“Christ. Where’s our goddamn backup?” Kyle screamed, his voice cutting through Ryan’s wild daze.
“Air support two minutes,” Monty yelled back as he stood, raising his rifle. Ryan’s eyes fell on the blood coating Monty’s fingers and his stomach lurched. “Start a retreat.”
Kyle jerked as a bullet caught him in his hip and he fell to his knees. “Fuck,” he growled.
Galloway rushed over, helping Kyle to his feet, and Ryan turned back to Jake. Hardening his heart, he took a deep breath and hefted Jake’s body up and onto his shoulder. Steadying himself, he started behind Monty through heavy cover fire as they headed for a safe pick up zone.
“Sonofabitch,” Ryan rasped when relief came moments later in the form of two FA18 jet fighters screaming overhead. “You fucking bastards are five minutes too late.”
Ryan turned as they unloaded their bombs, explosions lighting up the dawn and tearing through the thick brush.
“Ryan!” Monty yelled.
Turning back, he picked up his pace as the bombs wiped out the entire nest in a matter of moments.
Soon after a Black Hawk helicopter thundered above them, and when his stomach lurched as they lifted off, there was no laughter or jokes, just the loud beat of the rotors carrying them back to base.
With Jake lying beside him, Ryan held tight to his cold hand. He let silent tears roll down his cheeks as everything inside him systematically shut down, leaving nothing but black.
Three months later…
Fremantle, Western Australia
As dusk settled in a riot of pink and orange, Ryan pulled the black, vintage mustang he’d collected from storage into the driveway. As the car idled powerfully, his eyes, raw and aching, fell on the cottage. In the time he’d been gone, the pretty little cottage remained the same, which felt wrong because everything had changed. Jake was gone. Despite knowing the danger of their job, Ryan had always felt if either of them was to die, it would be him. It should’ve been him. For three months the guilt had eaten him alive from the inside out.
Ryan had barely been holding himself together, and facing Fin? He hadn’t been sure he could, but three months of avoiding her like a goddamn coward was enough. If he had to look her in the eye and see the heavy weight of accusation, then he should be man enough to take it.
Pulling his key from the ignition, he opened the door wide and climbed out. Cars drove down the pretty, tree lined street behind him. People were going about their lives—somehow not knowing that someone so remarkable, and so utterly selfless, didn’t walk the earth anymore. How could they not see?
Forcing himself to put one foot in front of the other, he walked up the front path to her door. Before he could change his mind, he knocked sharply, and after a pause, turned to stare blindly at the street, an envelope clenched in his fist as he waited.
“Take this, Kendall.”
Frowning, Ryan grabbed at the envelope from Jake before it dropped to the floor. “What is it?”
“It’s for Fin. You know, in case …” his voice trailed off. “Anyway, we better get to this briefing.”
“Tanner, wait!” Ryan called out with Jake halfway out the door. Jake paused and Ryan scrambled around in the drawer beside his bunk. He pulled out his own envelope and held it out. Jake looked at it, then at him, and Ryan hated the thought of what it would mean for Jake to be giving that to Fin. “Me too, okay?”
They had a service on base in Afghanistan for Jake. The soldiers formed an honour guard to say farewell, saluting him as he was marched to the aircraft and flown home.
With their deployment ending just a week later, his troop returned in time to attend the service held at home. Ryan had carried Jake’s envelope inside the jacket of his military uniform at Jake’s funeral, but he couldn’t force himself to go to Fin.
Mike and himself, along with Kyle, Monty, Galloway, and Tex, had formed the guard of honour that carried Jake’s coffin to the chapel. His jaw clenched the entire way, fighting back tears.
They’d buried Jake with full military honours at Karrakatta cemetery. The service had included the Prime Minister, the Minister for Defence, the Defence Force Chief, the Chief of Army, and hundreds of soldiers, family, and friends. Jake had been loved, revered, and buried as an Australian hero.
Ryan had stood there, in a sea of army green, holding his breath as he watched Fin. She’d been beautiful in a simple black shift dress, her blonde hair tousled and loose as she climbed the chapel stairs. Walking slowly to the front lectern, she stood in front of a thousand people and spoke. His chest ached as her words had people laughing, tears falling, and hearts breaking. Then she finished with the lines that had made him so fucking proud of her.