I look over unimpressed. “You do know we’re not married and this is not your baby, right?”
Mark smirks, “I think you need to be happy and laugh. You went through hell trying to get pregnant before, and now you are without even trying. I know it’s the worst timing possible, but maybe this is your time. Liam’s my friend too, and all of this shit is going to be ugly, but you all need to do what’s right so everyone can move forward.” He grabs my hand, and the kind and compassionate jokester becomes the strong man. “I know I fuck around a lot, but I’m worried about all of you. You’re passing out, Liam’s overseas, and Aaron is a mess. He wasn’t right before he went to Afghanistan, and Jackson and I failed to handle it.”
“What do you mean?” I ask as he sits by my side.
“He wasn’t himself. We all chalked it up to the fertility stuff or other stress at home. He didn’t talk to us much on a good day,” he laughs.
Aaron was always quiet. He lived in his head a lot because of the Navy, but even before that, he wasn’t overly social. With me, it was a little different. We both knew what buttons to push and how to make the other lose it.
“After we got back from the mission where we lost Brian, Fernando, and Devon . . . I don’t think any of us were right. I’m, you know . . . me,” he pauses and I smile. “Jackson had Maddie, and we know he didn’t handle it well, but Aaron was just quiet. I figured it was him dealing with it. I feel like we all failed each other.”
Mark pours his heart out, and for the first time, I really try to see when it all happened. That mission destroyed and bonded the three of them. Aaron, Mark, and Jackson all left the Navy after that. Aaron was injured, but he finished his enlistment. He went through his therapy and never spoke about it. I just assumed he was dealing with it.
“I think I’m as much to blame for that. After all of that, having a baby became my only goal. If he died, I would have something of him,” I sigh and look away.
“Forgive yourself, Lee. We all make choices and some of them aren’t the best, but in the end, none of us are perfect. Aaron made some pretty shitty decisions, but you don’t have to bear his demons—he has to,” he squeezes my hand. “Now, about our beautiful bundle of joy . . .”
My hand rubs my stomach and I get choked up. “I don’t even know if I can be pregnant, let alone carry. You have to promise me you’ll keep your mouth shut.” I look at him as fear begins to swirl. If I’m pregnant by some miracle, there’s no guarantee I can carry full term.
He raises his hands. “I won’t say a word.”
“I’m serious. Liam has been out of touch a few days, and again, I don’t think this is possible.” I start to tremble.
“Hey,” he wraps his arm around me. “Relax. We’ll see what the doctor says and go from there.”
I focus on staying calm and wait for the OBGYN to come for a consult. My mind wanders to Liam and how he’ll feel about me being pregnant. We never used protection because I never thought this was a possibility. Mark stays with me, and of course, continues to drive me insane.
We talk about the investigation into Cole Security Forces and how he found something suspicious in the files. He explains how he’ll be heading out of town a little more often to check on things.
“Charlie and I are working together on some leads,” Mark says absently.
“Mrs. Gilcher, I’m Dr. Wynn.” He enters and heads over with my chart. Mark stands and shakes his hand.
“I’m going to step out and call the office . . . let them know you’re alive,” Mark winks and I nod.
“Do you want to wait for your husband?” the doctor asks, looking perplexed at the fact he left.
I scoot up and shake my head. “No, he’s just a friend.”
“Okay, I ran your labs again and you are in fact pregnant,” he confirms.
My lips turn and my heart races. I’m going to have a baby—Liam’s baby. “I have a lot of history.” I attempt to rein it in. The bottom line is that I’ve lost a hell of a lot more babies than I’ve given birth to. I know the pain that comes along with getting excited or being hopeful. I need to make sure I don’t get too far ahead of myself.
I go over my past fertility issues and miscarriages. He listens patiently as I give details and start to get slightly emotional. I explain that the baby’s father is overseas and how I need to be certain everything is okay. The big mystery is how pregnant am I. Because I don’t have regular cycles, I could be a few weeks, or I could be a few months.
Dr. Wynn steps to the side of the bed. “Well, I’d like to do an ultrasound and see how far along you are. Then we can get you set up with your doctor, but at least we’ll get a good idea today. Sound good?”
I brace myself and let out a deep shaky breath. This is it. “Let’s do this.”