I pause in surprise when I find my grandfather standing by the entrance, keys in his hand. My mother and Lucian are both grinning excitedly as they put their coats on.
Their smiles melt off their faces as they see me approach, and I frown. “Where are the three of you going?”
Mom tenses, and Lucian looks away. Only my grandfather smiles leisurely. “Oh, nowhere,” he says. “We’re just going out for dinner. I’m retired now, after all. Plenty of time to kill.”
I frown at him. “Is there a specific reason you guys are going on a family outing without inviting me?”
The guilt on Lucian’s face tells me everything I need to know. They’re meeting Elena. I laugh mockingly. “She leaves me and takes my family with her. Fucking ridiculous.”
I walk past them, my shoulder slamming into Lucian’s angrily.
“Alexander,” my grandfather says.
I pause and turn to look at him.
“I told you, didn’t I? You let her go, you’ll regret it.”
Lucian nods. He hasn’t spoken a word to me since Elena left, and even my mother seems to be disappointed in me. I don’t know why the fuck they blame me when it’s Elena that walked out on me. On us .
I shake my head and walk out. I’m still seething by the time I pull up at Inferno. Another fucking place that’s tainted with the memory of her. My mood just sinks further as I walk up to the rooftop. My favorite spot is hers too.
I sigh as I sit back in the same spot I was in when Elena walked back into my life. I stare at the sky, remembering the way she looked at the stars, a smile on her face.
“Alexander.”
I look up in surprise, tensing.
“Jennifer.”
She smiles and sits down next to me, looking just as miserable as I probably do. I haven’t even thought of her in months. I haven’t wondered what losing Matthew would be like for her, how she’s been affected by everything Elena did. When did I stop caring about her? When did I start to put Elena’s needs before hers?
“Rumor has it that Elena left you.”
I frown. It’s only been a week. Has she been telling people? Is she going around telling people she’s single again?
I grit my teeth and Jennifer smiles. “You never used to get that upset about me, you know?” She shakes her head, her eyes on the skyline. “I’d spend hours with Matthew and all you ever did was ask me if something was going on. But Elena? I saw you two on the day you proposed to her. She was talking to some guy and even though it was clear that she wasn’t remotely interested in him, you lost it. You lost your composure.”
I look at her and smile mirthlessly. “I don’t like sharing my possessions. That’s all it was.”
“You’re in love with her,” she says, her smile bittersweet. “I always knew that what we had wasn’t real love, you know? I always knew you didn’t truly love me—you just convinced yourself that you did.”
She leans back in her seat, a sad smile on her face. “There’s no excuse for the way I cheated on you, Alexander. But knowing that you didn’t love me made it easier. It made it easier to give Matthew a chance.”
“What are you talking about? Of course, I loved you. Fuck, Jen. I gave you my heart on a silver platter and you fucking trampled on it.”
She shakes her head. “Alec, you loved the idea of me. You loved the idea of a woman that didn’t know who you were, that wasn’t familiar with your world. You enjoyed seeing the world through my eyes. It was new to you, and you thrived on it. But you never loved me .”
I laugh despite the anger I feel. “That’s bullshit.”
Jennifer smiles. “Is it? What’s Elena’s favorite color?”
“It’s red.”
“Favorite food?”
“Chocolate chip cookies.”
She smiles, her expression sad. “What about mine?”
I blink, drawing a blank.
She shakes her head. “You loved the idea of me, but you never even truly knew me. Nor did Matthew, for that matter—maybe that’ll make you feel a little better. He was just using me as a pawn against you. He was playing some sort of fucked up game that you aren’t even aware of.”
I frown, and she looks away.
“From what I gathered, he’s held a grudge against you for years. Ever since his first girlfriend left him for you. Ever since then he’s been fixated on taking away everything you have—business deals, your girlfriends, assets. If you set your eyes on it, he wanted it. I didn’t realize that until it was too late. I was just another conquest, another victory in the silent war he waged against you.”
“What the fuck?”
Jennifer laughs, her face tipped up at the sky. “What the fuck , indeed. What Elena did to him… it was a blessing in disguise. He was unhinged, and had she not done what she did, I’d have become that madman’s wife.”
Jennifer rises from her seat and smiles at me. “I know you have your reasons to stay away from love. I know what your family has been through—what your mother has been through. I know I played a role in making your trust issues worse yet. I know how hard it is for you to love. I know, Alexander, because throughout our entire relationship I did all I could to pierce the armor that surrounds your heart, and I failed. But Elena? She did it without even trying.”
She cups my cheek, her smile bittersweet. “I came here because one of my friends told me you were here. I want you back, Alexander. I realize how badly I fucked up, how well you treated me. I know what I lost.”
She leans into me, and I look into her eyes. She looks fragile, insecure. “I love you, Alexander. Despite everything I’ve done, everything I’ve put you through, I do truly love you,” she says, letting her hand drop to the side, tears gathering in her eyes. “So, I’ll do the right thing, despite what my heart desires. I want you to be happy, Alexander. Truly happy. The way you smiled when you were with Elena? I want that for you, and I know I can never give you that.”
She takes a step away from me, a single tear dropping down her cheek. “I haven’t been the best version of myself, Alec. This world… the world you operate in? It’s not for girls like me. I hate who I’ve become. I hate how Matthew changed me. But Elena? Elena belongs with you. She’s your equal in every way that matters, in every way that I couldn’t be. Alexander, you deserve to be happy, more so than anyone else I know. So please, go after that happiness before it’s too late. I lost my chance. Don’t lose yours.”
She smiles at me and walks away, her words reverberating in my mind long after she’s gone.
Chapter 60
A lexander
I’m certain I’m fucking hallucinating when I hear Elena’s laughter as I walk into the house. I stop in my tracks, my eyes closing as my stomach drops. My heart clenches painfully and I take a steadying breath.
I’m almost at the stairs when I hear it again. Laughter. But this time, it’s my mother’s. I tense and turn to follow the sound toward the kitchen. My heart races with every step I take. She can’t be here. She left.
My entire body is rigid as I lean against the kitchen doorway, my eyes finding her instantly. Fucking beautiful.
She’s got flour in her hair and a smear of chocolate on her cheek, but she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Her smile drops when she notices me, and she looks startled, her cheeks turning rosy. The room falls silent, and it isn’t until then that I realize my entire family is here.
Lucian and my mother are standing opposite Elena, while my grandfather is standing next to her. They look guilty when they see me standing here, and my mother and brother both look away, not bothering to hide their dismay.
“What a warm welcome,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
Grandpa clears his throat and glances at his watch, before smiling at me stiffly. “Alec, my boy. What are you doing here? Slacking already?”
Elena wraps her arms around herself, smearing even more chocolate on herself. She looks away, but I want her eyes on mine.
I drag my gaze away from her and shake my head. “Just needed a sick day, that’s all. Not feeling great.”
Elena’s eyes shoot up to mine, concern reflected in them. She scans my body, a frown marring her beautiful face. She looks fucking stunning. Looks like she isn’t struggling to sleep, like I am. I bet she isn’t spending every waking hour thinking of me, memories replaying in her mind.
I glance around the room and shake my head as I walk away, leaving my heart behind. She’s got my family spellbound. She left, but it looks like she only left me —not my family. I can’t believe they’re inviting her over behind my fucking back. Even my damn grandfather is in on this shit.
I walk into my bedroom and lean my forearm against the wall, my eyes falling closed. Just seeing her wrecks me, but she looked perfectly unaffected. Uncomfortable at most.
I take a steadying breath, willing my body to listen to me even as every fiber of my being demands that I go to her. I’ve only just about got my raging heart under control when my bedroom door opens.