“You tryna make me blush?”
“No,” I giggled. “I’m serious. I’m also seriously scared, if that helps keeps you from blushing.”
“Okay, so talk to me about it. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know… I guess I’m wondering where we go from here. I mean, I’m willing to give it a chance, but still. I’m… afraid.”
“That’s why you didn’t tell me we were a match? Cause you were scared?”
I looked up at him as I nodded. “I told you about the last time I matched myself with a client. That was awful, and I was scared it would happen again. Especially when I felt so strongly about you. I didn’t want to take a risk of trying it again, only to have it still not work. Hell, I’ve got that same fear now.”
“Tori, slow down,” Avery said, placing a kiss against my temple. “It’s ok to focus on the moment, at least for now.” He flipped us over, so that he was on his back with me straddling his lap. “Tori, I’m crazy about you. It’s okay to be scared, you think I’m not? But what I’m not gonna do is let it paralyze me, and you shouldn’t either.”
I closed my eyes as I lowered my mouth to kiss him. “So what do you think we should do? What are we doing?”
“We don’t have to make any big declarations about anything right now. I’m not trying to force you to be ready for something that you’re not, so let’s just … take it slow. What I can do is you give you my best, one day at a time. It’s probably not gonna always be perfect, but if we can turn a day at a time into a week at a time, then two weeks, then a month, then six, then a year… who knows what could happen?”
“Where the hell did you come from? Why are you so perfect?” I asked, cupping his face in my hands.
“I’m not,” he laughed. “Far from it. But you, on the other hand…”
I grinned, shaking my head. “Oh please. I’m way too irrational to be perfect. Chasing you outside half naked in the rain, remember?”
“Don’t remind me. You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were really hurt.”
“I was.”
Avery stared at me for a moment, then extended his arms, gesturing toward me. “Come here.” I lowered myself into his arms, snuggling against his chest. “I still can’t say it?” I felt the laughter building in his chest as I shook my head. “But you know it, right?”
I lifted my head to smile at him. “I do. And like I said, me too… I just think we should give it a little time first before we say it. No pressure, okay? Let’s just be Avery and Tori.”
Neither of us had the answers, not really, but I couldn’t choose a better companion for the journey of finding forever. We could figure out the rest along the way.
— the end —