I’d kiss her right now, but there’s no way I’d stop at that, so instead I pull her into my chest and whisper, “we’ll figure it out, love, I promise.” Please don’t let me break this promise, too.
I hear her dad come in; he pauses but doesn’t say a word—I stay all night here with Laney and finally get a good night’s sleep.
Chapter Nineteen
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DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD
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Laney
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The next day, Evan and I walk hand in hand across Parker’s field for a picnic. I know his family wouldn’t mind, as if they’d ever even know, we’re a good hundred acres from the house. I need some alone time with Evan and we need to talk, but the alone time first.
The sun is warm on our skin and the slight breeze is perfect. Evan carries the picnic basket I’ve packed while I cling to “my blanket,” which I dug out from behind his truck seat. I’ve sat under this navy blue blanket at more of Evan’s chilly football games that I can count, watching him do his thing. I smile a bit, despite the sadness that comes with the memories; this old blanket is about the only thing left that’s still in the place it belongs. I turn my gaze to Evan, forcing the melancholy thoughts away, refusing to waste even one minute of the time I actually have with him.
He looks so handsome today; his silky brown hair is messy from the wind and his sculpted body is showcased in a tight gray shirt and faded jeans. He takes the blanket from me and spreads it out, sitting first. “Come here to me, sweet girl.” He stretches his hand out to help me settle down beside him. His gentle respect for me never gets old.
Lying back on the blanket, looking into his eyes, our hands joined between our bodies, I know that I will always be connected to Evan. Without having to say the words, we both know the other is hurting. Now that we’re together, we can’t wait another minute to show our love; to heal what we can for one another.
Evan rolls over on his side to face me, tucking my hair behind my ear. My heart and soul respond, all of me relaxing. He moves over my body and kisses me passionately, whispering sweet words, but in it I can feel the heartache. He runs his hand up and down my body, like he’s memorizing every part. “I need to feel close to you, Laney,” he says, his voice deep.
This boy. This amazing boy loves me; platonically, romantically, physically, spiritually. Nothing he does is ever to hurt me. His eyes don’t lie and he can’t hide from me when I look into them. The pain I see there tugs at my heart. Can I fix the miles between us? No. Can I speed up time until being together again is an option? No. Can I ease his spirit right now? Absolutely. Running my finger along his jaw, soaking up his masculine beauty, I whisper, “My sweet Evan, I’ve missed you.”
He pulls one strap of my top down my shoulder, kisses along its path, and then flicks his gaze to mine. Soothing him that this is okay with me, I reach up and pull the other strap down for him, revealing my breasts to his lust-filled eyes. He leans down to run his tongue excruciatingly slowly over my nipples; tracing them, learning them. Arching into his mouth, I gasp his name and a low rumble escapes from deep in his chest.
He makes me feel so good, so cherished. His hand moves up my thigh, to the zipper to my pants, and I can feel the slight tremble and he sneaks his hand inside, teasing just along the edge of my panties.
“Ah, Laney, sweet Laney,” he moans as he rubs against me.
I can feel how much he wants me. My hands refuse to slow down, taking in his back, his shoulders, his neck. His body is tense as I wrap my legs around his hips and push him into me harder with my heels.
Panting, he pulls back, reading my expression. “I need to touch you, angel.”
Of course this is going to confuse us even more, make the distance more harsh, but I’ll be damned if I can stop myself now. My chest heaves with my rapid breaths, my body writhing as I pull him even closer to me. “Do something before I go crazy,” I pout achingly.
His chuckle is light as his hand finds the spot where I need him most, pulling my panties to the side. One of his long fingers runs tentatively down my center and a tremor shoots through me. His mouth moves along my throat in open, wet caresses. “Being with you, Laney, nothing compares. Nothing ever will, my love.”
I grab him around the neck and pull his mouth to mine, kissing him with an uncontrolled fervor. His fingers move soft and slow, exploring me. That wicked tongue of his skims the shell of my ear, sending tremors to my core where his hand plays.
“You good, baby girl?” he breathes out. “Never been better; don’t stop.”
He continues his mastery of my body, his thumb pressing the perfect spot, until I begin to shudder uncontrollably, devouring every inch of his mouth with my burning tongue. Within seconds, an ungodly moan rips from me as he takes me to heights I didn’t know existed.