Checking It Twice

chapter Nineteen


Her heart heavy, Jana sipped at her raspberry iced tea and watched Kevin from across the room while he chatted with Ry, Lacey and Bram. These past few days she’d struggled to push his imminent move to the back of her mind. Faced with his going-away party and the dozen or so of Kevin’s coworkers bidding him a farewell made it impossible to ignore the gloomy facts.

He was leaving her.

She swallowed, the lump of bleakness lodged in her windpipe refusing to budge. He’d warned her countless times that they didn’t have a future. She’d jumped into this wild, exhilarating ride with him and Nick, eyes wide open. She had no one to blame for her heartache but herself.

You can’t control who you fall in love with.

The acknowledgment offered little solace, particularly when Ry leaned his elbow on the bar and wrapped an arm around Lacey, his hand gently rubbing her stomach while Bram stroked her arm.

A strong pang of envy and wistfulness stabbed Jana in the diaphragm. She wanted that kind of love with Kevin and Nick. So badly, it hurt.

Fingers brushed her waist, and she veered her attention to Nick. She’d been so wrapped up in her moroseness she hadn’t noticed he’d returned from the restroom. Cupping her cheek in his other hand, he kissed her softly before moving his lips to her ear. “I’d give anything to shoulder your hurt for you.”

“I knew what I was getting myself into.”

“Doesn’t make it any easier.” Nick’s thumb traced her cheekbone. “I’m here for you. Always.”

She nibbled her lip. “I…I wasn’t sure if you’d still want to stay.”

“Jana, I love you. Kevin leaving sure as hell doesn’t change that. I know a big part of your heart belongs to him, and I wish to God he’d come to his damn senses and see the mistake he’s making, but if he doesn’t, I’m not giving up on you and me.” Nick’s expression softened a degree. “That’s if you’ll have me.”

“Of course I will.” She sucked in a sniffle before hugging him. “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here.”

“You won’t ever have to worry about that, baby.” Snuggling her closer, he kissed her temple.

For the dozenth time in the span of half an hour, Kevin’s gaze sought her out. Some dark emotion mingled with the sorrow in his expression before flicking out of sight. He quickly returned to his conversation with Ry. She dragged in another shuddery breath. “He rarely lets me see what he’s feeling. Even when we’re making love.”

Nick’s palm slid soothing circles along her spine. “He’s afraid of revealing too much of himself.”

“Why?”

Rather than answer, Nick massaged her nape. He remained quiet for an endless moment before squeezing her shoulder. “Do you remember when I told you how Kev has been made to feel ashamed about his voyeurism? Well, it goes a bit deeper than that. Imagine your parent constantly telling you that you’re a sick sexual deviant.”

She turned and stared at Nick, unable to believe what he’d just revealed. The solemnness of his expression made it all too clear that it was the truth though. Her heart cramped in sympathy for Kevin. “No, I can’t imagine facing anything remotely like that. My family has always been nothing but supportive of who I am.”

“That’s exactly why we need to prove to Kev that there’s nothing wrong with his desires. That it’s okay for him to be who he is, and that constantly shutting everyone out isn’t the answer.”

She nodded. “I want to be there for him. Whatever it takes.”

Nick glanced in Kevin’s direction before looking her straight in the eye. “I have an idea. It’d push his boundaries though. Hard. But I think it’s the needed shove to get him to face his demons.” Grazing her skin lightly, Nick smoothed back her hair and kissed her temple before whispering his plan to her. She took it all in, her pulse accelerating.

“It’s a big, risky step,” Nick admitted. “I need to know that you’re ready for this.”

She licked her lips, nervous adrenaline making her head spin. “Absolutely.”

The remaining two hours that it took to wind up the party were a study in agonizing anticipation for Jana. When she, Nick and Kevin finally piled into the car, butterflies dive-bombed in her belly. She hoped to hell Nick knew what he was doing with this plan of his.

Not that she wasn’t looking forward to it. A lot.

The backseat’s leather upholstery gave a creaking protest as they flew past the exit for the Cineplex. “I take it we’re still not doing a movie,” Kevin said dryly.

Nick hit the wipers, dispersing the dusting of flakes from the windshield. “Nope.”

“So what are we doing?”

“Jana and I have a going-away gift for you.”

Weighty silence shrouded the backseat. Several seconds passed before Kevin cleared his throat. “You didn’t have to go to the trouble.”

“Yeah. We do.” There was a tight edge to Nick’s voice.

The tension inside the vehicle was palpable. It tripled in intensity the moment Nick pulled into Club Arabesque’s lot. Jittery and lightheaded, she waited as Nick killed the engine and strode to her door. Kevin was much slower at leaving the car. Despite the curious look he pinned her and Nick with, there was no mistaking the heat brewing in his eyes. In this respect, he wasn’t reluctant to expose his desire. Then again, he didn’t know what she and Nick had in store for him.

She sent up another silent prayer that Nick was right about this being what Kevin needed.

As if he’d read her uncertainty, Nick slipped his hand in hers and squeezed. Kevin fell in step beside them as their trio worked their way to the club’s front entrance. Once inside, they checked their coats and Kevin began to inquire about reserving a private room.

The attendant reached for the occupancy ledger, and Nick shook his head. “That won’t be necessary.”

Kevin frowned. “I thought we’re here to play.”

“We are. But we’re doing something a little different this time.”

Wariness settled on Kevin’s features. “What?”

