Checking It Twice

chapter Eighteen


Separating himself from the tangle of limbs in his bed, Kevin padded toward his bathroom. He hesitated in the doorway and sent a look toward Jana and Nick’s sleeping forms. A dull ache cramped in his chest. He’d f*cking known it was a mistake to allow this to happen. Jana was so open and giving with her heart. He felt like a monster for the hurt he would bring her, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to change that. She wanted forever. She needed a relationship that would last and fulfill her. At least she would have that with Nick. If nothing else, that had been something good that came of Kevin’s reckless handling of Jana’s heart.

Despite the acknowledgment, his gut remained a hollow pit of tension as he stepped into the shower and cranked the water on. Without warning, Jana’s sweet declaration spun through his mind. I love you.

The compressed ball of anxiety expanded in his stomach. He loved her too. He’d be a damned liar if he didn’t admit that to himself. But to love someone…to allow them in long enough to rip your soul out…

“You were only a fun, diversionary f*ck, Kevvy. Why would you ever assume I love you?”

He clenched his fist on the slick shower stall, shame and guilt pitching in his stomach as the ghostly echo of Madison’s voice pummeled his brain. Shoulders hunched in protective defense, he numbed himself to the remembered pain of his youth, wishing with everything inside him that the tepid water sluicing over him possessed the ability to wash away his sins. He jumped when a hand unexpectedly stroked his back.

“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” Her touch soothing and tender, Jana hugged him. “Is it okay if I join you?”

Don’t hurt her anymore, you f*cking a*shole. The heaviness of his heart made it impossible to listen to his conscience. “Yeah.”

She snuggled into him, resting her cheek in the groove of his spine. “Nick is still sleeping. I think we wore him out.” Her muffled yawn peppered against his flesh.

“Sounds like he’s not the only one. You should go back to bed.” He laced his fingers with hers and pulled her arm tighter around his waist, contradicting his words.

“No, once I’m up, it’s impossible for me to fall back asleep. Besides, I like this. Cuddling with you.”

He liked it too. More than he should. He was also acutely aware of her beaded nipples poking him in the back and the enticing way her public hair tickled his butt cheek. His cock stiffened, jutting toward his navel. It didn’t matter how many times he’d had her. It would never be enough.

“Mmm, looks like I’m not the only one who’s up.”

He grimaced when he realized his cockhead was nudging Jana’s knuckles as if to say, Hello there, sexy lady. He cleared his throat. “Sorry about that. It tends to have a mind of its own. Especially in the morning.” Who was he kidding? Just having Jana in the room was all it took for his cock to respond.

“No need to apologize. I happen to be very fond of your morning woody. And your afternoon pecker. And ooh mama, don’t even get me started on your midnight salami.”

He choked on a sputtering laugh. “Midnight salami? Jana, what are we going to do with you?”

She nibbled his shoulder blade. “There’s no hope for me. I’m corrupted beyond repair. But I know what I want to do with this.” Her wet fingers enveloped his cock.

Displaying a total lack of timidity, she pumped his shaft in a fluid glide, causing him to jerk at the unexpectedness of her bold action. “Jana…”

“Shh. Let me take care of you.” Her lips brushing his damp, goose-pebbled skin, she continued jacking him, alternating her hands so that there was never a shortage of her bone-melting, brain-frying twisty-corkscrew-stroking of his cock. “I love touching you. Just like this.”

Before he could say anything, she dropped one of her hands and wiggled around to the front of him. Her soft, tempting lips grazed his stomach, making it quiver. Water cascaded through her hair, plastering the strands to her face and shoulders, but she paid no mind to her drenched state as she engulfed him inside her mouth. Cheeks hollowing, she sucked him with slow, torturous precision. Her tongue caressed the sensitive groove beneath his gland before tracing the rigid vein lining the length of his cock. Throat muscles tightening, she swallowed, taking him deep.

His vision blurred as the intense sensation buzzed at the base of his spine and drew his testicles in. He groaned. “So good. Jana, I… F*ck.” The hoarse curse ripped from his chest as the hot wave of orgasm crashed into him. He bucked, his come spurting down her throat.

She continued working him over until he pleaded for mercy. Once she released him, he dropped to his knees in front of her.

“Grab the handrail next to you.” The instant her grip was secured, he hiked her left leg over his shoulder and hoisted her up until his mouth was buried in her p-ssy. He lapped and sucked at her *, desperate to feel the pulse of her climax against his tongue. It didn’t make up for the hurt he was inflicting on her heart, but it was the one thing he could give her. Her free hand cupped the back of his head, holding him tight like she never wanted to let him go. A moment later she broke on a soft sob, his name a wrenching cry on her lips.

Shaking and trembling, he held her through the aftershocks, his heart aching and heavy. Her fingers sifted through his hair. He looked up at her, the boulder of regret like an anchor in his chest. “You shouldn’t love me, Jana. I’ll only hurt you.”

Tears dampening her cheeks, she dropped on her haunches and stroked his jaw. “Not loving you would hurt more.”



When they exited the bathroom several minutes later, they discovered the bed empty and the rich aroma of coffee drifting down the hall. His caffeine-deprived senses giving a blissful sigh, Kevin twined fingers with Jana and walked with her to the kitchen. Nick stood at the center island, cracking eggs into a mixing bowl.

