“Yes, I do. Evan, I want you to be happy. I want you to do whatever you want, whatever gets you by. Well, I mean, be careful.” I blush and let out a sarcastic snort. “Know that I don’t hold you to anything. We agreed. Just be happy.”
It feels like my heart is splitting in two and half of it will be heading back to Athens, but it’s also suddenly easier to take a deep breath. The thought of Evan with other girls makes me sick, but I know that isn’t his reasoning. That’s a surface issue to the deep emotional havoc, so I don’t outright ask him not to sleep with anyone. The thought of him sitting in the corner of rooms sad and lonely makes me so much sicker.
My entire drive back to school is done with tears clouding my vision, a gripping pain in my chest, and half my soul missing.
Chapter Twenty
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KICKIN’ IT
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Laney
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Bennett is thrilled I’m back early—there’s no school tomorrow and she’s immediately harping on me to go out with her. Has she even noticed I look like hell? That perhaps something’s wrong with me?
Screw this. I’ll call Zach, who has become a great friend. We’ve gotten together a couple times at the nearby coffee shop. He’s a whiz at algebra and I’d be failing without him.
My first impression of him from the Hall Crawl was dead on. He gets cooler every time I’m around him. If he’d have come from back home, he no doubt would’ve been friends with Parker and Evan. A Kinesiology major, he wants to coach football later, and loves to play.
I couldn’t imagine why he didn’t have a girlfriend, but one day he’d told me some about his past, his heartbreak. His high school sweetheart had done a number on him. He found out she cheated on him several times after a picture on the Facebook page of someone who tagged someone who...however that works. That led to him questioning her and her breaking down into a fess-all. I got the picture (no pun intended). He’d been at arm’s length from anything serious ever since. It may have left him love shy, but it hadn’t made him one bit a bitter person, he was as sweet as sugar.
Sometimes I talk with him about Evan and he gives me much-appreciated advice, a guy point of view minus any “I really want to get in your pants” ulterior motives. His heartbreaking relationship had also been long-distance, so he understands exactly how I feel.
He answers right away and assures me Drew is out (his roommate definitely hasn’t grown on me like he has), so I head to his room. The minute he opens the door, he knows something is wrong—thank you, friend! He pulls me in for a hug, rubbing my back, and leads me to sit with him on the couch.
I tell him everything in between hiccups and sobs and he doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t interject with opinion; he just listens. When I take a break, he finally speaks. “Want to know what I think?” I nod into his shoulder. “I think you two have an amazing relationship, even if it doesn’t have a name or a box to fit into right now. It’s no doubt a relationship, and one of the most forgiving, open, and loving ones of all time. What’s that girly poem chicks are always quoting; something about if you love it, set it free?”
“Free, like do you think he’ll sleep with a bunch of girls? That makes me want to puke.” It does—my throat starts sweating.
“I don’t, Laney. I mean, he might, but he sounds different. Believe it or not, some guys do make it through college without a STD. Do you see me sleeping around?”
And just like that, he makes it all better. What he said, that’s exactly what Evan and I have, and that’s exactly what we’re doing—setting each other free to see if we’ll find our way back one day. And Zach does seem fine not whoring, and there aren’t girls coming out of Sawyer and Tate’s room all the time either, although I’m sure that’s more Tate’s influence than Sawyer’s. But it’s another example that not all college guys are bound and determined to sleep with everyone available. Damn, Zach’s better therapy than the actual therapist I used to have. His answer kicked her lame rumblings’ ass.
“So, Miss Laney, what should we do now?”
“Well, Red over in my room would like to go to The K tonight, which I’m assuming is a bad idea. But it’s not really college without a brush with public intox, though, right?”
“How are you gonna get into The K, Laney? You’re only 18, right?” He raises his eyebrows in playful question.
I stick my tongue out at him. “I’ll be 19 in a few weeks.”
“Still not old enough.” He grins.
“Apparently Bennett has connections in the world of fake IDs.”
“Do you want to go to a club, Laney? I mean, I think The K is awesome, but I’m not sure if you’d like it.”
“Honestly, I’m sick of being down, and whatever I’ve been doing isn’t working! I just hurt the person most important to me, so maybe I oughta give something new a try?”
“I’ll go with you then.” Not a question, but not really a command either; just right.
We agree to meet up at my room at 8 and I head back to brave Bennett. She’s lying on her bed when I get there, and sits up when I enter. “Laney, can we talk?