“Yup, what’s up?”
“Laney, I noticed you were upset today, but I’d rather focus on fixing it for you rather than dwelling on it. That’s what I do. I breathe the life back into things. It’s my specialty.” Ok, so I kinda smile at that. ”I want to get you out, show you some fun. Come out of your cave, Laney, play with others!”
“Well, since I’m now completely alone, I guess the only sensible thing to do is start over.” Completely alone...my rock rolled away.
“I’d like to point out that you’re not alone. I’m thrilled we’re friends and roomies, and I’d love to enjoy our freshman year together if you deem me worthy.”
She’s really good at the deep stuff and her words hit home. I know how to do Laney the daughter, Laney the ballplayer, and for a while I was pretty good at Laney and Evan, but I have no clue how to do just Laney.
“You know what, Bennett? I’m sorry. I am grateful to have you. This is all new to me and I’m not trying to be a brat. You get me an ID, I’m in.”
I’m an excellent dancer, right? Every stuffed animal I own thinks so. I’d never do it at my old school, but this is my new school, my new life, so maybe I can bust a move or two.
“Laney, you’re the best roommate and new BFF ever!” She claps, jumps up, and gives me a huge hug.
Yeah, I can handle this. “So, what should I wear tonight? What are you wearing?”
“Laney, why do you even ask those questions together? Imma do me, you do...jeans, heels and maybe a halter top? Can you handle that?”
“Only if you have heels and a halter top you want to loan me.”
“Of course I do!”
We’re going to The K, which we’ve clarified is short for The Kickback. It’s the most cosmopolitan thing I’ve ever done in my life. I am wearing a strapless bra and there’s false documentation on my person. I’m picturing Pinocchio, when Honest John leads him to the island; we’re all coming home donkeys tonight, I’m sure of it.
Donned in my own MissMe jeans and Bennett’s red high heels and black halter top, I’m self-conscious but as ready as I’ll ever be. I put my hair in a ponytail and wear very little makeup. It’s still me, and I don’t look the 21 my “license” now reads, but if they kick me out, that’s my flashing neon “sign” that this really is as bad of an idea as I suspect.
Bennett has gone all out—she has on a black skirt that could double as a tube top, 6 inch heels, and a glittery silver tank top. Her auburn hair is down and bouncing. She looks old enough to be one of our professors with her makeup job, and the look in her eyes is scandalous—Drama Girl is on the prowl. Well good, I can shrink behind her spotlight all night.
Zach looks great in dark wash jeans, a black button up shirt and his hair is styled; he even trimmed up the goatee a bit.
I send Evan a text on the way. I wish he was with me for many reasons, but at least I know I’m safe as I glance at Zach in the driver’s seat.
Laney: I love you, for all we are and all we’re not right now too. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it’s yours.
Evan: I am yours, always have been, always will be. I hate what this did to us, hate college.
Laney: Not a fan myself, but we had to grow up sometime right?
Evan: I will never love anything even half as much as I love you. We will find our way back.
Laney: I hope so.
Evan: Have a good night Laney, be safe.
Laney: Night Ev, u2
“You okay?” Zach looks at me from the corner of his eye.
“Yeah, I’m great.” It’s taking every effort not to let the tears I’m holding back fall. I didn’t think anything could ever come between Evan and me... and look at us now.
“Yes, you are, Laney, one of the best. Now have some fun, okay? You say ready and we’re gone, girl. And keep your phone on vibrate in case we lose each other. You won’t hear it, but you’ll feel it.” Zach seems very sure of his plan, so I relax a little.
“Let’s just not lose each other,” I offer weakly. “Laney, this is going to be fun, I promise!” Bennett adds from the backseat. She really has no fear.
There’s a huge dude at the door who barely even looks at my ID, but looks at me thoroughly, and just like that—we’re in. I can feel the pulse of the music all through me. I smell smoke and sweat, but I can see very little—this place is dark. I shiver and slide my arm through Zach’s, trusting him to lead the way. He reaches up and pats my hand, making me feel a little better.
“Bennett?!” I all but scream. “Right here.”
“Okay, don’t you dare run off.”
“Yes, Mom.”