“You can’t swim,” he repeats.
“No.” A drop of rain lands on my head and slithers down my scalp. “We should go.” The day is ruined. “It’s going to rain.”
Ryan loosens his grip on me and within
seconds, he sweeps me into the air and cradles me against his chest. My face is devastatingly close to his. I blink several times. “What are HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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you doing?”
Instead of answering, he jumps into the
pond.
Dizziness overcomes me and my blood
pressure tanks. Water rises and smacks my face, my hair, my clothing. My arms strangle his neck. I’m going to drown. “Ryan!”
“I’ve got you,” he says in a calm tone.
“You’re okay.”
He wades deeper into the cold water.
Gravity calls for me to slide out of his arms and become constrained by the water below.
I’ll suffocate with my eyes open. My hold on him tightens. “Take me back!”
Water penetrates my shoes, my jeans, the
back of my shirt. It pours over my stomach and I grow heavier and heavier. Cold wetness teases my skin—calling out a hateful,
mimicking laugh. I bury my head in the crook of his neck. I don’t want to die. I don’t.
He stops and whispers into my ear, “Look at me.”
I don’t have the strength to lift my head.
Instead, I ease it to his shoulder and open my eyes.
“I’m going to teach you how to float.”
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I tighten my grip. “You’re going to kill
me.”
“Trust me.”
“I can’t,” I whisper. I trusted Scott, my mother, and my father. I trusted Luke, my aunt, and Isaiah. All people who left me. All people who faded into darkness. My heart has been ripped multiple times and each time I repaired it on my own. I know my limits and if someone rips me apart again, I’ll never find the strength to pick up the pieces.
An intensity warms his brown eyes and he
gently hugs my body to his. “You can.”
I suck in a breath. Ryan’s doing it. He’s giving me the same look Chris gives Lacy. The same look Noah gives Echo. Maybe I can. My heart thunders as I reach up and grab the hair curling near the base of Ryan’s neck. “Don’t drop me.”
“I won’t.” Ryan’s voice is so soothing—so confident—I almost believe him. Maybe I can believe him. He won’t drop me. He’ll hold me.
He swore it.
“It’s time to let go,” he says.
One breath. Another. He won’t let me go. I loosen my grip and Ryan immediately lowers HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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his arms. Water floods over my body and
laps against his chest. My head snaps up and I kick and splash to stay above water. Panic commands my lungs. He’s taller than me, which means I wouldn’t be able to stand in the water. “Take me back.”
Ryan lowers his forehead to mine. His warm breath fans over my face. “I will never let you go.”
He won’t let me go. He won’t. “Okay.”
Ryan skims his nose along my cheek and
goose bumps rise on my neck. He pulls his head back. I fight the urge to cling to him.
Ryan said he wouldn’t drop me and he won’t.
He won’t.
My hair becomes weightless in the water
and licks my cheeks. Ryan’s strong arms
reaffirm his promise to me. “Tilt your head back,” he says.
I inhale and do as he asks. Water enters my ears and my muscles flinch with fear. Ryan keeps his firm hold. “Spread your arms to your sides and arch your back. Let your legs float.”
As I slowly follow instructions, Ryan steps from me. I jerk toward him. “Ryan!”
He shakes his head. “I’m not letting go. I’m HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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giving you room. Keep your head tilted
back.”
Head tilted back. Arms and legs spread out.
My pulse throbs in my ears. Ryan’s voice is muffled, but I can read his lips. “Relax.
Breathe.”
Relax. Head tilted back. Arms and legs
spread out. Breathe. I stare at the clouds overhead and the trees hanging over the pond.
Relax. Head tilted back. Arms and legs spread out. Breathe.
A pair of birds circle in the sky. It’s a playful dance. They spread their wings and let the gentle wind pull them up and over. Down and around. God, I wish I was free. I wish I was a bird floating in the breeze. I close my eyes and pretend I’m a bird. My muscles melt. The water makes a rhythmic swishing melody in my ears. Away and near. Away and near.
I’m a bird—floating on the breeze. A gentle nudge in the back of my mind whispers that I know this feeling. I’ve owned this feeling for years. This feeling of drifting, swaying, floating. I’m floating. Through the water I hear Ryan’s sweet muffled voice: “You’re doing it.”
I open my eyes and see that glorious smile HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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on his lips. The smile that is for me. Me alone. I go to smile back and I realize I already am. I’m smiling. My stomach clenches and the chains return. Oh God, no. I’ve fallen in love with him. I’ve done it. I’ve given him power over me.
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Ryan