He lifts me and my body slowly slides
against his. I want to kiss him and from the hunger smoldering in his eyes, he feels the same way. He takes my hand in his and leads me away from the bonfire, away from other people, into the woods, and into a world of our own.
The moon creates a silvery glow and the
babble of the creek gives the moment a
mystical quality. The darkness isn’t so
frightening with Ryan. With him I can believe that I am a princess with a wreath of flowers and ribbons crowning my head and he is my prince sworn to protect me from the evils in the night.
Ryan releases my hand and turns his
baseball cap to wear it backward, a sure sign he’s going to kiss me. My insides flutter. The enduring cockiness that exudes from Ryan fades and he shoves his hands in his pockets while shifting. “I wasn’t going to do the writing competition, but I am now. I talked to Coach today and told him I’m not playing next Saturday’s game.”
“Why wouldn’t you have done the
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competition?” I’m confused. Ryan has a
gift. Why wouldn’t he use it?
“My dad, he didn’t want…” Ryan shakes his head. “It’s not important. You’ve opened my eyes to a lot of things and I wanted to let you know that you’re a big part of this. A huge part.” He shrugs and for the first time I see Ryan unsure of himself. It’s an odd thing to watch from someone who is always nothing less than perfection.
“You’ll be perfect.” Some lives are blessed.
His is. Mine isn’t. I’m not sure how I helped, but at least he’ll have another good memory of me. I have ten days to tuck in as many good memories as I can for the both of us. I don’t want him to hate me forever. I want him to look back on our time together and smile.
Ryan sucks in a deep breath and his
continued track down the path of
uncomfortable makes me restless. “My parents are going to be out of town for a week starting tomorrow. They won’t be back until next Sunday.”
Awesome. “I get to use the front door?”
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with me…I mean.” Ryan swears under his
breath. “I want you at my house if you want to be there.”
If it was anyone else stumbling through that awkwardness, I’d laugh, but it’s Ryan, so I choke on the chuckles. “Are you asking me to have sex?”
His eyes widen. “No. I would never ask that.
I mean, I would. Someday. Now if I could. But no. No. We’ll wait. Ah hell, Beth, can I screw this up any more than I already have?”
I smile at the word screw and Ryan catches it. He says a word I thought only pops out of my mouth. Ryan’s cheeks turn red and the blush on his face makes me blush. God, we’re standing here acting like two virgins.
In fact, this whole week we’ve acted like virgins. We do this uncomfortable dance when I slip into his room and climb into his bed. He waits forever to kiss me, no matter how many signals I give. And when we do kiss—the fire between us is hotter than flames in hell. Then we reach certain points where neither one of us seem to want to cross the line. I’m used to guys pushing forward. I guess I could cross the lines, but the thought frightens me. Such a HC TITLE-AUTHOR
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squeamish-little-girl feeling makes me want to slap myself. It’s not like I’ve never seen a guy’s penis before.
Ryan readjusts his hat and I tilt my head as I understand the agony marring his beautiful face. “You’re a virgin,” I say.
I curse internally when Ryan flips his hat back and yanks the bill hard over his face. Go ahead, Beth, embarrass the boy a little more.
Why don’t you ask him if he has a small dick, too? Talk about screwing things up. This is not the memory I want Ryan to have of me, but the knowledge he’s supplied will ensure I can give him something he’ll never forget: his first time.
I close the distance between us. He’s stiff when I wrap my arms around him and press my cheek against his chest. “I don’t care. In fact, it makes you more perfect.”
Ryan sighs loudly, but his body relaxes
under my touch. His strong hands caress my back and weave through my hair. “I’m not perfect, Beth.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Ryan!” Chris yells close to the tree line.
“Get your sorry ass over here. Logan took on a dare.”
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“Of course he did,” mumbles Ryan. He
keeps his arm around my shoulder and leads me back into the pasture.
Logan stands beside Chris and wears a crazy grin on his face. “Do you still have those bungee cords in your Jeep?”
“Yes,” Ryan answers hesitantly.
An excited gleam that frightens even me
sparkles in Logan’s eyes. “Great. Let’s go.”
Chris and Logan head toward the parked
cars. I nudge Ryan when he stays still. “Go.”
He traces circles on my arm. “It’ll only be a few minutes.”