I stood then, hurrying toward the door. “I see. Well, I guess I’m gonna go out to the wai—”
“We got the flowers.”
I froze, with my hand on the doorknob. “Good. I’m glad you liked them.”
“I didn’t say that.”
Turning my head a little, I chanced a glance through the corner of my eye. Still not smiling. He was serious. “Oh.”
“That’s all you have to say? Oh?” He approached me, slowly, with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans.
“What else do you want me to say?”
“I want you to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me.”
I shrugged, still facing the door. “You know why, Avery. It makes it easier.”
“Makes what easier? And for who?”
He grabbed my wrist, pulling my hand away from the handle as he turned me around, but I kept my eyes averted away. “For both of us, to get past whatever was brewing between us. And for you to explore what you have with Maya.”
“I would drop Maya in a heartbeat to explore what I could have with you.” My breath caught in my throat. Those words cultivated my withered little heart, but at the same time, they cut like a razor, because I knew… it would never happen. We could plant that seed, and it would probably grow, but it would never get past the budding stage before it wilted and shriveled away.
I took a deep breath, and looked up, allowing my eyes to meet his as I brought my hand up to his face. “Avery… I need you to know I’m not rejecting you. It has nothing to with you. This is about me. What you want and need, and what I have the ability to give are two completely different things.”
“Care to explain?”
Hell no.
But how could I live with myself if I didn’t give him any closure?
With a heavy sigh, I leaned against the door as I began to speak. “You remember that night in Chicago, when Des said I “gave my best to the worst, and worst to the best”? I got mad at her for saying it… but it’s completely true. I’m only 30, but I’ve been dating for fourteen years, and my God, the number of terrible relationships I’ve had in that short time has to be record-breaking. I’ve been lied to, lied on, hit, cheated on, stalked, verbally abused, emotionally abused… you name it. And truthfully, I’ve done some of those things to other people too. I have a nightmare dating story for every category you could think of, and I’m tired, Avery. I can’t do the broken-hearted thing anymore.”
“So do something else!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air.
I shook my head, blinking back tears. “You think I haven’t tried? That’s how I ended up married to a man that was never faithful to me. I was taking my last chance, and I was all in with him. I gave him all of me, and he made a fool of me. You want the unjaded, happy, free Tori and unfortunately, she’s unavailable. She’ll never be available like that again, not for love… Not even for you, Avery, and I’m sorry.”
He was silent for a moment, processing my words before he let out a low whistle, and then said, “Wow.”
“Yeah. I know.” I gave a dry, humorless laugh before I started to turn back to the door. “I’m gonna go wait on my car.”
“Your car is ready.” He held up my keys, but kept them out of my reach, using his free hand to grab mine. “I wish I could have been your last chance.” He turned my hand over, placing my keys inside before he let me go.
I smiled through my tears as my fingers closed over the jumble of metal. “So do I.”
— 9—
— Tori —
“Ouch! What the— Mel, could you stop!”
The first thing I felt when I woke up was the solid whack of a pillow against my head. I sprung up, ready to attack until I saw Mel standing over me, and before I could respond, she hit me again.