Looking in the mirror again, I met Mel’s eyes with my own. “I’m gonna need longer than thirty minutes.”
I put her in charge of finding something for me to wear, and got to work. I conditioned and detangled my hair, exfoliated and moisturized my face, and took the longest, hottest shower of my life before pampering my skin with body butter, and pulling on the clothes Mel had left. After a bit of makeup to help the dark circles under my eyes, I thought I looked good, and in turn, I felt good.
I opened the door to find Mel sitting on the edge of my bed, occupied with her smartphone. She gave me a sideways glance, looked back at her screen, then furrowed her brow as she turned to me again. Mel’s eyes widened as she stood up, and as she approached me, her eyes were welling with tears.
“Tee…,” she sniffled as she pulled me into a tight hug, nearly causing both of us to topple over on our heels. “Welcome back, sis.”
“What are you talking about, Mel?”
She let me go, and sat down again on the edge of the bed. “I was starting to worry about you, Tori. I know sometimes you have your little pity party spells, but this time was almost a month. You sold your business, you only talk to your friends enough to keep them from worrying, and you were getting fat—”
“I was not getting fat.”
Mel lifted an eyebrow. “Girl, you’re wearing your ‘fat’ jeans right now, don’t front. I didn’t want to get you upset about not fitting in your other ones, so I gave you those. But back to my point, you were in bad shape, and I was fully prepared to literally drag you out of this house. I’m glad to see I don’t have to do that,” she said, smiling at me as I sat down on the bed beside her. She fluffed my hair, then adjusted the collar of my shirt. “This is the Tori I like to see. Do you know I much I looked up to you, growing up? How much I still do? You know me, I wear my emotions like a hot pink fur, everybody is going to see that shit. But you.. You’re usually so peaceful, and put together that seeing you when you’re not… it’s kinda scary, Tee.”
“I’m sorry I scared you, sis. But, you’ve gotta know that a lot — hell, most— of the time, when you see me outwardly calm, while everything is going to shit… that’s a front. I’m just good at it… usually,” I added with a smile. “But I don’t recommend that. I mean, look at me. I spend all of my time managing relationships for other people. I get invested as if I’m in the relationship too, so much I end up with sensory overload. I don’t know why I couldn’t see it before, but it’s like having a constant flood of emotions — and I don’t mean yours alone, but sometimes six, eight, ten other people— poured through a sieve. Filling you up, but draining you at the same time and it’s freaking exhausting. But I bore it with a smile, because I didn’t need anybody fussing over me, and I loved it… or, I thought I did.” I shrugged. “I think with the experiences I’ve had, it’s not healthy for me anymore.”
Mel tilted her head to the side, resting her chin against the back of her hand. “Are you saying you don’t think matchmaking is healthy for you, or… you don’t think love is healthy for you anymore?
I sighed as I bit the inside of my bottom lip. “I don’t know… maybe both. And I don’t want to hear a lecture of any type about ‘not giving up on love’, or anything like that, okay?”