I tried to tell him it was okay, that I wanted it, but I couldn’t speak with how crazed he was.
He released my lips. “Push me away and leave. Please, Lila!” His hands let mine go and grabbed my hips. With rough hands he dragged my shirt up and over my head. “I don’t want to break you.”
I couldn’t do what he asked. I wanted to take him in and let him see that everything was all right, that I was there for him.
Manic hands moved back to my waist, his fingers digging in, his passion and desperation increasing. He was clawing at the clasp on my suit pants before he moved to pick me up by my ass and walked us back inside.
He was hard against my stomach. The vibration of the groan that came out as he set me down, and my body ran down his length, sent an electric fire through me. He released me long enough to tug his own shirt over his head.
He picked me up again and once we reached the bedroom, we fell onto the bed, his hands grabbing at me, unable to stay in one place. His lips were everywhere, his tongue lapping at any flesh he could find. He latched onto the waist of my pants, his mouth never leaving my breast, and pulled the zipper down before removing them along with my panties. He removed his own pants as well and was on me again, his hands using more force than usual.
He hovered over me for a small second as he lined up. I looked into his eyes and gasped at the nothingness I saw in them. The lights were on, but I couldn’t find Nathan inside their depths.
He pushed inside and I arched while I cried out in pleasure. My body welcomed him, my hips rocking up to his.
I wanted to help him, but the situation was rapidly spiraling out of control. Everything was harder than usual, and every time he pulled out and slammed back in, it increased.
It didn’t take long before I was screaming out his name as I came, my body reacting to his, the same as always.
His grip grew tighter, kisses rougher, thrusts harder. It was to the point of pain. Everything was coming to a head; Nathan was breaking.
He was ending us in the same way we began, but harder. Ripping apart our connection with force. His anger, hurt, and pain laid bare as he took it all out on me.
“Please, Nathan. Come back to me,” I cried out, but I knew it was useless. I couldn’t pull him out, he was too far gone.
I grabbed his head, a gasp forced out of me at his eyes; blank and glazed over.
My blood ran ice-cold. His eyes always held a fire when he was with me, but it was gone.
He was dangerous, dark and scaring me. I whimpered another soft plea for him to look at me, and come back. My palms stroked his chest as tears threatened to leak out of my eyes.
His hands tightened around my arms, squeezing so hard I cried out in pain. He was shaking, tearless sobs rocking his body.
He kept his mouth away from my neck and shoulder; he wasn’t going to mark me.
This was it. The end.
A tear slid down my cheek.
His grip was harsh, bruising. His nails dug in deep at my hips, much stronger and harder than ever before. I tried to pull away, the pain intensifying, but I couldn’t and he was too far gone to notice.
I couldn’t fault him for it. I had asked for what was happening. I had let the beast inside of him out, allowed him to be fully unleashed upon me.
My muscles went lax, and I gave in to the sensations, unfolded myself so his needs could be sated and the nightmare could end.
The tears of anguish, both physical and emotional, poured from my eyes. I could feel it, his fingers so tight on my flesh. It was too great. We would not survive his pain, survive the night.
I shouldn’t have come.
Words from the past came crashing down on me.
It’s your fault. You shouldn’t have provoked him.