neck the way he likes doing, his thumb resting against my throat.
“I know it’s fucking selfish. I fucking know. But fuck. I can’t live without you. I can’t let you walk into someone else’s arms.” He drops his forehead to mine and inhales shakily. “You always ask me about three good things that happened during my day, but baby, everything good in my life is you. The three best things to have happened in my entire life were meeting you, marrying you… and falling in love with you.”
My heart skips a beat, and I look at him with wide eyes.
Alec looks anguished, desperate. He raises his hand to my face and gently strokes my cheek with the back of his hand. “When I met you, I thought love was a fucking sham. I wanted no part of it. I didn’t think love could last.”
He threads his fingers through my hair, his hand trembling. “Elena, I don’t know if I’m ever going to be good enough for you. I don’t know if I’ll ever be what you need. All I know is that I love you. I would rather spend a year with you than a lifetime without you. I’m willing to give you everything, Elena. I’m willing to give you my heart, and trust that you won’t break it. But even if you do, baby, even if you tear my heart apart, you’re worth it. You’re worth everything.”
Alec tightens his grip on me, his eyes filled with desperation. “Give me a chance to show you I can be what you need. Let me show you I can be a real husband. Give me just one single chance. Just one, Elena.”
He pulls away to look at me, his gaze searching. I’ve never once seen him look so vulnerable, so disarmed. I stare at him, part of me certain this must all be a dream, yet it isn’t.
“Alec, I don’t want to play games. This is the rest of our lives that we’re talking about. I need you to be sure. I need you to promise me forever. I need you to tell me you’ll be mine, heart and soul, that you’ll love me until we’re gray and old. If you can’t do that, then please, just walk away. Walk away before you shatter what remains of my heart.”
He cups my cheeks, his eyes on mine. “I swear to you, Elena. I’ll love you till the day I die, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you. I promise you all of me, forever.”
I lean in, and Alec freezes, his body tense. My lips brush against his, and he groans. He pulls me closer, his lips crashing against mine hungrily. Alec kisses me with blatant desperation, and I tremble against him. When he pulls away, I’m panting, eager for more. The way he looks at me… it’s like I’m all he can see.
“I’ve missed you, Alec.”
He rises to his feet and lifts me into his arms, placing me down on my bed. “I’ve missed you too, baby. So fucking much. I can’t even sleep without you. Everywhere I go, I’m reminded of you.” Alec joins me in bed, his body hovering over mine. “I can’t eat without missing the food you make me, I can’t walk into my office building without thinking of the way you walked away. You’re everywhere.”
He lowers his body on top of mine, and I bury my hands in his hair. He looks heartbroken, regretful.
“Elena, tell me you’ll give me another chance.”
I nod, and the relief in Alec’s eyes is palpable. He smiles at me, his anguish making way for happiness.
“I want to hear you say it. Tell me you’ll be mine.”
I smile at him. “Alec, I’ve always been yours. I always will be.”
He leans in and kisses me, slow and deep. I lose myself in him, my hands roaming over his body. His touch is as frantic as mine, both of us tugging at each other’s clothes. Before long, I’m lying underneath him, my bare skin against his.
“I want you, Elena. I want you for the rest of my life.”
His hand trails over my body, and I gasp when his fingers find their way between my legs. “I fucking knew you’d be wet for me, baby. Tell me, have you missed me? Have you fantasized about me?”
“Yes,” I admit. “Yes, to all of it.”
He chuckles, the sound low and sexy. “I dream of you, Elena. I dream of the way you moan my name, the way you look at me when you come for me. I’m tired of living off the memory of you. So show me,” he says, his thumb stroking over my clit. “Come for me.”
He looks into my eyes as he pushes me closer and closer until I can’t take it anymore. “Alec,” I moan, my muscles tightening around his fingers.
He smiles in satisfaction. “Good girl,” he says, leaning in for a kiss.
I kiss him the way I know drives him insane until I’ve got him panting, desperate for me. “Elena,” he says, his tone pleading. “I need you.”
I nod, and he pushes into me slightly, taking his time.
“You want this cock, baby? Tell me you’re mine.”
I whimper, and he grins.
“I’m yours, Alexander Kennedy. All yours. All of me.”
Alec slams into me the way he knows I like, his forehead dropping to mine. “Fuck,” he says. “I can barely take it. Your pussy is so fucking good.”
I wrap my arms around him, my lips finding his. Alec fucks me slowly, his strokes deep, driving me insane. I can already feel the pressure building inside me, all over again.
“You want to come for me again, don’t you?” he asks, his voice husky.
I nod at him, my nails scraping over his scalp.
“Tell me you’ll marry me. I want it all. The whole wedding ceremony, everything. I don’t care how long you make me wait, so long as I get to see you walking down the aisle toward me.”
My heart warms, and I nod. “I’ll marry you, Alec, for the whole world to see.”
Alec gives me what I want, and I come again, but this time I take him right over the edge with me. He groans and drops his forehead to mine, both of us trying to catch our breath.
He turns us over and holds me in his arms, my head on his chest. His hands caress every part of my body, as though he thinks I might disappear if he lets go of me.
“You won’t go on that date, will you?”