Finding Forever

It was an odd time of day for Coral, so the front of the house was empty as the workers prepared for the next wave of customers. As always, I headed straight for the back to find Maya, and the thought popped in my head that maybe it wasn’t a good idea for us to have that conversation while she was at work. My head would probably be messed up for the rest of that day afterwards, and I was sure her experience would be similar. I had decided I could still treat her to lunch when I turned the corner and saw her leaning against the cold steel table of the wine room, giggling pretty damn hard at something the wine steward — Scott — was saying into her ear. They were looking very familiar with each other, and she seemed comfortable with the hand he had firmly planted on her ass as they continued their flirtation.

I… didn’t give a shit. Not that much. The indifference is what sealed the deal for me. The strongest feeling I could pull up was gratitude that I’d felt too guilty to sleep with her after kissing Tori, so at the very least, I hadn’t recently shared with this guy, and that I’d had enough presence of mind to always use protection with her, even when she insisted it wasn’t necessary. That apathy let me know whatever existed between Maya and I had been kept long past its expiration date, and leaving aside what may or may not happen with Tori, I was walking out of this restaurant a single man.

I cleared my throat, and tried not to laugh as Maya and Scott sprang apart. It was comical to see them standing there, trying to look like they weren’t caught in the middle of something inappropriate.

“Avery… you’re back a day early.” Maya smoothed a hand over the front of her dress, keeping her eyes trained on me to avoid looking at Scott.

I nodded, still keeping a slight frown on my face. “I am. Scott, my man, why don’t you give me a moment alone with Maya?”

He glanced first at Maya for instruction.

“Scott.” His eyes went wider. “I said give me a minute with Maya.” There wasn’t any hesitation the second time. As I stepped out of the way to allow him through, I caught a whiff of a familiar scent. My jaw tightened, and anger pricked my skin as I remembered where I’d smelled it before.

“That night I showed up at your house… I asked if you were using new perfume. I guess I don’t have to ask the name of it now.”

Maya held up her hands. “Avery, hold on a second, its no—”

“Maya… don’t. Just don’t. When I got to your house, your ‘mom’ had just left, you didn’t have on any clothes, and your ‘moms’’ scent was all over you. I’m not stupid, Maya. Are you going to try to tell me there was a legitimate reason for you to be naked and smelling like that motherfucker at your house? No wonder you picked a fight, and were in such a hurry to get in the shower. Why didn’t you break up with me if it’s like that?”

So much for indifference.

“It wasn’t like that, Avery,” she huffed. “I went to him for comfort, because you were never around, and I knew it was because you were screwing around. Don’t try to act as if you’re all innocent, I know what the flowers, gifts, and all of that shit was about. You were trying to alleviate your guilt, and keep me under your little spell, but guess what? I’m not stupid either.”

My face twisted into a scowl. “What the hell are you talking about? Guilt? I hadn’t done shit to feel guilty about! I was buying you nice things because I liked you, sending you flowers so you would know I was thinking about you, and because I felt bad for being so busy! So you know what, yeah, maybe it was guilt, but it didn’t have shit to do with me messing around.”

“Yeah. Sure, Avery,” she said, rolling her eyes. “From day one, you were never giving it your all. Yeah, sure, you spent money on me, and threw me a little bit of your time, but I could tell you were holding back, so I held back too, thinking maybe we needed to give it a little longer. But here we are in month four, and do you even feel any more strongly about me than you did in month two?”

She stopped, waiting for me to answer, but… I couldn’t. Had we arrived at a plateau at some point without me realizing it?

“Yeah, exactly,” Maya said, crossing her arms as she continued. “Emotionally, you were giving me whatever is left over from whoever the hell it is you really want to be with.”

“I was not cheating on you!”

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