I blink in surprise, and she smiles.
“Honey, the issue both Sofia and I had was that we loved with all our hearts and never received that same love back. Living like that, loving like that, it’s not sustainable.”
The absence of love… I never thought of it that way. “Wouldn’t it be so much easier not to love at all?”
Mom bursts out laughing and squeezes my hand. “Honey, a life without love isn’t a life worth living. Besides, you don’t get to choose whether or not you love someone. If only. How much easier would life be if we could just make that choice? Love… it doesn’t listen to reason.”
I think over her words. I’ve been trying to fight my feelings, but I ended up falling for Alec against my wishes. I want to be the person he’s asking me to be—a convenient wife, a partner that minds their own business. But I can’t. I can’t not love him.
The way he takes care of me, the way he defends Luce, and the way he’s always protected his mother... He makes it so easy to love him. I never stood a chance.
There isn’t much he asked of me in return for everything he’s given me. Just three things: to be a good daughter-in-law and his trophy wife in public, and to never expect love. He’s given me everything. Without him, my mother might not be lying beside me right now. Yet I can’t help but selfishly want more. I can’t help but dare hope for more.
I’m still thinking about my mother’s words hours later. I glance at the clock as I cook dinner, unsure whether Alec will even join me tonight. Lately he’s been working late in his office, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because he’s avoiding me.
I look up when I hear one of the doors slam and follow the sound to find Alec walking straight into his home office. He used to at least greet me and ask about my day, even on days that he was incredibly busy. I pause in front of his closed office door and hesitate before pushing it open.
“Alec?”
He looks up in surprise, his expression guarded. “Elena. What are you doing here?”
I blink, unsure how to even reply to that. “I heard you walk in.”
He nods and tugs on his tie. I walk up to him and place my hand over his, helping him loosen his tie. He freezes as though my touch makes him uncomfortable, and I can’t help but frown.
“Alec, what’s going on? You and I have barely spoken. You’re avoiding me.”
He looks at me with raised brows and takes a step away. “I’m not avoiding you, Elena. I’m just busy. Didn’t we agree that you’d stay out of my way? It seems like you’ve gotten too comfortable in this marriage. You and I had an agreement, remember? You’re not to bother me unnecessarily. Looks like the sex has made you think you can overstep the boundaries you agreed to.”
I wrap my arms around myself, trying my hardest to mask how much his words pain me. “You’re pushing me away. Why?”
Alec ignores me and sits down behind his desk. He turns his computer on, silently dismissing me.
“Tell me, Alexander. Why are you behaving like this? Is this because of everything that happened with your mother? Is that why you’re distancing yourself from me?”
He sighs and leans back in his seat, looking up at me, an irritated expression on his face. “Fucking hell, Elena. There’s no reason. What is it you want? Why are you being so fucking needy?”
I stare at him in disbelief and move my hands behind my back in an effort to hide how badly I’m trembling, how badly he’s hurting me.
“Needy? Are you kidding me right now? You’re the one that told me to talk to you when you hurt me. You’re hurting me right now, Alec.”
He rises from his seat, his palms flat on his desk. “What do you want? Every single thing you’ve ever asked for, I’ve given you. I helped you with your mother’s care, I helped you take down your father, I helped you regain everything you’ve lost, and I’m still housing your mother and providing her with round-the-clock care. What more do you want, Elena?” he asks, sounding defeated, frustrated.
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
“I’ve given you everything , Elena, and I didn’t ask you for much in return. All I wanted was a wife that would let me live my own life, Elena. It’s all I asked for.”
I swallow hard and nod even as my heart shatters. I take a step back and inhale shakily, pasting a smile on my face.
“Understood,” I tell him.
Alec hesitates, and for a second, I hope he’ll take back his words, but then he sits back down, his eyes on his computer.
I blink back the tears that have gathered in my eyes and paste a bright smile onto my face.
“There’s dinner for you in the kitchen, should you want it. I’ll stay out of your way.”
I turn and walk away, every fiber of my being longing for him to stop me.
He doesn’t.
Chapter 57
A lexander
I glance around my new office, feeling oddly uneasy. This office is all I’ve ever wanted, so why does attaining it feel so bleak?
I sit up in surprise when my office door opens. No one but my grandfather ever walks in without me being notified first.
My grandfather… and Elena , it seems.
My eyes roam over her body, my heart stirring involuntarily. She looks beautiful—she always does. It feels like I haven’t seen her in weeks, and I guess I haven’t, not really. We barely speak. I asked her for space and she’s giving it to me, whether I like it or not.
Just a few months ago, I’d have gotten up to kiss her. She’d have smiled at me as she walked over to me, sitting down in my lap. Now she looks at me expressionlessly.
“I wasn’t expecting you. What are you doing here?” I glance at my watch and frown. “I have a meeting in ten minutes.”
She nods and sits down in front of me. “I apologize for intruding,” she says, placing her bag in her lap. She glances around, a small smile on her face. “Nice office.”
I smile and look around the way she just did. Sometimes I can barely believe I made it either. “Thank you. I’ve waited years for this. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
She leans back in her seat, a bittersweet smile on her face. “I’m happy for you,” she says, her tone sincere. “I’m happy you’ve achieved everything you wanted.”
She looks down, hesitating, before reaching into her purse. When she looks back at me, her eyes are filled with resignation. Elena hands me a piece of paper and I glance at it in surprise.
“A blank cheque?”
She stares at it and then lets her eyes fall closed for a couple of seconds, almost like she’s bracing herself. “You got everything you wanted and you never needed my help at all. I, on the other hand, relied on you heavily.” She points at the cheque and smiles. “Now that I’ve regained my assets, I’d like to pay you back—for everything. My mother’s medical bills, the shares you purchased for me, everything.”
My heart starts to race, dread filling me, and I grit my teeth. “Why?”
“Our agreement was supposed to be mutually beneficial, but it wasn’t. I’d like to remedy that. Besides, since you have no further need for me, we might as well dissolve our arrangement.”
I look at her with raised brows as she takes a stack of papers out of her bag. She stares at them before placing them on my desk. My stomach twists violently when she slides them my way.
I smile humorlessly as I pick up the divorce papers. “You want to divorce me?”
She nods, and I start laughing, the sound chilling even to my own ears. Elena’s calm expression infuriates me even further, and when she takes off her engagement ring and places it on my desk, I lose it.
I rise from my seat, rage unlike anything I’ve ever felt before coursing through my body. I walk around my desk and pull her out of her chair. Elena crashes into me, her eyes wide. My hands thread through her hair and I tip her head back, making her face me. I pull her body flush against mine and stare her down.
“There isn’t a single thing I’m not giving you. There isn’t anything I’ve ever denied you. I’ve even given you everything you didn’t dare ask for. Anything you wanted, Elena, I’ve given you. There’s nothing you’re missing. If you’re leaving me, it can only be for one reason. Who is it?”
She blinks, trying her best to portray innocence, the same way Jennifer did every single time I had doubts about Matthew and her.
“Alec, there’s no one else.”
I lift her onto my desk and push her legs apart, holding her the same way I held her at Vaughn’s.
I grab her chin and look into her eyes. Her gaze is unwavering, but I’ll break her silence. “Remember, Elena. You signed your life away to me.”
Her arms wrap around my neck, not a hint of fear in her eyes. “I did,” she says. “And now I’m buying it back.”