“Right. So… explain. Lay it all out there for me.”
“Okay. It’s like…” I sat back again, with a heavy sigh. “You know I’m one of those sappy people who loves love. So it was natural for me to help people find it, but at the same time… man, I wanted it for myself so bad, and it wasn’t happening. For years, you know? There I was, Tori Kennedy, matchmaker who couldn’t find a man. So I said okay, forget this, I’m going to stop looking. Then one of my clients became a widow, and talking to her about the love she had for him made me feel like I was missing out. Then… along came Rafael, and I said okay, let’s give it one more try. Ren, I gave Rafael everything I had, tried to be the perfect — secret— wife of a celebrity, and you see how that shit went. So it was back to the decision to just be single.”
Renee nodded, then gave me a smile. “So you went to the Maldives with the intention of having yourself a little island fling, then going back to Dallas to work yourself to death while you pretended to be happy being single?”
“Well, I didn’t intend to have a fling… me and Avery just kinda happened. But the rest is pretty accurate.”
“Dummy. Did you think that was going to work? You were gonna ignore your pain away?”
“Well, once I met Avery and that body… the plan became to sex the pain away,” I laughed. “But I realize now, that was another mistake. It’s the same thing I tried to do with Rafael, and I ended up marrying… and divorcing him.”
“And Avery?”
I groaned, closing my eyes. “Avery… threw me off course.”
“Dick got your mind gone, huh?”
I laughed, playfully slapping her on the knee. “No. I mean… don’t get me wrong, it was amazing, but the connection that I felt to him had nothing to do with that. It was like I felt compelled to be close to him, and I thought I could use it to my advantage, have my little one-night-stand, and move on. But the next morning… I didn’t want to leave.”
“But then he acted a damn fool.”
“Right. Then, he acted a damn fool and I couldn’t get away fast enough. So I went back to my plan. I was working, and I was busy, and I was… numb.” I stopped to brush a handful of hair away from my face. “Then along came Des, asking me to work with him, to find him a woman.”
Renee jerked her head back, lifting an eyebrow at me. “So… Des doesn’t know?”
“Des does not know,” I confirmed. “She never would have asked me to work with him if she did. But, I decided to do her that favor, and Avery and I hashed out our little differences so we could work together. But, I didn’t know the connection we’d had in the Maldives was going to pick right back up, and man… every minute of time I spent with him made it more intense.”
“I told you it was a bad idea, Tee. I could tell there was more to you and him than you were letting on.”
I shrugged, tracing the tribal pattern of my dress with my fingers. “There was more to it than I knew. It started becoming somewhat hard for me to send him out on those dates, when he was making it clear he wanted to spend time with me. I knew I should keep my distance, but again… it was as if I had to be around him. And then after Chicago, I realized—”
“That you were falling in love with him.”