Without replying, Nick glanced at the attendant. “Can we have three towels for the steam room?”

While the man disappeared into the closet behind him, Kevin’s agitation percolated. Clearly he was starting to form a picture of where the situation was headed, and panic was edging past his lust. She shot a worried glance at Nick. Pulling her close, he pressed his lips to her ear. “Stand united.”

She exhaled, struggling to relax. The attendant appeared with the towels. Nick divvied them out before tucking her against his side and heading down the hall. Risking a peek over her shoulder, she caught the glare Kevin had pinned to the back of Nick’s skull. He remained rooted in place, his muscles rigid as he battled the private war waging inside him. Nick was right about one thing—Kevin truly did think that his desires were something to be ashamed of. Knowing that only made her ache more for him. Swallowing, she returned her focus to the winding hallway ahead of them. “He’s not coming. He won’t be able to do this.”

“He’ll give in. Pouting all night in the hallway won’t get him what he wants—you.”

“You’re putting a ton of faith in his desire for me.”

“Sweetness, that’s one thing I have zero doubt about.”

They arrived at a set of double glass doors clouded with condensation. Nick pushed the handle and escorted her into the enormous steam room. The humid space was already occupied with a dozen or so people. A few were making out on the various benches. Others had spread their towels on the cedar floor planks and were going to town there. Breath hitching, she eyed the tattooed guy across the way who was busy devouring his partner’s p-ssy.

Nick’s fingers swept her nape. “It’s sexy to watch, isn’t it?”

“Y-yes. No wonder Kevin is turned on by it.”

As if she’d summoned him, one of the glass doors swung inward and Kevin stepped into the room. Their gazes locked, and a melody of joy and excitement trilled within her. It was still uncertain whether he’d completely go along with this, but just being there with them was a huge step in the right direction.

Nick set their towels aside and eased her sweater over her head before unhooking her bra and sliding the straps from her arms. The instant her breasts were bared, he knelt and sucked a pebbled nipple into his mouth, his dexterous fingers slipping the buttons free on her pants. Gliding his hands inside, he palmed her ass cheeks, using his forearms to coax her jeans down her legs. He stopped his worshiping of her breast and helped her from her boots.

It was strange and arousing to be nude in front of complete strangers. There wasn’t a centimeter of her body shielded from their lusty gazes, but it was Kevin’s ravenous stare that made her p-ssy weep most. Trembling, she silently beseeched him to stay. To join in their pleasure, and not be ashamed anymore by his desires.

The sound of clothes rustling drew her focus to Nick as he shrugged from his shirt, his sleek, gorgeous shoulders flexing. His trousers and briefs came off next and landed in a neat pile on top of her discarded garments. The sight of his cock—long, thick and breath-stealingly erect—coaxed even more wetness between her legs. Taking her hand, he stretched her out on the towels he’d arranged on the floor. Fingers a maddening torment, he caressed the quivering valley of her abdomen, causing her spine to arch. He moved lower and stroked the insides of her thighs, his touch persuasive. A hot, delicious breath whispered over her labia, seconds before his tongue rasped along her *.

She shuddered, already overwhelmingly close to coming. Swirl, suck, swirl. Panting, she writhed on the towel. A shadow fell across her, and she looked up into Kevin’s hot stare. She reached for him, and he automatically dropped to his knees next to her. His palm curved around her breast as his mouth crashed over hers. Whimpering, she tugged at his belt, desperation bringing a frustrating clumsiness to her fingers. His features strained, Kevin closed his hand over hers, his dark, tortured gaze sweeping the nearby couples.

She cupped his jaw. “It’s okay. No one here will judge you.” Keeping his focus locked with hers, she freed his belt buckle. His hand relaxed enough to allow her to unzip his pants. Closing his eyes, he dragged in a ragged breath, the tension on his face and held within every muscle in his body unrelenting.

His tongue abandoning her slit, Nick offered a nod. It was all the encouragement she needed. Easing Kevin’s pants and boxers over his hips, she freed his raging erection. She leaned forward and sucked his cockhead past her lips, making love to his shaft with slow, seductive swallows. A groan rumbled from Kevin’s chest, his thigh tensing beneath her fingers.

“You’ve got him, sweetness. Keep him right there, on the edge.” Nick’s hands spanned her waist, lifting her onto her knees. Grazing his nails down her back, he widened her stance, his condom-sheathed cock nudging her slick entrance from behind. Relaxing her throat, she took Kevin deeper, her moan a delirious vibration as Nick entered her in one smooth thrust.

Harsh breaths panted from Kevin, accelerating in tempo with each pump of Nick’s cock inside her. Dizzy from the pleasure cresting with her, she bowed her back, rocking desperately on Nick while she greedily sucked Kevin’s swelling cock. The muscles in his abdomen quivered before becoming rock hard as he tensed. His hands trembled on her scalp, seconds before he throbbed on her tongue and came with a shuddery groan. She pulled back enough to look up at him. His eyes were screwed shut, but the intense ecstasy riding his face was enough to hurtle her into the tidal wave with him. A second later, Nick lodged deep inside her and came with his own broken groan.

Tears streaming down her cheeks, she slumped between both men, her emotions frayed. If there’d been any doubt that Nick and Kevin owned her heart, what they’d just shared had confirmed it. They turned her inside out in a way no other men could ever do.

She just prayed with everything inside her that she and Nick had managed to exorcise whatever demons haunted Kevin.