Kevin grunted as he took in the jeans and T-shirt Nick had swiped from his dresser. “I hope to God you’re not wearing my underwear too.”

“Nope. Commando.”

“Aw f*ck. Was it necessary to tell me that?”

Nick chuckled as he dashed pepper into the bowl and gave everything a good whisk. “Someone’s a cranky pants this morning.” He offered Jana a mock-stern look. “Why didn’t you give him a blowjob while you were in there? Might have gone a long way in improving his mood.”

“Oh, but I did.” Jana fluttered her eyelashes, making Nick laugh.

He didn’t know whether to be relieved or worried that Nick wasn’t the slightest bit jealous about not being on the receiving end of Jana’s tender, loving oral care. Nick wasn’t typically the territorial type anyway, but Kevin had a sneaky suspicion that Nick was pleased something had transpired in the shower. Furthermore, it was likely the cause for Nick’s current joviality.

He knew without question that Nick was jockeying to make this threesome permanent. It was no longer just Nick’s mission to seduce Kevin into giving in to his lust for Jana. Now the ante was upped, and Nick was pushing the idea of the three of them in a relationship together. Never mind that Kevin was moving to Vegas and fulfilling a commitment to his dad.

You don’t owe that cold son of a bitch another pound of flesh.

Muting the phantom of Nick’s recriminating words, Kevin tucked the towel tighter around his hips and stalked back to his bedroom to get dressed. A few minutes later he returned to the kitchen and joined Jana and Nick at the table. He remained quiet and tense through breakfast. When Nick suggested the three of them hitting a matinee, Kevin mumbled an excuse about needing to pack. Actually, it wasn’t all that much of a lame lie. He really did need to get most of the stuff boxed up before the movers arrived next week. His pronouncement provoked a black look from Nick and mistiness in Jana’s eyes. The vise around his heart gave a vicious twist.

His eyes glinting a silent warning, Nick stabbed at his eggs. “I’ll help you with that later. Today you’re going to the damn movies with us.”

The temptation to deck his bossy best friend high on Kevin’s wish list, he glared at Nick. But much as he longed to give in to the urge or argue, he also didn’t want to upset Jana any more than she already was. If she wanted to go to a movie, it was the very least he owed her. His jaw still rigid, he nodded.

Tensions remained strained for the rest of the morning, but the three of them went out of their way not to say anything that might lead to an unpleasant snap. More than happy when the time came to drive to Jana’s so she could change, Kevin locked up the condo and climbed into the backseat of Nick’s rental. He opted to remain in the car while Nick went inside her place for a quick tour.

Within minutes they returned, and he offered Jana a smile before she settled in the passenger seat. “You look beautiful.” Of course, he didn’t think she was capable of looking anything but. Even with nothing but a hint of lip gloss adorning her face, she possessed a natural radiance that stole his breath.

Her pinkened cheeks hinting that she was more than happy with his compliment, she blew him a kiss and fastened her seat belt. Nick pulled out of the drive and headed in the opposite direction of the Cineplex. When Kevin pointed that fact out, Nick waved his hand in dismissal. Gritting his teeth, Kevin tapped Jana on the shoulder. “Would you tell him he’s going the wrong way? ’Cause he sure as hell isn’t listening to me.”

“It’s okay. We’re making another stop first.”

The frown he adopted at Jana’s announcement deepened when they pulled into the Dockside’s parking lot. “What are we doing?”

“I lost my bracelet the other day. Bram texted me to let me know it’s in the lost-and-found.”

“And you have to get it now?”

“Yes, it’s my favorite bracelet.” She unhooked her belt.

Sunday hours at the Dockside meant a locked door until four p.m. Which meant he’d have to drag his ass out of the car. Giving a resigned exhalation, he climbed from the vehicle and strode toward the front entrance with her. A quick rifle through his keys and he located the right one. A second later he swung open the door. The warning beep of the alarm didn’t go off. “Damn it, someone forgot—”

The lights flashed on and a raucous chorus of “Surprise!” filled the room. He almost suffered a damn heart attack. Blinking and biting back a few involuntary swear words, he stared at his grinning coworkers. “Wha—?”

Lacey rushed forward and tugged him past the entry mat. Before he had a chance to fully comprehend what was going on, his gaze fell on the handwritten banner hanging over the bar.

We’ll miss you. Scattered around the bold red letters were individual messages from his coworkers. An unexpected lump of emotion lodged behind his sternum. A moment later a volley of hugs and claps on the back jogged him from his daze.

The next several hours were a blur of activity. Eating, laughing, drinking, more eating, sharing of stories and favorite recipes, even more eating, and boisterous debates over who’d received the worst tips in history all contributed to make it one huge, bittersweet, happy party. But amongst all the revelry, a dark cloud hung over the festivities. These people had been a big part of his life. He was going to miss them just as much. He’d be a damn liar if he tried to convince himself otherwise.

He glanced across the way and caught Jana’s eyes on him, the sorrow in her expression twisting the knife in his chest. Her words echoed in his mind. Not loving you would hurt more.

He wished to God that was true, but the devastation in her eyes told a different tale.