Fin ran inside the house, returning moments later with another envelope. “You have one too.”
“Thank you.” His voice was hoarse and he cleared his throat as he reached out and took it. He indicated towards the front of the house. “I need to go.”
She nodded and he turned, his long-legged stride taking him quickly from view, leaving her emptiness to return.
Sitting down, she swallowed the last of her wine and fingered the edges of the envelope, opening it carefully and unfolding the single sheet of paper.
Fin,
If you’re reading this letter, then I’m sorry for leaving you behind. I’ve not really gone anyway. I’m wedged inside your heart where you can keep me alive, okay?
I hope it’s a comfort to you that I haven’t regretted a single moment of my life, and that my reasons for leaving are so that others can live a life of freedom.
Fin, you’re smart and brave, so know that I’m leaving Ryan in your hands. He needs you. He’s proud and strong, but it’s always the strongest that fall the hardest.
Always smile when you think of me, and please, don’t be scared to love. It’s what makes life what it is.
I love you,
Jake.
P.S. Don’t ever retire your Supergirl suit, okay? I want you out there saving those whales so your kids can grow up seeing them in real life, rather than in history books.
Ryan slumped against the door of his car, swallowing the lump in his throat. He’d let Jake die and then for three months he hid from the world. Why hadn’t she been angry with him for that? He would’ve preferred the spark of fury rather than the emptiness in her eyes.
Jake, you goddamn asshole! I want you to come back to life just so I can kill you all over again for leaving us without you.
Opening the car door, he put the envelope on the passenger seat and slammed the door shut. Hearing screams from inside the house, panic flooded his body, leaving him ice cold.
“Fin!” He rushed towards the house. “Fin!” He yanked hard on the front door but it was locked.
Breathless, he ran hard around the side of the house. Wild screams pierced his ears as he stormed through the back door. What he saw almost brought him to his knees.
Fin stood in the living room, her books—the ones she’d treasured reading her entire life—lay shredded on the floor, ripped pages littering every surface. Broken plates and smashed cups joined them. Even as he rushed the room, a plate spun past his head and crashed into the wall behind him.
“Fin!” he shouted as he ducked. “Stop!”
Held in the grip of rage, she didn’t hear or see him. She turned back to the side cabinet for more plates, chest heaving, her face twisted in anguish as she threw another.
Ryan came up behind her and locked his arms around her waist, trapping her hands by her sides.
“No!” she shrieked. She kicked her legs up wildly as he spun her around, walking carefully over the broken shards that would have torn her bare feet. “Let me go! Damn you, Ryan, let me go!”
Her cries cut right through his chest as she wrestled free, shoving him off her as they reached the hallway. “Damn you!” she shouted and he flinched. “Fuck you! Fuck Jake. How could he leave me?” She sobbed hard and loud as her back slid down the wall, her legs unable to support her slender weight, and it ripped him apart. “How could he leave me?”
Ryan sank down beside her and pulled her into his lap, rubbing her back as waves of grief split her open.
“He’s out there, alone, buried in the ground where it’s dark and cold. I’ll never look into his beautiful, smiling face again, and I can’t stand it, Ryan,” she sobbed as she clung to him. “I just want him to come home. I want him home,” she choked out.
“Me too, baby.” Tears blinded him as he pressed his forehead against hers, powerless to do anything but hold her. “I want him home too.”
Ryan wasn’t sure how long he sat there rocking her, listening to her sobs fade into small hiccups and eventually a deep slumber. Not wanting to disturb her, he stayed where he was, his arms holding her as night fell around them.
He pressed his face into her neck and breathed her in, allowing his lips to touch her skin. Feeling his blood stir, he closed his eyes, willing it away.
“Ryan?” she whispered hoarsely.
“Shhh,” he soothed and kissed her neck, letting his lips trail up her neck to her ear and murmuring, “Just let me hold you.”
Ryan took a deep breath as she shuddered against him. He pressed a kiss against her ear. Turning her head, his mouth trailed gently along her cheek.
“Ryan,” she breathed.
Twisting in his lap, she cupped his face in her hands. The emptiness in her eyes now sparked with craving, and the blood he felt stirring became a roar in his ears.
“Fuck,” he muttered, and ducking his head, took her lips hard. She whimpered under the pressure, her mouth opening to let his tongue thrust inside.